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220476 tn?1212722950
I'm doing it! CT off alcohol
I have been drinking about a magnum of wine(red or white) plus a few vodka drinks a day.  Or, I have about a fifth of vodka a day.  It's the first thing I thnk about in the morning instead of coffee!!!!!!  Any suggestions?  I really need to do this privately.
Thanks.

Charlie
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a very young 52!one year younger than u old grey haired man!i get mine religously covered every 4 weeks.
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I'm glad you read that, just checking!  hee..
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220476 tn?1212722950
Hi Guys!  Day two sober.  I'm feeling ok.  Today I was in a great mood.  Now I'm so tired.  I looked up aa meetings online for today and decided to go to a 7pm meeting at a local church.  My husband is tied up in traffic so I won't make aa today.  I'm shooting for thurs.  
I don't really know what to do with myself right now.  I'm just taking care of the kids.  This is the hard time of night for me.  I'm bored and my patience is running thin with the kids.  They are a real handful.
I'm not giving in.  No liquor in the house.  I'm proud of myself for making day two.  
Hope you doing well.

Charlie
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dark-not much gets by me!charlie...good goin girl!do u like to read?got some good dvd's?when do kids go 2 bed?find something to occupy mind......warm baths,relaxing music.....c'mon brainstorm with me!
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I was wondering, and good news about day 2 ; I was worried.  The kids are a handful, no doubt, but we all havel face reality and come down off the beast.  Besides, you don't want to feel gross tomorrow morning.  It's good you aren't giving in and knpw it's hard, especially the first few days....tigrai  = 16 days, dark = 15 days.  If you're bored write here, get a book, go to a meeting; occupy you mind somehow.  You'll make it, I know!  It's getting easier for me, I just don't want the depression anymore after the hang-over.  My body is more at ease, life in general isn't such a struggle and I'm not all hyped-out.

Good work Charie!

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220476 tn?1212722950
The boys are down.  Finally!!!  I'm doing ok.  I will most likely go to bed very early.  It doesn't help that I'm on a strict diet.  I'm trying to loose weight.  My stomach is so fat, only my stomach.  It's bloated out.  I look like I did in the early months of pregnancy.  I guess this is from the alcohol?
Is it true that alcohol turns into sugar when processed in the body?  Maybe my sugar is low.  
I just feel blaahhhh.....  Not social, not in a good mood, edgy, tense, anxious, remorseful and fat.  Yuck...  I'm hoping I'll wake tomorrow with a better attitude.  
Thanks for being here for me.

Charlie
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Read this:
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art29977.asp

Yes, lots of calories and sugar to process every time we drink.  I've actually lost weight and feel a whole lot better for that and mentally a lot happier.  My stomach was growing the last few years, I didn't like it!  Yes, go to bed early, this is a life style change!  Your blah attitude will change!
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what strict diet?are u starving urself?not eating right to lose weight?a bloated tummy could also mean liver damage...or pancreatic damage as well. u need to get to md asap get physical and have bloodwork done to check liver enzymes and such.this is not a good time to go on a strict diet.ur already trying to quit one thing and strictness with the food is not goodNot sayin go hogwild with it either!.u do need good nutrition and balanced meals ?u give this 2 ur boys right?u need to give this 2 urself as well.So when is docs appt?
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220476 tn?1212722950
Hi.  Day three feeling good.  The diet I'm not is very healthy.  It's good carbs and fresh fish, chicken, salad, oatmeal.  I've done it before and it's worked.  I have been putting it off because you can't drink on it or it's pointless.
I thought my belly was bloated because I stopped working out a couple of months ago and I do have a baby.  Plus it's fat right now.  How would you know if you have issues with liver or pancreas without blood work.  Any other symptoms.  I will make an appt just to be sure.


Charlie
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hey that sound like good diet!how old is youngest baby?babyfat belly is normal!only bloodwork can pick up the enzymes in liver/ pancreas problems.otherwise people get yellowed corneas-eyes and tender painful abdomen.day three-alcohol free..keep goin girl!yes make appt asap!still goin 2 AA morrow nite?
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Blood work really shows about everything; I test at least 3X a years for reasons other than liver functioning.  Highly recommended.

