Aa
Please support me
This is my first attempt to stop drinking. I've never lost a job, or gotten a DUI, or lost a relationship because of my drinking, but I know I abuse alcohol. I have 2 teens that are starting to notice my drinking. I drink every night. I don't get "sloppy", but more often than not, I do black out. It seems that no matter how much or how little I drink, I black out. I drank on Friday July 30th, and now its Sunday late afternoon, and I'm having such a strong craving. I'm not having any other physical withdrawls. I'm fed up with being hung over, I'm sick of being depressed about not remembering things. My husband drinks too, and can handle it better than me. He is supporting me, but he isn't home now, and will not be home in the evenings for 2 weeks, due to a temporary shift change. When he isn't here I don't drink to the point of getting drunk or blacking out, but I do drink alone. I don't want to drink every day. I don't want to drink and get wasted. I want to socially enjoy it, on special occasions. I stayed up all night last night reading this whole thread and couldn't believe some of the similarities I have with people who are full blown alcoholics. I don't want to get that way, and I'm really afraid I'm going to end up there is I don't make some changes now.
Thanks Audrey, and I appreciate your insight. Since I posted that first post, I've done a lot of reading and soul searching. I believe that i am an alcohol abuser, and have quit cold turkey. In fact, I was taking medication that contributed to the blackouts, and honestly, the blackouts werent what convinced me I had a problem. I belong to another forum called sober recovery, and have spent hours reading posts from here and from there. I believe I have a problem with alcohol because during my first drink, I'm thinking about the second. When I feel buzzed, I don't have that off switch that normal drinkers have. I drink to get drunk, period. That isn't normal social drinking. My stress wasnt from the relationship I have with my daughter, it was from the stress over her making wrong decisions in her life. Don't get me wrong, its been a long road with her, but weirdly enough, we remain close no matter what dumb thing she decided to do. I havent mentioned anything to my 13 year old son about my drinking, but I was out at an art fair with my daughter and I very casually mentioned that I've quit drinking. She said "you DID??" I said yes, its unnecessary, and unhealthy, and I'm done with it, and thats been all that has been said. I'm on the computer every night getting support from some online friends in recovery, and I have to say, its helped tremendously. Thanks again for your response. Its so nice to know people care.
Congratulations on making it yet through another day.
Let me introduce myself by saying that I am a daily drinker and have been for years. I drink at night. I call myself a functional alcoholic. No DWIs, no job problems, no financial problems due to drinking, no hangovers or missed days of work due to drinking. It has, however, had a profound impact on my relationship with my son.
With your newly found sobriety, maybe you'll gain some insight. When I read your first post, there appears to be some denial. It is not normal to black out, unless you are taking medication that interacts with alcohol. If you were fed up with waking up with a hangover and not remembering things, this is also a likely sign that you were minimizing the effects of your drinking.
You mentioned that a possible reason for your drinking was to relieve stress coming from your relationship with your daughter. Kids pick up on their parent's drinking long before the parent realizes it. Don't know how your daughter was acting, but some family members deal with it by being a provoker, attacking the alcoholic, thinking that this will get them to change. That is what my 20 year old son is doing to me right now. He is so angry and the level of stress in this house is unbelievable. I am not the one to start arguments, he is. Even with family counseling, he just glares at me and rolls his eyes, but he will not say how my drinking has hurt him.
With your sobriety, you have the opportunity to rebuild your relationship with your daughter. I would highly encourage you to have your children attend Al-Anon, or Al-Teen so that they understand more about how your drinking has affected them. They also need to know that you might slip one day, but that doesn't mean that you can't put yourself back on the wagon again.
Keep up with the good work!
Let me introduce myself by saying that I am a daily drinker and have been for years. I drink at night. I call myself a functional alcoholic. No DWIs, no job problems, no financial problems due to drinking, no hangovers or missed days of work due to drinking. It has, however, had a profound impact on my relationship with my son.
With your newly found sobriety, maybe you'll gain some insight. When I read your first post, there appears to be some denial. It is not normal to black out, unless you are taking medication that interacts with alcohol. If you were fed up with waking up with a hangover and not remembering things, this is also a likely sign that you were minimizing the effects of your drinking.
You mentioned that a possible reason for your drinking was to relieve stress coming from your relationship with your daughter. Kids pick up on their parent's drinking long before the parent realizes it. Don't know how your daughter was acting, but some family members deal with it by being a provoker, attacking the alcoholic, thinking that this will get them to change. That is what my 20 year old son is doing to me right now. He is so angry and the level of stress in this house is unbelievable. I am not the one to start arguments, he is. Even with family counseling, he just glares at me and rolls his eyes, but he will not say how my drinking has hurt him.
With your sobriety, you have the opportunity to rebuild your relationship with your daughter. I would highly encourage you to have your children attend Al-Anon, or Al-Teen so that they understand more about how your drinking has affected them. They also need to know that you might slip one day, but that doesn't mean that you can't put yourself back on the wagon again.
