Aa
If I can't cut down I need to quit!!
Yesterday morning I woke up with yet another hangover and I know I had a couple blackouts from that night because I can't remember exactly what my husband and I were arguing over.. we both drink ALOT of beer (natural light mostly). We can put away a case each at any given time so I consider us to be binge drinkers.
Yesterday I told my husband that I have got to do something about my drinking.. that it's becoming a problem. For the past year or so I have increased my consumption to around 2 or 3 cases of beer per week (sometimes more!). I used to only drink on the weekends or social events.. I also had a turn off switch and could control the amount I drank! Now I can drink by myself and I enjoy it.. it's hard for me to put it down! I go to town to grocery shop but instead I end up just picking up something to cook for supper then I head to the liquor store!! It's like I can't wait to drink a beer!! I'd almost rather drink than do anything else!! Alot of times I will start drinking at noon and never put it down until midnight.
I can tell as time goes by that my husband and I are becoming unhealthy because of the excessive drinking (he is 37, I am 33). I feel dehydrated.. I have dry mouth alot.. crack on my tongue down the middle.. a white coating.. my ENT says I have some kind of growth on the base of my tongue and put me on heartburn medicine?? weird! My husband has many spider angiomas on his nose.. I have a couple.. He has them all over his chest.. I've noticed a couple more cherry angiomas on our bodies and I read those are from busted capillaries. Our blood pressure has been getting higher (prehypertension). Ofcourse we have had alot of stress this year (more than ever!) because he is out of work.. also other various stressful events. Both my husband and I drink around 4 days a week. He started drinking at 13 years of age.. I started drinking at 21 with a few years of not drinking in between then and now.
Yesterday I told myself and my husband that I am going to do my best to not drink at all this week but right now I want SO badly to go out to the fridge in our shop and crack open a cold one!!!!!! :( I don't know exactly why I'm posting this but maybe I want someone to talk me out of drinking a beer. I don't know if I can make it a whole week and that's not good!
ps. I had my bloodwork done a couple months ago and everything is functioning normally.. I had an ultrasound of my internals (liver, gall bladder, spleen, heart, etc) and the nurse said everything looked great! I had a hyda scan but unfortunately it looks like my gall bladder only functioning at 38%.. no gall stones... I guess I'm still healthy as far as that goes but I can tell there's something going on with our health and it's not good!! or maybe I'm becoming a hypocondriac?
I'm pretty certain I've developed or am developing dependancy on beer!!!! I like a shot of patron every now and then too but not often.. mainly beer!!! I LOVE BEER!! :( If I can't cut down I need to quit!!!! This is kinda funny too because I've spent many years complaining and depressed about my husband's drinking and now look at me!! I'm doing the same thing!! I started drinking again in the summer of 2009 after a year and a half of complete sobriety! Before that time I wasn't a real big drinker.. just occasionally.
Maybe I do have a question afterall.. thanks in advance for reading my post.. Could I try drinking one beer a day or should I try harder to go this week without any.. I was thinking of detoxing myself..
Yesterday I told my husband that I have got to do something about my drinking.. that it's becoming a problem. For the past year or so I have increased my consumption to around 2 or 3 cases of beer per week (sometimes more!). I used to only drink on the weekends or social events.. I also had a turn off switch and could control the amount I drank! Now I can drink by myself and I enjoy it.. it's hard for me to put it down! I go to town to grocery shop but instead I end up just picking up something to cook for supper then I head to the liquor store!! It's like I can't wait to drink a beer!! I'd almost rather drink than do anything else!! Alot of times I will start drinking at noon and never put it down until midnight.
I can tell as time goes by that my husband and I are becoming unhealthy because of the excessive drinking (he is 37, I am 33). I feel dehydrated.. I have dry mouth alot.. crack on my tongue down the middle.. a white coating.. my ENT says I have some kind of growth on the base of my tongue and put me on heartburn medicine?? weird! My husband has many spider angiomas on his nose.. I have a couple.. He has them all over his chest.. I've noticed a couple more cherry angiomas on our bodies and I read those are from busted capillaries. Our blood pressure has been getting higher (prehypertension). Ofcourse we have had alot of stress this year (more than ever!) because he is out of work.. also other various stressful events. Both my husband and I drink around 4 days a week. He started drinking at 13 years of age.. I started drinking at 21 with a few years of not drinking in between then and now.
