My husband is an alcoholic and the other day, while sitting outside in the sun, he slumped forward. I did not know how much he had to drink but I think it was about 4 beers and 1/2 pint of Vodka. He had been slurring his words. I jumped up and lifted his head up and he was turning blue and not breathing!!! I tilted his head back and blew two breaths and called 911. While on the phone with 911, I gave him two more breaths. His eyes were dilated and he was non-responsive still. I gave him two more breaths (still on phone with 911) and he choked and regurgitated and then spit up and started breathing. He did not know what had happened. He started talking and was responsive by the time the ambulance arrived. He at first refused to go to hospital but I was adament that he go and he went by ambulance. After seven hours of many tests, EKG, brain scan, CAT scan, blood and urine tests, chest x-ray, etc., they could not find anything wrong wth him other than "possible dehydration". They gave him some potassium pills and sent him home. I know that the alcohol caused him to stop breathing but he seems to think it was all because he was drinking "in the sun" and was dehydrated. The paramedics told him if I had not been there he would be dead. I am at my wits end and now cannot get the look of his blue face out of my mind. My first husband died of a heart attack right in front of me. I know CPR and could not save him. This husband has now told me "he had a wake-up call" but I can hardly sleep for fear he will stop breathing. It's only been three days since this happened and he's only had 2 beers since then. He tells me he definitely has his act together but I've heard that before. If I mention alcoholism too much he gets angry and defensive and leaves the room. I am suffering terribly from all of this.
I am so sorry that you had to go threw that!! I am not sure what would of done that, i am thinking it might of been a combination of everything but i done know..My husband is also a alcaholic and he has quit breathing on me many times but it is always when he is sleeping or should i say passed out, it use to scare the **** out of me but unfortunatly i have gotten use to it and when i see it happen i just hit him real hard in chest and he starts breathing agian, he must come out of it himself cuz am sure it dont just happen when i am around....I hope and pray that it was a wake up call to him and he quits. good luck to you. and i will say prayers for you.
Try and put this on the other side of the forum, you will get more help, go to top of page and click on Substance Abuse Addiction Community and then post on that side...this side is more for everyone just to talk. The other side is all addiction and help.
bobby-i think this forum is more than just ppl talking...there is some good recovery here..plus some of the spouses who have an alcoholic husband here...a few have gotten sober and many have have posted their 2 cents.Perhaps Living With an Alcoholic is a good forum as well....but my 2 cents is many of u ladies put up with the most ungodly insane things from a spouse,..waiting for him to get sober,trying to get him help...u do all the work and end up with so much frustration and he keeps on drinking.Belfrey-don't know how long u've been married to this guy but if u've tried to convince him to get help and he won't there isn't much u can do other than move forward and take care of urself.He's lucky u were there...or else he'd be gone...have u tried Al-Anon?counseling for urself?to the both of u-i've been sober/clean for 24 years....i HAD to wake up and take responsibility for myself!and no one did that for me....i had 2 do it myself!
My husband is also an alcoholic, he knows it as well as anyone that knows him. He drinks every day, all day except when he is working. Because he is such a functional alcoholic, he doesn't see it as a problem and will never quit. He has resigned himself to the fact that he is eventually going to die from something...and he may as well enjoy himself until then.
I don't nag him about quitting anymore, it is something he would have to want and eventually that would just destroy our marriage. I love him very much, but all I can really do is try to take care of him...I think he has severe liver damage, the whites of his eyes are no longer white, he never really feels good and has also stopped breathing in the middle of the night. I understand your fear since your husbands episode, I wonder sometimes if I ever really go to sleep anymore, it's like I am always half-awake just listening and waiting for something to happen.
He had one physical in the time we've been together, his liver enzyme levels came back abnormal and has refused to go back since.
I actually find that this forum is more helpful to get an insight into what life is like from his perspective, and the people here have been very helpful and supportive. The acoholic spouse forum has it's benefits I'm sure, but it's not very active and much of the discussion there is relative to alcoholics and various abuses...problems I don't have.
So, in the meantime all I can do is help him the best I can, but also take care of myself. This forum and the help of people that understand is helping me do that.
Thank God u take care of urself.....i could not live with someone who is destroying themselves....of course i am recovering myself and will not tolerate alcohol/drugs in my home.I had to cut loose from my boyfriend who i loved very much....relapsed after 3 years clean of cocaine..he turned in2 the Beast from Hell.It was ugly and sad.I'm glad i did it..u cannot help one who refuses to help themselves......only we can gives ourselves sanity and peace!:)
I was in the same position you were with my ex-husband. He was a crack addict, which I found out a month after we were married. The lies, stealing, disappearing for weeks at a time, taking up residence in a crackhouse, one relapse after another. I really tried too...everything I could thing of, narcotics anonymous, outpatient counseling, therapy, religion...after 5 years I finally figured out that I could not "save" him and had to move on.
So you're right, the only thing we can control is ourselves...and decide what we will and won't tolerate. I will not tolerate drugs in my house...my husband and his drinking, that's really a completely different situation, and I love him too much to leave him, he is a good loving person and the only thing his drinking is hurting is his health, but I will not try to change him. I've learned that is impossible to do.
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