Keep up with the good work!
In reading this I am glad to hear you have stopped drinking. I am a recovering alcholic today and it is my 112th day.
This is my 2nd attempt at sobriety and my thinking is so much better and clearer and to honest life is a little bit easier. Sure I want to drink sometim es but now the thought of no vodka again was physicaly and mentaly hard to process that thought. Then my husband knocks some send into me and says dear people like you when you are sober when you are drunk you are annoying and so on ( I still say that is not true when I was drunk everyone loved me lol)
One thing I want you to think about is when you go to a party or a wedding things you normally would get drunk at and make a plan before you go or if it is going to make you that uncomrtable dont go. I have not gone to wedding and I attended one. What we did was get there a little bit before dinner so we could mingle and I could talk to some people and then we ate dinner and mingled again and left about 9 when people started there drunken talks lol oh and i really can not dance when I am sober so strange I could swear I knew how to swing dance when I was drunk lol
This is my 2nd attempt at sobriety and my thinking is so much better and clearer and to honest life is a little bit easier. Sure I want to drink sometim es but now the thought of no vodka again was physicaly and mentaly hard to process that thought. Then my husband knocks some send into me and says dear people like you when you are sober when you are drunk you are annoying and so on ( I still say that is not true when I was drunk everyone loved me lol)
One thing I want you to think about is when you go to a party or a wedding things you normally would get drunk at and make a plan before you go or if it is going to make you that uncomrtable dont go. I have not gone to wedding and I attended one. What we did was get there a little bit before dinner so we could mingle and I could talk to some people and then we ate dinner and mingled again and left about 9 when people started there drunken talks lol oh and i really can not dance when I am sober so strange I could swear I knew how to swing dance when I was drunk lol
Be as proud of yourself as we are of you
You are starting a journey that will give you peace of mind & a life beyond your wildest dreams, stick with it :)
Ray
You are starting a journey that will give you peace of mind & a life beyond your wildest dreams, stick with it :)
Ray
You are going to beat this,you are doing so well congratulations on 7 days.
The days will mount up before you know it.
Denise
The days will mount up before you know it.
Denise
There's plenty of things you can do to start out on getting better. It would help if you told us how much you drink and for how long. There can be serious withdrawl symptoms if you shock your body too much. You should really check with a doctor and talk this over with him / her. However, here are some basic ideas for you
1. Find a doctor and get yourself checked out physically to see how your body is doing. Share your concerns with the doctor and discuss any possible withdrawl dangers he/she can advise you on. They can also refer you to support groups and or / counseling services in your area that will be free of charge.
2. AA is probably a good place to start and there are meetings all over the place. A little depression counseling doesn't hurt either. If you're having trouble stopping on your own then you need to start treating the addiction right away and a support group like AA would be a fantastic place to start.
3. Open the yellow pages and check out the first few or last few pages. There's usually toll free support line numbers there. Suicide line, depression line, etc... Speaking from personal experience some of the operators on those lines are very capable and can also refer you to support and or counseling groups in your area including AA. I've had some good talks with the operator on the depression lines. If you don't have a phone book then just google "Depression hotline" or "Alcohol support" and your city/state and look at the results.
4. From my own experience I've found that adjusting your sleep schedule so that you get a decent, full nights sleep each night is very helpful. Sleep rejuvinates the body and the mind. Life always seems a lot worse if you're exhausted all day.
5. I've found that a little exercise helps as well. You don't need to get crazy, just do a little bit. Do some stretching in the morning or before you go to bed, Maybe go for a walk in the morning or at night. Bring along your ipod or whatnot and listen to some good music that you enjoy. Classical music, I find, is peaceful and thought provoking. I defy anyone to be upset while listening to classical music.
6. Remember a time when you drank too much even for you. Remember the bad feelings, bad things that happened, and most importantly remember how awful you felt when you woke up the next day (probably late) and how the whole day was ruined. Try to capture that feeling in your mind and think about it. Then think about how much nicer it is to wake up feeling refreshed in the morning, having had a good nights sleep, no hangover, no embarassing memories from the night before. Make that a goal to strive for each day. And each day when you wake up take a moment to realize how much better and nicer it is to wake up that way.
7. Don't be afraid to let people in. Friends, family, boyfriend, etc.. if they care about you then trust me they WANT to be there to help you through this.Don't feel you have to be alone if you have loved ones that are more than willing to go it with you. You don't have to shut people out. Your health, your recovery, is key.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to speak with a doctor about all of this. They can better walk you through the steps you need to take to safely detox from alcohol and help put you on the path to recovery. We can't diagnose you or give you medical advice on here, we can only share our own experiences and thoughts based on what we've gone through. But it's a resource you should certainly utilize!
