I spent most of my life using alcohol and was fortunate to stay out of most trouble, until the very end(April 2001). Prior to that I drank daily to relieve my stress and anxiety, which it seemed to help. I was hospitalized several times for alcoholism and when I got out I went right back to drinking. Only after I was hospitalized in April 2001 and spent 6 months there, did I come to realize that I had been self-medicating myself all those years and what my real problem was was a series of mental disorders to include bipolar I, anxiety disorder, panic attacks and PTSD. Since then I haven't had a drink, although at times I did have the urge. Those urges most often occured when I didn't think my other medications. I have an addictive personality so even with medications I have to be aware of maintaining a strict regimen with my medications. I know it's difficult to have hope when so many things around us seem to be bad, but given time, the right treatment and a positive attitude your life can be turned around. I hope you the best in your future endeavors and I'm confident that you can get back a feeling of success and positive self esteem. Good Luck!
Michael
hi. just read the preceding posts-what caught my attention was the first two sentences in your original post. you just told my story in those lines. the booze took away all those problems for me, and i fell in love with it. this went on from age 12 until 9 months ago with some few and far between periods of being sober. last summer i went thru yet another rehab, 6 hospital admissions, involuntary commitment to a psych ward, and for the first time understood what the doctors were saying when they told me i would die if i continued to drink. i can't tell you what to do, but i can relate what has been helpful for me. i too was on a heavy dose of seroquel and a couple other meds to curb my anxiety and psychotic symptoms, i didn't like it, but i like things such as valium and xanax as much as alcohol so those were ruled out. i'm now also on campral, effexor, risperdal, and trazodone.
but meds aren't the solution to my problems, only the symptoms.
turns out many of us aren't supposed to feel the way we do, but the causes are much deeper. don't get me wrong, the meds are beneficial. but they do the same thing that flu medications do, attack the symptoms until the root cause can be mitigated. at least for myself and many others i know who've had similar experiences.
the most important thing i've found to be crucial in my recovery has been trying to have an open mind to change and the ability to discard (temporarily at least) my preconceived ideas of the mechanisms of life. some of the resources i use are 1 on 1 therapy, sites like this, and aa. there is something cathartic about dealing with adversity in the company of others with similar problems.
these things take time, but i've experienced firsthand how these resources have helped in temporal things such as legal and financial issues as well as life enhancing changes in perception. give yourself a break and reach out. the help is out there. best of luck, gm
whats a scram bracelet? I already have a bracelet on my ankle for home confinement. I'm in WV. I'm going to do my best to quit. Problem is I guess I don't want to bad enough or haven't hit bottom, feels like it though. I have a bach. degree in Bus. Man. from a university. Last year I reported 178k to the irs on my construction business. The judge said I have to work for someone else for home confinement. Now I have sold my vehicles, lost my business (but not the debt), lost my girlfriend cause who wants to not go out for 6 mos., work a crappy job, I'm telling you I'm about to bust. I really don't feel that I deserve all this from drinking. I wasn't even high went I was pulled over for a burnt out headlight, .100 which as you know isn't much for someone who drinks a 1/5 almost everyday. I was in the wrong town at the wrong time. Anyway I wish they would do everyone a favour and just quit selling the stuff. If nothing else especially in every restaurant! You know why people drink. Ok I'm starting to feel a little better after venting. Sorry I sound like a nut, well I really am getting there. I have to set alone about 3-4 days a week with 3 tv channels and absolutely no-one to talk to. I was always out doing something before this, only time I was home was to drink or sleep. I just pray I can get through this without making it much much worse than it is. When I'm done I think I'll have a couple burittos in Mexico!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thanks for letting me vent
I know all to well how you feel about the legal system, especially jail. Unfortunately what they claim as rehabilitation is a far cry from what most people really need. When people do things like that dude did that just reinforces their belief that all offenders are losers. Not the case at all. I myself am also on house arrest and am fighting my own battles w/the system. If U read my posts u'll get some idea of what I'm tlking about. Your first step of reaching out to this site is a great one and I believe will help you a lot. It's like having ur own personal AA meeting. You need to rise above the **** you've been dealt and try to make the best 4 urself out of a bad situation. It can be done. Take the initiative just like you did by getting on here, and research into a solution that U know will wk 4 U. Care about yourself and contact your PO, lawyer, social worker whatever and express to them your desire to seek a better treatment for yourself as an alternative to jail. You've got to be the 1 to do it cuz from my experience you are just a # and $ figure, they don't really care or want to deal with anyone any more than they have to. Make yourself heard and put the ball in their court so to speak. Help is available but they won't let U in on it if you don't speak-Shout up about it. You don't say where you are from or much about yourself, I'm curious as to what State U R in. Whatever U do...DON'T let them put one of these scram bracelet on you!!!! Keep me posted. (P.S. #1 first step and U may not want to hear it But= you need to stop drinking for urself and in order to be taken seriously OK?)
thanks however for your reply, I'll look into that
Not sure, seems like I always been getting a raw deal for about 2 years now. Jail is hard for me to get out of because its full of very ignorant people which I don't care for. Last time I was in a dude got our tv privlages taken away for snorting sugar off the table, little things like that I have a hard time with. I've gotten much worse since my so-called "rehabilitation" through the system, just wish they'd get off my back about alcohol. To this day I've never hurt anyone but myself drinking and everything thats going on right now is cause they say no more legal drinking. This all started with a burnt headlight, which led to lies on their side from a young punk officer, which led to a driving on suspended, "sober" because my girlfriend at the time couldn't handle a manual shift over a long mountain.................blah blah, anyway
I take it from your post that u r facing another round of jail time. I don't think that wll help U..Is there any way that you can perhaps be sentenced to a treatment program in a facility near you? One that your judge or attorney or whomever can reccomend and they approve of. That would be a much better enviroment for you considering all your feelings and your dependencies. In-patient programs can do a world of good for someone in your situation. Goodluck & Godbless.