Yesterday I told myself and my husband that I am going to do my best to not drink at all this week but right now I want SO badly to go out to the fridge in our shop and crack open a cold one!!!!!! :( I don't know exactly why I'm posting this but maybe I want someone to talk me out of drinking a beer. I don't know if I can make it a whole week and that's not good!
ps. I had my bloodwork done a couple months ago and everything is functioning normally.. I had an ultrasound of my internals (liver, gall bladder, spleen, heart, etc) and the nurse said everything looked great! I had a hyda scan but unfortunately it looks like my gall bladder only functioning at 38%.. no gall stones... I guess I'm still healthy as far as that goes but I can tell there's something going on with our health and it's not good!! or maybe I'm becoming a hypocondriac?
I'm pretty certain I've developed or am developing dependancy on beer!!!! I like a shot of patron every now and then too but not often.. mainly beer!!! I LOVE BEER!! :( If I can't cut down I need to quit!!!! This is kinda funny too because I've spent many years complaining and depressed about my husband's drinking and now look at me!! I'm doing the same thing!! I started drinking again in the summer of 2009 after a year and a half of complete sobriety! Before that time I wasn't a real big drinker.. just occasionally.
Maybe I do have a question afterall.. thanks in advance for reading my post.. Could I try drinking one beer a day or should I try harder to go this week without any.. I was thinking of detoxing myself..
also, I spent a few hours all together reading through many of the posts on this forum. There are some really scary stories.. very young people diagnosed with cirrosis and other conditions from excessive drinking and such.
My great grandfather was an alcoholic, my mom told me. She said he was drunk one night and fell in a ditch. He developed pneumonia and died from it. Alcoholics run in my family and my husband's family. Reading these posts and hearing other stories helps strengthen my desire to quit all together.. even smoking..
I just don't want you all to think yall have wasted your time talking to me. I really appreciate your support! :)
My great grandfather was an alcoholic, my mom told me. She said he was drunk one night and fell in a ditch. He developed pneumonia and died from it. Alcoholics run in my family and my husband's family. Reading these posts and hearing other stories helps strengthen my desire to quit all together.. even smoking..
I just don't want you all to think yall have wasted your time talking to me. I really appreciate your support! :)
Punkinhead75, today I don't know which part is stronger. I'd give it a 50/50 today.. I feel like my mind is trying to tell me to try and cut down, that I should see if I can control it first, but I feel like it's a joke. My body is telling me NO! I can relate in a way to what you and your wife went through. I know about the arguments although ours hasn't got that bad (yet?). I hate to see anyone have marital problems and it's even extra sad when it's influenced by the means of alcohol and/or drugs (which that's funny to say because I think alcohol is one of the worst drugs we can get our hands on!). I'm thankful you and your wife were able to move past this and are staying strong. I didn't drink a drop yesterday and I hope today I don't drink. I don't plan on it. I spent yesterday working in the yard, mowing, pulling weeds, working in the garden, cleaning house, cooking, etc. This morning I woke up and I feel great! I want to continue this and I'm so thankful for everyone's advice so far on this forum! Yall are great!
ibizan, wow, 27 years is wonderful! Congradulations! I hope that you and others like you realize how inspirational you are to people like me! What yall are doing here on this forum is awesome! I used to talk to a lady on the phone from a local al anon center in this area about my husband's drinking. It looks like the next time I talk to her I'll have to tell her about me this time!! I never thought that I could become addicted to anything but cigarettes.. I've drank in my lifetime and I've done the recreational drug thing and never have felt like I "needed" them. I never had a hard time going without all that. Now is a different story with the alcohol. I wonder how long it's going to take me and how many mistakes I will make before I learn I am not invincible!? Hope you all have a nice day!
ibizan, wow, 27 years is wonderful! Congradulations! I hope that you and others like you realize how inspirational you are to people like me! What yall are doing here on this forum is awesome! I used to talk to a lady on the phone from a local al anon center in this area about my husband's drinking. It looks like the next time I talk to her I'll have to tell her about me this time!! I never thought that I could become addicted to anything but cigarettes.. I've drank in my lifetime and I've done the recreational drug thing and never have felt like I "needed" them. I never had a hard time going without all that. Now is a different story with the alcohol. I wonder how long it's going to take me and how many mistakes I will make before I learn I am not invincible!? Hope you all have a nice day!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh way cool...a vet in the family!so glad the animals are well cared for...NOW would be nice for you to start caring for urself!i've been sober/clean 27 years now.....i was a MISERABLE failure at controlled drinking and recreational drug using!It is a 100% committment to this....one hour at a time...one day at a time.Love the AA slogan Half hearted measures availed us nothing!
