My adult son, 29 yrs old, had an injurry, 4 surgeries for that injury and when he asked to have his painkillers reduced he got a nasty surprise that his body craved them and his pain was great. He still has pain but the addiction to pain killers is killing him. He avoids friends and family and keeps low profile at work. He grown huge debt for the drug costs and his life is controled by upper and downers as it appears to me. I feel it come to me that i can no longer let him avoid the subject and that it's the 11th hour before his health and life are not reclaimable in a short time to come. it's been 5 years since the injury 2 years since the last surgery and the last 17 months he learned it's not so easy to come off those drugs and has found alternative upper and downers to replace them. I have been told that he was prescribed one of those most damaging addicting pain killers of late by someone that knows. I wish now he'd take the help being offered but he avoids and deflects. I'm about to just speak lovingly to how i feel and what it means to me about being unable to connect / reach the son / person I knew him to be before all this and how painful it is to watch his health dimish. That I love him and would choose something better for him but realize it's his life to choose.
Do you think it could get more isolating if i say what i need to say? is there a chance he can feel or understand or care about the deepth of connectedness our family have had and how his choices are effecting the hearts of us all?
I couldn't live with myself if i didn't say it and lived to regret it.
If he turns his back on me, I will look for a group support to be apart of to perhaps understand what i can not change and find wisdom to accept.
any helpful suggestions are deeply appreciated.
Absolutely I think You should confront Your Son. Anything short of that is "enabling" Him and You don't want to do that. So, Yes, confront these issues with the Love, Care and Concern You have shown here, but be Firm with Him in what You think should happen.
And also, Yes, You should look for a group support for YourSelf.
Hello I am an addict now 31 days clean im letting you know Yes you need to let him know about how you feel and think should happen you should also find a group support for yourself as you cannot make him get off the drugs he has to want to for himself or it well not work....depending on how much he is on he can do it at home or at a inpatient treatment center I wish you the best of luck with what happens and hope he choices right if you want let him know about this site it has a substance abuse page that he can read the stories of others going through the same thing and maybie itll help him change his mind.
Yes you must most definitely have your talk with him. It might help to talk to an addictions counselor,before the talk, so that he sees that you know you can't do this alone. Talk to a therapist what the options may be for your son. Maybe he might be amenable to going to an outpatient rehab, which is always best, to have therapy and group sessions with others in the same boat. You can find out through them the best Pain Management Specialists that show addicts how to handle pain issues through physical therapy, a tens unit, natural supplements. etc. If the pain is his back, an inverse board may help. An exercise program from a physical therapist can do wonders. Having all the answers before you have your talk, or whille you let him know you are concerned and doing something about it, might give him a sense of support that he desperately needs right now. It's harrd work to be an addict. He's in rough shape right now,physically mentally and spiritually. Another thing you can think about, and that is spirituality. You can get him a cd with whale crys, or wolf howlings, you can get him something that is artistic for him , maybe a hobby to get his mind off of his drug of choice....like Pyrography. It' costs a little over a $100 to get him the wood, and the tools, to start to carve and burn pictures on wood. Anything to get his mind off of the drug and back into life. You can get him to go with you to a museum or botannical garden.
Let him know that you don't blame him, that the biggest drug pushers in America are doctors.... that it's normal for him to have become addicted to these addictive substances, and yeah, let him know about medhelp, why not? You want him to be able to be transparent and open about his drug problem and drug abuse, so why not start the ball rolling by showing him your question that you posted . Your queston by the way , shows only that you care immensely. I think it could be the best thing you can do for him is to let him know that when you reach out your hand to other addicts, you will always have someone who cares reaching out back to you.......God bless you both.... Incidentally,
I've been clean and sober since July 12th, 1999. I went to outpatient rehab, when i finally got clean. I'm here if either one of you need to talk. Liz
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