Is it my liver or is it in my head?

A little history about myself. I am 31 and have been a recovering alcoholic of two years. I used to drink heavily every evening (1/2 to 1 and1/2 bottle of wine) for three years. Before that I would still drink a few times a week but not daily. Two years ago while still drinking heavily I became pregnant and had to quit drinking overnight. I had some withdrawal symptoms but nothing serious. I was so scared to go see my doctor since I knew that they would do prenatal blood tests. The doctor ordered a routine CBC and urine analysis which both came back normal. I was feeling fine during the pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby at full term. After that my problems started. I got very depressed and started researching online about alcohol and the affect on the body. I talked to my doctor about possible liver disease but never told him how much I used to drink. He ordered a liver function test and hep panel which both came back normal. A few weeks after that I started to develop ruq pain, so my doctor ordered an ultrasound which was also normal. A month later I developed diverticulitis and had to have an abdominal cat scan done which showed no liver disease. In the meanwhile I had a few more lft's which were all normal. The only symptoms I have are a few tiny spider angiomas and my doctor says that those are pregnancy related. Also some ruq pain which I was prescribed Nexium for and it seemed to help. I have convinced myself that I have alcoholic liver disease and want to get a biopsy done but the gastro said he wouldn't do it. I know all of this is due to my past drinking and I feel terrible. I can't even enjoy my child. I know that the only definitive way to diagnose alcoholic liver disease is a biopsy but I also know that somewhere inside me there is something that says, if I get a clean bill of health then I can drink again. Is it possible to have serious liver damage with a normal ultrasound, cat scan and blood tests? Is it possible to carry a child to full term with liver damage? I haven't had a drink in two years but I know all of these symptoms (especially the depression) that I am experiencing now are caused by my heavy drinking. I told my doctor that I need help but he thinks it is all in my head and diagnosed me with anxiety but he doesn't understand the reasons for all of this.
Thank you for any input.

[KjFlicka]

I hear your concern (and mine was realized more than a year ago also just from wine) about permanent damage. It's great that everything is normal. And pregancy can totally 'flare up' an already imperfect liver. I don't want to say you're fine because I don't want you to start drinking again :-) but you probably are fine... at least for now. As I'm sure it sounds like you already know, liver disease can be really silent. Here's what I think. I think you know your body. I think your liver is probably going to be ok, HOWEVER you could easily be at the invisible line where starting to drink again will push your liver into a bad spin. So, for your sobriety's sake and really what it might be anyway, count your blessings that you stopped already and know that even one more glass of wine could make the difference in you getting sick.

I was exactly your age when I had my first and only child, I had no problem not drinking during the pregnancy, but started drinking heavily not long after. Not a wise choice. After only 4 years, I had all the bad symptoms (jaundice, ascites, fatigue, etc.) and that was it.  Everyone says it usually takes like 10 years of heavy alcohol to 'achieve' cirrhosis, so I think maybe something (pregnancy?) made me more vulnerable. Anyhoo, he's 6 now and I'm remarried and everything is peachy and sober and wonderful. Take care!

[boogieman]

hi. the absence of anomalies indicates a very low probability, but if it will ease your mind by all means have it done. you sound like you need to be treating your psych symptoms as well which may reqiure meds, therapy or both. best of luck,  gm

[Sam200819]

Thank you both for your replies. I told my doctor that I need some help and that I feel like going "crazy" but he doesn't think that I "truly" have a problem so he didn't prescribed me with anything just made the anxiety diagnosis. I probably have to start seeing someone else. Oh, he also was the one saying that a glass or two would benefit me. Of course I was never really honest with him with how much I used to drink. He knows I drank but not how much.
KjFlicka, I read your story and it made me very sad. I am glad that you are doing better now and can enjoy life again. I also have a six year old daughter and my drinking (weekly) probably started a year after her birth and progressively got worse with each year. My husband was often gone due to his job and never really noticed any of this. I think the best thing that happened to me was my second child because otherwise I would be still drinking. I think I read on one of your posts that you had a biopsy done via endoscopy? Is that right? My gastro said he would perform a scope next for the pain that I have been experiencing in my abdomen. Perhaps I can ask him to do a biopsy of the liver as well? I had never heard of this before.
Boogieman, have you had a biopsy done before? Is it painful or risky? Also after reviewing the copies of blood results I noticed that my ALT level is always low 12 (normal range says 14-54) and I read somewhere that this also indicates liver problems. Can billirubin levels fluctuate? One reading said 0.8 and two month later 0.5. Thank you.

[boogieman]

hi. i've never had one (yet) but it is usually a very simple outpatient procedure. they should use a local anesthetic, and they generally don't need much tissue. as far as enzyme levels and such, they can indicate various conditions, but alone they are difficult to interpret their cause. the liver (fortunately for us) will regenerate healthy tissue if it has not been too badly damaged, so catching problems early is a plus. good luck.  gm