Which part is stronger?
Have you considered counseling, AA or maybe an Intensive outpatient program? I've been through it. I learned a lot about alcoholism and found some very supportive people. Amazingly supportive. I sometimes still get the urge, however the things I've learned to do help me stay on the right path.
My wife and I were drinking and druggn buddies. I refer to her as my exbartender. That's how we met. At the end of my drinking I had grown angry and full of rage. I could no longer control myself and her safety became an issue. I decided to leave. That was the last straw for her. She had a big breakdown. Threatened suicide in a drunken blackout. It took three troopers to get her into handcuffs and take her to the hospital.
We kind of had to go our separate ways in early recovery to focus on our own health. She went to rehab for a month or so and I went to IOP as well as AA mtgs. I would visit her and we worked through some stuff. We were able to forgive each other and work on our relationship.
I don't know if I could have stayed with her if she chose to keep using. I'm glad I didn't have to make that choice. I know today though that I must do what is necessary to maintain my sobriety. That doesn't necesarily mean leaving her. I've learned there are other options. I just have to be willing.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It doesn't get better only worse. It is up to us when we choose to get off the downward elevator. Good luck!!!
Have you considered counseling, AA or maybe an Intensive outpatient program? I've been through it. I learned a lot about alcoholism and found some very supportive people. Amazingly supportive. I sometimes still get the urge, however the things I've learned to do help me stay on the right path.
My wife and I were drinking and druggn buddies. I refer to her as my exbartender. That's how we met. At the end of my drinking I had grown angry and full of rage. I could no longer control myself and her safety became an issue. I decided to leave. That was the last straw for her. She had a big breakdown. Threatened suicide in a drunken blackout. It took three troopers to get her into handcuffs and take her to the hospital.
We kind of had to go our separate ways in early recovery to focus on our own health. She went to rehab for a month or so and I went to IOP as well as AA mtgs. I would visit her and we worked through some stuff. We were able to forgive each other and work on our relationship.
I don't know if I could have stayed with her if she chose to keep using. I'm glad I didn't have to make that choice. I know today though that I must do what is necessary to maintain my sobriety. That doesn't necesarily mean leaving her. I've learned there are other options. I just have to be willing.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It doesn't get better only worse. It is up to us when we choose to get off the downward elevator. Good luck!!!
Punkinhead75, part of me wants to stop and the other part doesn't want to. I also smoke and it's the same way with cigarettes! I went for a year and a half without drinking a drop of alcohol, trying to help my husband stop.. I remember feeling free and actually wanted to do alot of activities with my family.. stayed away from friends who partied, etc.. but one summer I ended up drinking one beer, then two and it just kept escalating until now I'm drinking like a fish alot of times and I think about drinking alot when I'm not actually drinking. That's why I feel there is a problem brewing.. I don't want to lose my husband and we're too young to be losing our health. Thank you for your advice!! Congradulations on your success with no longer drinking!! :)
ibizan, that's funny how that guy's cat stays away from him when he's drinking. I guess animals can sense the evil in alcohol (also, I for one am no fan of beer breathe.. yuck). My dogs don't stray like that but my cat does, whether I'm drinking or not, lol. He's "stuck up".. I think greyhounds are beautiful dogs!! We have a boxer and a little dog.. she's a mut.. someone dropped her and her 9 siblings and mother on the road and I rescued them.. she's been here a while now.. sweet dog and she herds the horses, so funny. Yes, our animals are well taken care of.. we have a vet in the family. We take care of everything we have.. we both work (when work is available). I assume we would be classified as functional alcoholics??
ibizan, that's funny how that guy's cat stays away from him when he's drinking. I guess animals can sense the evil in alcohol (also, I for one am no fan of beer breathe.. yuck). My dogs don't stray like that but my cat does, whether I'm drinking or not, lol. He's "stuck up".. I think greyhounds are beautiful dogs!! We have a boxer and a little dog.. she's a mut.. someone dropped her and her 9 siblings and mother on the road and I rescued them.. she's been here a while now.. sweet dog and she herds the horses, so funny. Yes, our animals are well taken care of.. we have a vet in the family. We take care of everything we have.. we both work (when work is available). I assume we would be classified as functional alcoholics??
