No off switch

[Vance2335]

Hello, I have a problem. It seems like I don't have an off switch when I drink. From time to time I can have one or two drinks, but overall it seems like when I drink I don't know when to stop. It's always I can have 1 more, but that one turns into many. For example I ended up drinking 12 beers in a matter of 3 hours recently. And like anyone else when drinking your decision making abilities get compromised. Not to go into full details of my situation because I have anxiety issues and self esteem issues that will be worked on with a therapist as well as this drinking issue.
Does anyone have any advice? I know that I can not drink anymore. I have never had an off switch, back in college I would black out at least 1 weekend night a weekend and sometimes both. While my friends were drunk, they were never like me on a consistant basis.

[Vance2335]

Thank you both for the advice.

[Punkinhead75]

Sounds to me like the question should be how do i stay stopped?  You've already shown that you can stop, the trick is to keep it that way.  Like I said earlier the off switch is right before the first drink.  Don't drink that first one and the progression won't start.  

The thing that helps me quite a bit is a "One day at a time" way of thinking.  Experience has shown me that when I drink my life starts to fall apart.  Maybe not all at once but it will eventually happen.  Sobriety has to be my first priority.  When certain situations hit I tell myself "don't drink today no matter what."  It gets easier with practice.  In the beginning it was tough but I kept at it and so far I'm doing ok.

The thing to keep in mind is that we can't have just one.  It just doesn't happen.  One drink sets off a train wreck.  Take care!!

[ibizan]

how do u stop?AA says this is a simple program for complicated ppl!u don't go to bars and drink,don't go 2 a bar to drink a pepsi,don't go thru the drive-thru and buy alcohol,don't go to drinking buds places and drink, or think u can sit there and drink a pepsi...oh sure u mite do this a few times but it won't last.....what types of things do u enjoy doing that don't involve drinking?how old r ur kids?what types of activities do u do w/them/do u and ur wife have a date nite?dinner,movie???this can be done minus alcohol!

[Vance2335]

Thanks for the advice.

So new question...how do I stop? I mean I have never had like a real desire to drink, it has mostly been hanging out with friends and having a few here and there. Last time I stopped it lasted a little while and then thought to myself well I can have one. And I did, I only had 1. But then over time it built, went from having 1 beer with friends to 2 beers and then 3 beers. Then when at home would have 1 or 2 at home till finally I had 12 while with friends. I was not drinking daily or even wanted to drink daily but I see over the past year or so how it just kept building and building.

And of course when I drink I have zero decision making ability. When I was in my 20's I would drink and drive yes dumb at the time but I wrote it off that I was just a dumb kid, well now in my mid 30's and I have still drunk and drive. At times so drunk that I don't even remember the drive home. This has brought on a great deal of anxiety because in 1 second I could kill someone, I could lose my family, I could lose everything. I have always done dumb things but now with 2 kids I just can't stop thinking about "what if".

As I said I am going to be in therapy soon so I can work on this but any advice on stopping for good would be great.

Thanks

[Punkinhead75]

I found my off switch.  It is just in front of the first drink.  I too had to learn the hard way that once I started I could not stop.  Life got to be pretty rough due to my drinking and I am very grateful that I no longer have to drink.  

Glad to hear you are going to counseling.  I went to intensive outpatient therapy for alcoholism/addiction along with AA.  I continue to go to AA mtgs on a regular basis. I find them very helpful.  If there is anything I can help with please don't hesistate to ask.  Take care and Good luck!!

[rpooo]

I probably should've mentioned that I don't have an off switch either. I see your 36.. I was diagnosed 3/23/10 end stage (C) Cirrhosis at the age of 38. I'm 39 now man. Think about it! What if..two more years, wanna try on my shoes? Find that off switch and leave it off!

[ibizan]

i found out at age 14 i didn't have an OFF switch and thought it was normal!I progressed in2 pot,valium,LSD and cocaine use up until age 28!I tried to find the OFF switch but failed miserably at controlled use.I surrendered and went to inpatient in 1983,made use of AA/NA...took what i could use and left the rest.I'm 55 now......sober/clean for 27 years.My dad passed in 06,my mom's dementia is progressing at an ugly pace,like my doctor said...life will intrude as it does......and sometime for 10 minutes i think about how nice it would be to smoke a big fat joint.......hahaha!and i know that life will be there when I come down,it wouldn't stop at one and i'd feel guilty about blowing 27 years of recovery plus i'd probably pass out and not wake up for a long time!U've accepted the loss of control thing...so now check out some AA keep an open mind and listen to what u hear.....so many commonalities u'll find w/many of the folks there!

[rpooo]

Well I wish I could offer you some good advise but I think you have already covered all the bases quite well. I'm glad you are seeing a therapist. Make sure you are as open and honest as you can be with your therapist. Don't leave anything out. If you leave out anything then your not gonna get the full effect of how well therapy can really help you. Besides your paying for it.

You are a smart man Vance, take pride in that. Also be confident in that. Theres not many posts in medhelp that i cant think of something a person should be doing to help themself. You got it though man!