C - Just get off the booze, the diet can be a gradual lif-long disipline.  You don't want to be overwhelmed.
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220476 tn?1212722950
Just got back from getting my older son from preschool.  He had a great day.  He has an OT shadow with him full time.  We are eating lunch.  Pizza for the boys and salad with chicken for me.  The diet is healthy but very strict.  It's hard.  I have a bit of a headache but still doing well.  Day three.  Yeaa......Yes, tomorrow is aa.
My baby just turned one.  The weight comes off much slower with the second baby.  I want to loose 15lbs.  That will bring me back down to a size 6.
I had blood work done in May and all was good.  
I will get it rechecked now that I'm alcohol free.  My lower belly is tender.  Not under my rib cage where the liver is.  Is this a sign?  

Charlie
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wow u got ur hands full..3 yr.old and 1 yr.old!re belly possible...but only bloodwork will show whats really going on.Drinking lots of water?15 lbs.is not a lot of weight...some women get real BIG...just go easy on self and keep sober.thats what really matters!if we stay as healthy as dark...we'll grow OLD and stay healthy like him!:)))))))
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I - Yes, water multiple times daily.

C -  If your lower belly is tender, just wait a few days, you should be fine.  Any kind of liver problem usually doesn't have pain initially, according to what I have read.  OF course there can be and will be symptoms.  Read the articles left of this thread and get more education.  You're doing fine.  Quitting at your age never occurred to me, you're way a head of me; don't wanta go longer like myself.
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220476 tn?1212722950
It's 3pm.  This diet is driving me nuts.  Oh well.  When I set my mind to something I do it.  I'm trying to drink lots of water.  I'm really cold.  Maybe I'll make some hot tea.  I think the whole bread thing is giving me the chills.  I guess it could be WD too.  Plus I have a headache.  
D-it seems like you are really taking good care of yourself these days.  The gym is great.  When I didn't work out I drank more.  I haven't been for two months.  I start back with my trainer on Monday.  It keeps me on track, someone to answer to.  She says that everyone that comes in there that drinks has a big midsection and it's the last fat to go.  
I guess I'll become obsessed with health and kids.  This will keep me busy.

Charlie
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HI I have been sober for 4 months. I went to AA meetings. I think you should also find a new hobby or get into something else besides being only into recovery. I think this helps to take the edge off, because in meetings, you are dealing with sick people basically. There will be a person who pisses you off, someone called it judgementalism, which it is, but it is difficult for the newcomer to deal with nonthe less alot of the BS that does go on.

Also I reccomend only going to Big book meetings. For me anyway, some of the sharing is not that helpful, altho some is.

I feel that you need a lot of luck with AA, as with anything I guess.

For me, after about a month I knew that I had licked this thing. My harder problem is with MJ, this i do in a very small amount, one or 2 hits, but I have stopped MJ for 38 days now.

I do alot more reading than I used to, I try to do less TV, more exercise. TV I find feeds my resentments.
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about the religion thing, it stems from their belief that you can't quit and stay sober indefinetly without the help of your higher power, which is not dogmatic at all. it can be whatever you choose it to be.

The part of your world that smiles upon and bring you good times, nature, whatever. just to support the fact that our lives are unmanageable with respect to booze, that we cannot control the drinking.

For example, I thought I could have just one or 2 drinks, and I was able to until evey SUnday when I had a couple of bottles of wine, some whiskey and all the rest.

But I cannot go back and try to control the drinking, but on the other hand I agree that with the tools of AA and the help of my higher power, I can. And also, the idea is, to have  alife that is more than just not drinking, this means to unravel the issues and problems that support the uncontrolled drinking in the first place. The need for help from a higher power is obvious to me there as well.

But if you dont agree about this, you should def. go to AA anyway and get the real picture from them and see if it suits you.
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220476 tn?1212722950
Thanks for your post.  Congrats on sobriety.  I am trying aa tommorrow night, I'll look for the big book session.  
After your sober do you think that most people will attempt to have one or two glasses of wine on a special occasion like Thanksgiving.  Or, just one glass a week out to dinner?   For some reason I think I could do that.  Never have any in the house and only drink with hubby who is watching closely.  It's tempting.  
I'm on day three and feel good.  I've been reading a lot of posts here that say that after the first few days WD gets ugly.  Did this happen to you or anyone you know?  It's kind of scary.
I'm sure there are so many things that I could get involved with.  I was in hiding before and now I can free myself.  

Charlie
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I've always worked out at the gym and ate a healthy diet all my life.  That's not my issue or point; I'm not drinking after almost 17 days and continuing on this path.  I feel great; the beer drinking was the culprit for my depression, no doubt.  I happier and not such a ******* at work and home.  The booze isn't working for me at this stage of my life.  I'm quitting while I'm ahead and not reacting to a situation.  It's taken me years to figure this whole thing out.  In fact I never about quitting.