COMMUNITY LEADER
My cyberecoveryfriends have given u good advice here......glad no kids around for this adversely affects them...i am big animal lover meself.....2 retired greyhounds and 3 cats....are u able to give ur animals the care they need?u know they can SMELL the alcohol on u... they know by smell things aren't right!i know a guy who told me when he is on a drinking bender his beloved cat will NOT come near him.....stares at him from across the room...when he is not drinking the cat is in his lap!
Sounds like decision time is getting near. I remember having to ask myself "do I really want to stop?" and "what am I willing to do to get sober?" These weren't' easy questions. The answers seemed to change depending on how much alcohol was in my system.
Please know that you aren't alone and there are lots of folks in here with plenty of experience and are willing to help. Getting cleaned up has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. My health has greatly improved and I am better able to enjoy family and friends. There are many benefits to being sober. Best of luck to you and your husband.
Please know that you aren't alone and there are lots of folks in here with plenty of experience and are willing to help. Getting cleaned up has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. My health has greatly improved and I am better able to enjoy family and friends. There are many benefits to being sober. Best of luck to you and your husband.
Yeah, you're right.. I appreciate your time and advice.. I can say I know that it's only while drinking that I feel okay about it.. it's the next morning or whenever I'm sobered up when I feel like a dum@$$ and worthless.. it's never worth it.. and it is controlling me.. I know that's why I'm becoming a hermit.. sickens me that I've went this far.
Your story sounds all to familiar, arguments, blackouts and tolerance (that not to buzzed feeling, drinking more and still not getting a kick from it) and isolating are all things I can identify with.
You need to stop analysing the why you drink and begin accepting that you don't control your drinking any more, it controls you. As you put it "one didn't cut it" one is never enough......
You need to stop analysing the why you drink and begin accepting that you don't control your drinking any more, it controls you. As you put it "one didn't cut it" one is never enough......
Thank you both for the replies.. so do any of the symptoms I mentioned sound familiar to either of yall as a side effect from drinking?
ibizan, no we don't have any children (except 2 dogs, a cat and several horses ;) lol.. but I have noticed that my neices, little sister, mother, inlaws (uugh) and others have noticed a change in me.. mainly because they don't see me much anymore.. I'm a hermit now more or less.. can't go out drinking due to the risks so just set at home and am pretty much wilting away I guess.. that's the way it seems. Maybe I'm depressed.. this is not me.. I also have a story as to how I ended up this way.. as to why I picked up drinking again and I think I started out using it as a crutch but now I think it's becoming or is an addiction.
btw, yall are both right.. I ended up drinking several beers 2nite.. one didn't cut it.. probably around 8 beers I'm guessing.. kept saying "one more won't hurt".. not too buzzed but ready for bed and feeling more relaxed.. it's 3am.. I never stay up this late until lately.. I think I do need some help.. I really appreciate yall's replies.. hope to talk some more soon. This is a nice forum.. glad I found it.
ibizan, no we don't have any children (except 2 dogs, a cat and several horses ;) lol.. but I have noticed that my neices, little sister, mother, inlaws (uugh) and others have noticed a change in me.. mainly because they don't see me much anymore.. I'm a hermit now more or less.. can't go out drinking due to the risks so just set at home and am pretty much wilting away I guess.. that's the way it seems. Maybe I'm depressed.. this is not me.. I also have a story as to how I ended up this way.. as to why I picked up drinking again and I think I started out using it as a crutch but now I think it's becoming or is an addiction.
btw, yall are both right.. I ended up drinking several beers 2nite.. one didn't cut it.. probably around 8 beers I'm guessing.. kept saying "one more won't hurt".. not too buzzed but ready for bed and feeling more relaxed.. it's 3am.. I never stay up this late until lately.. I think I do need some help.. I really appreciate yall's replies.. hope to talk some more soon. This is a nice forum.. glad I found it.
I am 100% in agreement with ibizan. Your health is suffering because of your drinking, things can and will get worse if you dont stop, No half measures, you need to stop not cut down.
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