Out of thoughts

[4today]

I am a mother of an adult alcoholic son who won't  seek help. He has tried therapists and out patient treatment which  worked for about 2 months. Couple of weeks ago he was in the ER after a drinking binge and I am told him he had to get help. I took away the car keys and money and he has made our life hell by being disruptive ie playing music loud late at night (not violent or abusive though)....just being annoying. Once he started being rational, I agreed to give the car back as long as he took antabuse. He got 2 doses into him so I gave back the keys and went to visit a non-drinking family friend. Well he called and I can tell he has been drinking so he got money from somewhere. I can't kick him out because he has no firends left and we really don't know anyone in the area. Idon't know what to do anymore, I have being patient, supportive, ignoring him. I have stopped pleading and refuse to talk to him when he is drinking.

[4today]

I feel like I am walking around in a haze most of the time, this is hard. I will admit I have been a severe enabler and feel like I am now paying the consequences for allowing this go on so long. I have read many of the posts here and they are giving me different perspective on things. Thanks for listening.

[ibizan]

its not that the therapists and outpatient therapy didn't work,ur son is not willing to do what it takes to stop drinking!its sad to watch a loved one destroy themselves,but he is an adult...if u kicked him out he would most likely find a variety of sofas to crash upon.....many have to crash and burn b4 they sober up and some never do.....its all in their hands!U really do need 2 get to Al-Anon there r so many mothers wives and partners of loved ones there who have battled this and stood fast in not allowing themselves to enable their loved ones alcoholism ruin their lives!

[rod44]

Hi, sorry you are dealing with this.
Alcoholism is a disease that tells the Alcoholic that they do not have a problem, admitting you have a problem is bad enough but if you dont believe you have a problem then how can you admit it, if you cant admit you have a problem then you are not going to get help....

To help your son you need to help yourself by getting a support network of people who understand what you are dealing with, you will find this in Al-anon.
You can continue to support your son (Financially etc) and watch him drink himself into an early death or you can get tough. Remember Alcoholic are very cunning when it comes to there addiction and will go to any lengths to feed this addiction, I am speaking from my own experience, when I was drinking I had no respect for anyone especially myself and when you have no self respect then you have nothing.

  

[trdofbeingtrd]

Sadly, I know exactly the situation. My cousin is 30 something years old, maybe 40 now, and even with the threat of grand-mal seizures he still drinks. He has no job, no girlfriend or wife, and DOES get violent when he drinks. I don't have any advice, and I am sorry for that. I just wanted to post so that you know you are not alone.

You can get answers here and support, please stick around because I can almost guarantee that I am not the only one who will post.