On the other hand I'm not getting down on the folks here who have DUI's or major league health problems because of the drinking.  I'm here to support everyone.  This isn't easy for me 'mentally' and a BIG life style change.  It's just time to leave it alone.

I'm going to have to say a big NO regarding one or two glasses of wine for a special occasion.  That could be enough to get me drinking again.  Serious stuff.  There's plenty people out there that don't drink and remember that's perfectly acceptable more than ever!  Alcohol doesn't exactly have a good name for itself anymore.

Charlie -  you're doing fine for day 3, you can't give in and feel GROSS tomorrow hung-over.  Go to AA, I went tonight for the 2nd time, it helps!
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shomneg-AA-take what u can use and leave the rest..includes annoying folks u'll find at 12 Step...thats where the saying principles over personalities comes in!its being around folks that have same prob as us...and same goal....sobriety is key.Yes to rekindling /developing outside interests!Charlie- ur nuts!thinking u can have just ONE glass?get out ur baseball bat and clonk the BEAST upside the head!good ur gonna b-gin xercise again...that so helps with the **** resing tween our 2 ears.Dark- saying good things....can't agree with him more on his commnets!
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220476 tn?1212722950
Hey.  I'm on day four!!!!!  Thanks for the extra push.  I'm not giving in at all.  Tomorrow night I'm going out to dinner with my husband.   It's tempting to just get a glass of wine.  I'm not going to though.  It makes me feel like I've accomplished something being sober and I would feel guilty.  Not worth it.  Tonight I head to aa.  First time.

Charlie
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Girl - I'm totally impressed!  Keep up the good work and don't want to feel gross; do you?

Your kid is so cute in profile, you need to be around for your children!  Let us know about the meeting.  Good news about the proactive you.  NO to the glass of wine.  **** that ****!

The God dude was at my meeting again last night, but I let it go.  It's a hard pill to swallow, but works for him.  Don't let that discourage you, but if you're religious or something that shouldn't be an issue.  Your friend dark.
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like i sed dude...take what u can use and leave the rest..leave the rest......delete that stuff u cannot use.ur using what u can and it shows!
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Yes, and thanks...your friend dark.

Charlie  -  How's it??
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220476 tn?1212722950
Still hanging in there..  Day four looking forward to day five.  I already look more rested, no puffy eyes.  Yeah my little one is adorable.  They are my motivation.  I want to be a better mom and wife.  Off to AA.  I'll let you know how it is when I'm back.

Charlie
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"Girl - I'm totally impressed! "... keep it going!  Of course your body is well rested.  It's a healthier life style and can see you already appreciate your family more.  Kids are a goodfor motivation!  Have fun!
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Charlie;s Girl. the thing is about controlling it, I don't beleive that I can. I know that if I have the one drink, I will progress it. Therefore, It is much easier to control it, by giving up. You win, booze.

Thinking you can have moderate booze will not work for me. I am not even going to try.

So all I know, is that it sounds to me like you were  a heavy drinker, out of control. It seems to me that you won't be able to moderate it. You can certainly try, if you want to, but my limited exp. tells me that you won't be able to, because it is a disease, an insidious disease.

At any rate, I would advise to have 30 or 90 days clean and then see how you feel about it.

I have found that it does get easier over time.

Keep coming back!

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I concur 'shomneg' as I stated before.  Not many of us can handle 1 or 2 glasses of wine at dinner, because most here are volume drinkers and not satisfied until we're passed out on the floor.  Sometimes I can moderate and do, but I'm disappointed I can't have more if I'm restricted for reasons of driving etc.  I always prefer to have more and that's a problem' I seem to get lost once I start.

Yes, just give up and quit chasing it.  It's nice I don't have to buy the **** anymore too!
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if ya hafta go to gre8t lengths to prove 2 urself u can/will control...then ur outta control!i had to retire from the game.....was a miserable failure at social/controlled drinking and recreational drug use!!!!
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ibizan  -  There's just no way I can realistically be a social drinker NOW; the thing is I've always been anti-social once I start.  Not always, but a good portion of the time... retired is the only thing to do.

Charlie - You still with us girl?


