Aa
My husband is in latter stages of alcoholism
Hi,
I have been married for 18 years....my husband has been an alcoholic 17 1/2 of those years and it is really bad right now.....I finally got the courage to leave almost 8 weeks ago with my son who is 15. The most painful is the denial and his continual lies that he has stopped drinking, etc.....
My heart is so crushed......he is no longer the man I married.
Looking for support and prayers.
God Bless You!
Suzie
I have been married for 18 years....my husband has been an alcoholic 17 1/2 of those years and it is really bad right now.....I finally got the courage to leave almost 8 weeks ago with my son who is 15. The most painful is the denial and his continual lies that he has stopped drinking, etc.....
My heart is so crushed......he is no longer the man I married.
Looking for support and prayers.
God Bless You!
Suzie
I totally agree about CML's comments! They are so informative and helpful and encouraging!
Hugs and blessings!
:)
Hugs and blessings!
:)
Hi CML!
Your post really ministered to me and really helped me see that I really am where God wants me to be....out of that crazy insaneness and cradled in His loving arms...with my dear son who is 15.
Your post greatly encouraged me and helped me really "SEE" that my husband really CANNOT see anything other than his next drink.......even to the extent of us moving out, it has done nothing but make him angry and justifying his being passed out as lack of sleep......peeing his pants, loss of bowel functions....etc.......I have cleaned up after him for 5 1/2, almost 6 years and my health was going downhill......it is so crazy, this life!
I am so thankful you are doing well and what a blessing you are here to everyone CML! Thank you for sharing your heart and for your love and encouragement!
May God Bless you greatly!
Hugs!
Your post really ministered to me and really helped me see that I really am where God wants me to be....out of that crazy insaneness and cradled in His loving arms...with my dear son who is 15.
Your post greatly encouraged me and helped me really "SEE" that my husband really CANNOT see anything other than his next drink.......even to the extent of us moving out, it has done nothing but make him angry and justifying his being passed out as lack of sleep......peeing his pants, loss of bowel functions....etc.......I have cleaned up after him for 5 1/2, almost 6 years and my health was going downhill......it is so crazy, this life!
I am so thankful you are doing well and what a blessing you are here to everyone CML! Thank you for sharing your heart and for your love and encouragement!
May God Bless you greatly!
Hugs!
Hi bahamamama!
Yes, I have been to alanon, but not for awhile....I haven't found a meeting that "fits" yet totally...my son also attended alateen, but he doesn't want to go anymore, so I am trying to set up a meeting with our Associate Pastor who grew up in an alcoholic home, was an alcoholic himself, and God radically set him free from it, and he is now Pastoring and ministering to so many who are in need. I am going to start counseling myself very soon as well.
Thank you so very much for your love and prayers and encouragement here! I am so thankful for each one who responded to my time of great need!
Hugs and Blessings!
:)
Yes, I have been to alanon, but not for awhile....I haven't found a meeting that "fits" yet totally...my son also attended alateen, but he doesn't want to go anymore, so I am trying to set up a meeting with our Associate Pastor who grew up in an alcoholic home, was an alcoholic himself, and God radically set him free from it, and he is now Pastoring and ministering to so many who are in need. I am going to start counseling myself very soon as well.
Thank you so very much for your love and prayers and encouragement here! I am so thankful for each one who responded to my time of great need!
Hugs and Blessings!
:)
Thank you so much for your encouragement without answers! I am praying for you and your dear hubby!
Hugs and God Bless you both!
Hugs and God Bless you both!
COMMUNITY LEADER
I love reading your posts...am so grateful you're a forum member!:)RIGHT ON!
If only there were a magic potion we could give to the alcoholic to stop the drunken madness---how many lives ,loves, families, relationships , children ,marriages...on and on, could be saved from the heartache that engulfs every life the alcoholic touches.
Speaking for myself only---when I was under the influence of alcohol, I was in my own world. Rational thought was not a part of it. I had no empathy, sympathy, understanding or consideration for anyone other than me. I would do or say anything to make sure I got my liquor.The lies and deception that went into the denial I was an alcoholic were enough to plaster an airplane hanger.
Know this Amazed, you are not alone, and as has been suggested, there are places where you can be with the remnants of families destroyed also by someone they loved. You can share and learn to cope, and more importantly know that by leaving with your son, you did the most courageous thing you could possibly do to SAVE yours and your sons life.
There just comes a time (and that time is different for everyone) when you HAVE TO WALK AWAY! All the talk, lies, anger, loneliness and grief just become unbearable and you must leave the decision to stop the madness up to the person that once meant everything to you....if they can still find that person.
Now you live for yourself and your son ,and with help from support groups like Al-anon you learn day by day to let go. Your husband will either find the strength he needs to get sober by the profound loss of his love and family...or he will continue down that road until he is totally destroyed.
There is NOTHING you can do or say--HE must find his way out of hell for his own self, that is just the way it has got to work. Intervention is nothing more than putting Band-Aid on the problem. For the will to get sober can only be brought forth by the alcoholic themselves. They must keep "themselves" sober. NO ONE can do it for them.
We are here for you. Please share your thoughts. Many good people here know what you are going through and can help you in your new journey.
Welcome
CML
Speaking for myself only---when I was under the influence of alcohol, I was in my own world. Rational thought was not a part of it. I had no empathy, sympathy, understanding or consideration for anyone other than me. I would do or say anything to make sure I got my liquor.The lies and deception that went into the denial I was an alcoholic were enough to plaster an airplane hanger.
Know this Amazed, you are not alone, and as has been suggested, there are places where you can be with the remnants of families destroyed also by someone they loved. You can share and learn to cope, and more importantly know that by leaving with your son, you did the most courageous thing you could possibly do to SAVE yours and your sons life.
There just comes a time (and that time is different for everyone) when you HAVE TO WALK AWAY! All the talk, lies, anger, loneliness and grief just become unbearable and you must leave the decision to stop the madness up to the person that once meant everything to you....if they can still find that person.
Now you live for yourself and your son ,and with help from support groups like Al-anon you learn day by day to let go. Your husband will either find the strength he needs to get sober by the profound loss of his love and family...or he will continue down that road until he is totally destroyed.
There is NOTHING you can do or say--HE must find his way out of hell for his own self, that is just the way it has got to work. Intervention is nothing more than putting Band-Aid on the problem. For the will to get sober can only be brought forth by the alcoholic themselves. They must keep "themselves" sober. NO ONE can do it for them.
We are here for you. Please share your thoughts. Many good people here know what you are going through and can help you in your new journey.
Welcome
CML
Are you going to Alanon? It's a very good resource on how to survive a loved ones addiction. From what you wrote, I think you made a wise decision leaving him. He needs to see he has hit bottom, so he wants help. Keep yourself healthy and be a good example to your son about creating boundaries. That's really all you can do right now.
Miracles are not impossible. I suggest that if you haven't yet you read my posts both in this community and in Living with an addict. The support and advise I received was so incredible, even though I took my own direction on how to finally handle the situation, the amazing woman here gave me strength.i will forever be thankful to them. I will pray for you, your son and your struggling husband.
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