Is it normal to have random blackouts and memory loss?

I've had a confusing day. I got very drunk earlier, I had some sort of panic attack which I don't remember.  I had a rest.  Such large chunk of my day has been lossed in my memory.  I also binged on a take away which I don't recall.  I am scared.  I have an eating disorder therefore I feel fat and generally negative.  I am so frighted that I won't be able to stop drinking and am drinking a heck of a lot.  I am concerned about all the blackouts and memory loss especially as they are occuring at various times.  This is not normal surely?  Please comfort me.  Beanie

[rod44]

Hi Beanie :)
There is nothing normal in having a blackout. I am just wondering how you know you got a panic attack, binged on food if you dont remember?

How often do you get blackouts, how often do you drink and how much?
How is your drinking impacting on your everyday life.

Do you think you have a problem with your drinking or with stopping?

[ibizan]

what u describe is not normal!my friend Rod is asking u good questions and i hope u answer them honestly!

[Beanie0]

Thank you for your replies. My partner fills in the gaps for me.  I could answer the questions honestly.  Everything is such a mess.  Fear, I think might hold me back from really working and surviving through, but I do have a lot of determination which I hope gives me hope.  I have just got to find the courage somehow.  At the moment along with feeling ashamed and guilty,  I am feeling very childlike and fearful.  Beanie

[rod44]

Irrational fear is something I suffered when I was drinking as was shame, paranoia, low Self-esteem and self pity.
Before you get honest with others you need to get hones with yourself. I think it is your time to get honest. If you are drinking to where you are blacking out then you have a problem, you need to stop and you need to stop under medical supervision as withdraws can be dangerous. You can hide or you can face your fears, when you face your fears then you can start to get well.