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220476 tn?1212722950
Sorry I didn't get back to you guys last night.  Grey's anatomy was on and I love that show.  I was watching with hubby.  I did go to aa.  It was good.  Coffee, nice people, stories, twelve step review.  I sat in the back.  I felt very weird at first but just tried to keep to myself.  I met some nice people and I think I will return.  Oh, one man was very religious but that's his thing.
You are all right about trying to have just one glass.  I was a heavy drinker and I'm not even going to try.  I'm on day five and I'm so proud of myself.  I feel better, my belly is going down, waking up in a good mood with more energy.  I haven't had any physical WD.  Maybe the first few days a little weak and bored but now I feel just fine.  Plus headaches.  This may be from giving up bread though.
I didn't tell my husband that I went to AA until I got back.  He was very impressed.  I don't think he realized how serious I was until I told him.  Alcohol runs in both sides of my family and I don't want to be like that.  Dark, you are right it's not cool to drink.  I will be proud to say I don't drink.  It's not necessary.  I feel just fine without it.  It had gotten to the point where it wasn't even doing anything for me anymore.  I would drink so much and not even feel the buzz, not at all.  SO, what's the point, right?
I'm going out to dinner tonight so this will be a challenge.  I'm determined.  I'm not even going to have one glass of red wine.  I know myself and I will feel guilty.  Staying sober is doing wonders for my self esteem and my health.  I already feel less depressed and more social.  My older son is at preschool right now and my baby is napping.  In the past I would be drinking by now.  Instead I'm going to the mall to get my son walking shoes.  Life is getting better.  
ibizan.  I thank you so much for pushing me to just do it.  The scare tactic works.  This forum is a huge support for me.  It's wonderful that we all have internet now so we can turn to someone at anytime.  
Keep me posted Dark, my friend.

Charlie
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Good work and thanks for checking in!

I've heard good things about Grey's anatomy; have not watched; probably too late.  Yeah, the people at AA are nice, the stories OK, but I have to say they have fun and focused on the business at hand - to stay sober.  And whatever it takes!  Charlie, I'm proud of you!  

We're all heavy hardcore booze hounds that can't handle moderation or the meaning of, lets face it.  I'm very proud of you; for a while I didn't think you actually we're going to commit yourself.  Yep, no headaches and refreshed in the morning; the belly will get smaller - your brain will start coming out of a fog.  Me day 18 and no way turning back!

I'm sure your husband was very impressed with 'the new you; let's face it…. it's the right thing to do in our cases.  Your relationships will improve with family and friends.  "Proud to say you don't drink"… those are indeed powerful impressive words!

Yes, wonders fot improving self-esteem and health, no doubt!   In my case the depression is gone, which is incredible.  I'd be hung-over the first day, them depressed for 3 days after. And all for a few hours of buzz??

Good - keep it busy, go to the mall and stay on the right path with me!  Yes, the internet is a great tool for communication.  Have a good day Charlie grl!

Your friend, dark
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good goin girl..proud of u.....those weren't scare tactics i was using...just plain old reality of what this disease is like....been there hon.....was quite the liquor drinker like u!keep it goin....we're all b-hind u!
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220476 tn?1212722950
Hi.  I had dinner with my hubby tonight.  It was wonderful.  I have to admit that I did have one glass of red wine and sipped on it slowly throughout the meal.  It was perfect.  I still have no desire to get up tomorrow and get alcohol at all.  If I can do this only when I go out to dinner or on special holidays, I will be just fine.  I'm home, I'm not wanting more.  I'm content.  
My husband and I talked about it and he agrees that one glass is fine only when we are out to dinner.  Once a week.  This sounds normal to me.  I'm the type of person that if I know I need to change then I just do it.  We don't go to clubs or bars.  We just dine out once a week.  
I'm sorry if you are disappointed in me but I'm not the type of person to lie about things.  I would feel terrible posting here and saying that I didn't have one glass.  
I was never a drinker at all until I had my first child.  Then it was a crutch, I was lonely.  I left my job to stay at home with my children and alcohol was my new best friend.  I'm not scared of loosing this friend.  I'm over the drink, but one glass is enjoyable.  I didn't get buzzed, just enjoyed the flavor.  I love to taste different types and learn about where they came from.  
You have helped me come out of a deep depression.  In the past year we learned that my oldest was on the autism spectrum and I wanted to numb myself from the pain.  Now I am seeing clearly and I am done feeling sorry for myself.  
I hope that you respect my honestly and don't hold this against me.  Tomorrow is a new day and my next date out is next Sat. night.  I will be sober in between.  
I need your support for that.  I will be looking forward to hearing from you.

