I just dont know anymore about drinking. I mean, I used to love it, I used to go all day doing it, and i have lowered my consistencey with it, which is good, but the days after, i just am not liking it anymore. I feel so groggy today, like i dont really feel myself. Its like someone has taken my brain, and i only drank like 7 or 8 beers last night. I know I dont want to smoke weed anymore, or do other drugs, but alcohol is the hardest for me. Beings it's so easy to get a hold of. Plus it makes me feel better than weed does and other drugs. Im just tired. I've been alcholic or maybe just an alcohol drinker for about 12 years now. I never had bids of anxiety and paranoia until i did alcohol but i've never just felt so free on alcohol. So its like that Free feeling vs that just keeping myself focused and not acting liking an idiot feeling. Or puking or hangover or whatever. I dont know. Basically all last year, i probably had more alcohol in my system than water, and thats the truth. Its just not worth it anymore. I've seen how alcohol ruins people, and i just dont want to go down that path. Well, im having band practice with some friends today, so hopefully i dont have to drink, then i can say i had the will power. I guess its time to start counting the days again.