It's a long road and it certainly isn't easy. Feel free to avail yourself of those hotlines you'll find whenever you want and certainly feel free to come on this forum and share with us if you need to talk or vent or just be heard. There's not much you can tell us on here that we haven't heard or done before! No shame, just support!
1. Find a doctor and get yourself checked out physically to see how your body is doing. Share your concerns with the doctor and discuss any possible withdrawl dangers he/she can advise you on. They can also refer you to support groups and or / counseling services in your area that will be free of charge.
2. AA is probably a good place to start and there are meetings all over the place. A little depression counseling doesn't hurt either. If you're having trouble stopping on your own then you need to start treating the addiction right away and a support group like AA would be a fantastic place to start.
3. Open the yellow pages and check out the first few or last few pages. There's usually toll free support line numbers there. Suicide line, depression line, etc... Speaking from personal experience some of the operators on those lines are very capable and can also refer you to support and or counseling groups in your area including AA. I've had some good talks with the operator on the depression lines. If you don't have a phone book then just google "Depression hotline" or "Alcohol support" and your city/state and look at the results.
4. From my own experience I've found that adjusting your sleep schedule so that you get a decent, full nights sleep each night is very helpful. Sleep rejuvinates the body and the mind. Life always seems a lot worse if you're exhausted all day.
5. I've found that a little exercise helps as well. You don't need to get crazy, just do a little bit. Do some stretching in the morning or before you go to bed, Maybe go for a walk in the morning or at night. Bring along your ipod or whatnot and listen to some good music that you enjoy. Classical music, I find, is peaceful and thought provoking. I defy anyone to be upset while listening to classical music.
6. Remember a time when you drank too much even for you. Remember the bad feelings, bad things that happened, and most importantly remember how awful you felt when you woke up the next day (probably late) and how the whole day was ruined. Try to capture that feeling in your mind and think about it. Then think about how much nicer it is to wake up feeling refreshed in the morning, having had a good nights sleep, no hangover, no embarassing memories from the night before. Make that a goal to strive for each day. And each day when you wake up take a moment to realize how much better and nicer it is to wake up that way.
7. Don't be afraid to let people in. Friends, family, boyfriend, etc.. if they care about you then trust me they WANT to be there to help you through this.Don't feel you have to be alone if you have loved ones that are more than willing to go it with you. You don't have to shut people out. Your health, your recovery, is key.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to speak with a doctor about all of this. They can better walk you through the steps you need to take to safely detox from alcohol and help put you on the path to recovery. We can't diagnose you or give you medical advice on here, we can only share our own experiences and thoughts based on what we've gone through. But it's a resource you should certainly utilize!
It's a long road and it certainly isn't easy. Feel free to avail yourself of those hotlines you'll find whenever you want and certainly feel free to come on this forum and share with us if you need to talk or vent or just be heard. There's not much you can tell us on here that we haven't heard or done before! No shame, just support!
This was so nice to read this morning. Now is the time when we need to be there for our kids as they are going thru so many emotional battles at that age........Keep it going!!! sara
COMMUNITY LEADER
that was a good thing!so wise of you to make needed changes now for if you don't your daughter is likely to repeat your behavior....then when you admonish her for it she will say BUT MOM...YOU DRANK!one hour at a time...one day at a time!keep up the momentum!
That's great julez. I think you'll find more of a connection with her and with other people as well, as you spend more time sober. Drinking is a very "self absorbed" activity, and it's difficult to notice others when you are in a drinking cycle. I've found that I listen to others, and actually care more as a sober person. In many ways, I think this is a gift of seeing both sides.....once you've experienced the selfishness of excessive drinking, you can fully appreciate the gifts that sobriety can offer.
Isn't it great to be able to talk to our children with a clear head,I'm so proud of you,keep talking and we'll keep answering,we are here for you
Denise
Denise
Its the morning of day 5 and before I go to work I wanted to share something with you all. Last night my very hard to reach 15 year old crawled into bed with me for a heart to heart. If I had been drinking, I probably wouldn't have been present enough to be any good to her. But I wasn't, and I want to say thanks to all here because when I do have that urge, I can come here and read until that urge goes away. Thanks for all the support, and the support others have received.
Congratulations on day 4,you can do this,and we'll be here to help if you need to chat or are having cravings.Good Luck
Denise
Denise
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers on this, but once you get stable, you'll find that you are better able to face your problems "head-on". You may even find that there are solutions you weren't willing to consider when you were sober.
Congrats on Day 4 (Whoopee!). This gets better!
Congrats on Day 4 (Whoopee!). This gets better!
Today is day 4. Whoopee right? Well if I make it through the day, I will be happy. I've come to realize that a big part of why I drink is because of the stress created by my 15 year old daughter. We just got back from the psychiatrist and it was a very tense visit. Please keep me in your prayers today.
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