Charlie
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oh girl ur playing with fire!Sigh!i c many try to do what ur doing with the JUST ONE.........but it will set the BEAST on fire!well i am concerned about ur research project......but alcoholics just can't have just one!Guess u hafta find out for uself!I do respect honesty...and u know we r here 4 u!
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220476 tn?1212722950
Hi Guys.  Day six and day one all at once.  I guess today starts a new day.  I never thought it would be this hard to completly obstain.  I was not capable of doing it and it was only day five.  At least I only had one glass of wine.  Maybe by next Sat. night, my next dinner date, I will have more will power.
I am trying hard I want you to know that.  We are home for the rest of the weekend so it should make it easier for me.  
Keep me posted
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Charlie - I love you candor and honesty and would feel guilty lying on the forum.. Me too!
I have to agree with 'ibizan' on this one; you're playing with fire knowing of your past.  And if I had one glass, then it would be 2,3 and so on; not always, but the potential is there.  Then I would lose all interest in the meal itself and get drunk perhaps.  To me, alcohol and food never made any sense.  I like one other the other.  We are alcoholics and total abstinence is probably the answer.  Don't worry about what you said, I rather have folks here honest and wouldn't look at it as failing.  You doing fine and AWARE of the situation; that's the main thing. -dark
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one glass of wine for me ended up in getting the magnum!this is what alcoholism is like to me and the many lessons we hafta learn in life.At end of Wizard of Oz dorothy sez snottily to good witch Glenda "u knew i knew how 2 get back 2 kansas whole time-why didn't u tell me?Glenda laffs and replies"Cuz u never woulda b-lieved me..u had 2 find out 4 urself"Bingo charlie...and bingo glenda....this is how we learn the hard lessons we hafta in life..i do think!
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Wizard of Oz and that Dorothy (Judy garland) was the biggest boozer in real life; off topic or kind of...  later in life alcohol and medication abuse caught up with her apparently. She forgot the lyrics to songs with slurred her speech while performing.  Found dead at 47, in bathroom, "ten 1.5-grain Seconal capsules".  sad story..  

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oh yes tragic life and death by drowning in alcohol for Judy...good movie A Star is Born done by her with alleged story of actress just like her who dies of alcoholism...she was playing herself!Awesome flick done what year dark?help me here...Lee Remick and Jack Lemmon bout 2 married alcoholics...Days of Wine and Roses...landmark flick real progressive for its time....1958?
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220476 tn?1212722950
Just checkin in guys.  How is everyone?  I'm still doing great.  I've been out all day with the boys.  If you think of the name of that movie will rent it.  I could use a time killer.  Oh, you were right about the sweet cravings.  I went out last night at 9pm to get a sundae and I never eat sweets.  So much for my strict diet.  I've been good today though.  No sweets, all salad.  That ice cream with hot fudge was really really yummy....

Charlie
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What's going on?  Still on the clean bandwagon; more AA meetings -- committed staying sober or?
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220476 tn?1212722950
Still doing well.  Staying sober and feeling pretty good.  I do feel anxious more now though.  I'm guessing this is WD symptoms.  That feeling of being on edge.  Kind of in a bad mood.  I'm hoping this will pass soon.  It's driving me nuts.  The cravings are unreal too...  
How are you?  

Charlie
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when is that doctors appt u made??????Campral?the capital C is for cravings!
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I thought C stands for Comprehend, Charlie Cravings?
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right on dark,right on!!!!!
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220476 tn?1212722950
I hear you!!  I really don't want to go on any meds right now.  I'm just going to tough it out.  It's been rough but I'm doing great.  

Charlie
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sweets ur such a oxymoron girl....ur doin great but its rough?tough it out?ur fooling no one but urself and so unecessary 2 put urself thru all this...but its ur choice!SIGH!
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220476 tn?1212722950
I thank you for your support but I do wish you would be more emotionally supportive.  
Dark, hope you still hanging in there.  I know how hard it is and I've been thinking about you.  You are inspiring me.. Keep up the good work.

Charlie
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i have been very supportive to you girl,u know that...alcoholics don't get better by coddling them....and i don't feel guilty with what i say to u!No one coddled me..like my dad once said u have to do something or get off the commode!U don't like what i'm saying 2 u cuz its making u think!well thats the WHOLE point of this!if u keep doing what ur doing u'll get what u get!theres a saying in AA....a simple program for people who complicate it!
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