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Sober and Good that we Inhale/Exhale!

Well that thread got too long so here we go ladies......maintaining sobriety and sanity in this oftentimes insane life continues.....what an order.....but i must go thru with it......saw a cool saying 2 day by Winston Churchill"If ur going thru hell...keep going!and keep going we must!
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
okeedokee anniversary girl..its ur turn!start it!swatting flies in sobriety!hehee!
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553995 tn?1332018840
Whatcha think..........It seems these threads don't go to the next page so how about we start a inhale/exhale 2?

Okeedokee?
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
ahh u enjoy girl.......and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....thwack!ach!got another one!big sober cyberhug and cheek facial haha kiss ritebackatcha!
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553995 tn?1332018840
There is a really cool restaurant that we never went to here.  The chef is the owner and is a proud man.  Personal touches. Thought we'd try there.  If its too crowded, there are many restaurants in the artsy area, we could go to any of them.  Its about hanging out together.  

Ha, love the fly analogy.  I hear ya.

ttyl  MWAH !!   (thats a big kiss)
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
wow that is cool happy anniversay dear!very rare that couples who get sober 2 gether stay together and also the high divorce rate in this country.A good man/team player is a very good and difficult find in this day and age.A very wise person told me this years ago....some ppl r like flies,.......they eat poop and pester others..well we know what they eat but medhelp would delete it.....get out ur fly swatter hon!have a grey8t day...doin anything special?
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553995 tn?1332018840
Good Morning Girls,  It is so nice to have a nice group of ladies to say hi to first thing in the A.M.

Today is my 19th wedding anniversary.  I'm with this man 25 years altogether.  We met drunk, drank together, and got sober together 13 years ago.  Tonight we celebrate by going out to dinner.

I woke up, he was up already, and came into the kitchen, said "Happy Anniversary"  We still like each other!"   He's a complex man of few words.  He smiled  

I'm the noisy one!  hahaha

..........................................................................
Ya know what I hate....when your writing to someone, they read ya wrong and they trash ya somewhere else on the site.  Then you read the feedback they got and its allllll butt backwards because she misrepresented  it.  

I usually blow the person off and let the thread cool down.  This time I rebuttaled, it was like she was talking behind my back.  I thought we were talking it out ourselves.  

That is one of my life rules, "Do not repeat what is said to me, do not talk about other people."  Simple   Another rule........" I have a problem someone, work it out with them, God and my sponsor".

Gotta check on my Sponsor, she had surgery yesterday.  Her husband didn't call me, that has me nervous.  They are both in the program too.

TTYL
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
The meds for Alzheimers and dementia will not stop these illnesses from progressing they will slow the progression and aid with the symptoms somewhat.......all of what u say sounds familiar to me and my sibs....my mom cannot remember my x and she really liked him.....wow wish i was that lucky!:)
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243614 tn?1266197537
Well my girls.   I called and spoke with my Mom this evening.  She didn't say anything mean but i could tell by her voice she is not a happy camper.   Wanted to know where i was.  I told her home but i will be back there soon and we'll get it all worked out.
She just didn't sound right.  I went over to the alzheimers site and there is a new treatment called Remba.  I will be asking the dr. about it.  It may still be in the trial mode.   Could be the FDA hasn't even approved it, but i will be asking.
goodnight girlies.  i will check in tomorrow.  All the fruit and vege. talking made my mouth water. yummy!  I have got to get out to the fruit stand tomorrow and get some good stuff.
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
oh such grey8t pics!brings back good memories.....my dad would do that with his pies and pizza from scratch so good!i love art......fav photographer Diane Arbus and Robert Mapplethorpe..love the black and white...of course Ansel Adams...and fav painter Frida Kahlo and several of the other surrealists females and males...Marc Chagall 2!
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553995 tn?1332018840
I put up the photos of us apple picking and making pies.  They will just be up for a few days.  I made the settings to be viewed "only by friends"  Ibizan, I noticed you are not in my friends group, how silly.  I sent you a friends invite, now you can see my pix.  

Thunderstorms here, supposed to be beautes, no video games for me. shucks.  bye
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553995 tn?1332018840
My Dad is so cute!  He tells me he can't wait until the fall because every year he, my Mom and my Mom's sister, my Auntie come down by me.  We go apple picking and come back to my house and bake pies. Four pies in the oven, talk about the house smellin homey.  We all have dinner together and just have a full day of cookin and laughing. I can post a pix of last years baking.

He already called the orchard to see when pickin starts.  God bless his dear heart.

Off to play video games, my replacement addiction.  bye til tomorrow.
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
grey8t minds think alike!yummy!i have such good memories of my parents cooking/baking and ur stimulating it!i can see u wiping away....Bandida the Meticulous Counter Bandit!
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380309 tn?1246467740
ESP again!! I just sent Tom to the store 4 some haagendaz vanilla ice cream! Had oreo cookie but don't thing it would do the peaches justice. We just had a helacious rainstorm come thru here, lightining popping all over. I was going to BBQ my chicken 4 din-din but I think I'll just pop it in the oven too. Makes the house smell homey! OK enuf I am starting to drool on the keyboard. I'll be around tho...Gotta go to bed early for my 5 ocloko shift tomorrow. I have pretty much already decided that I prefer my 2-10. Hope this is just an occasional thing...too hectic in the day and I really prefer to work by myself. I am a hound for having a clean sub counter and some ppl just don't care...Always have a rag in my hand wiping away.  Plus my new Boss is so HYPER!!! He needs a chill pill!
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
wow!u make me think of my dad whose been gone 2 years now.....he would give me fresh peaches he picked from a orchard when in season and he loved to bake apple dumplings and peach pies.....i sure miss him.....sure glad i resolved a lot about him and we had a good relationship b4 he left.....he was a good father and provider...a well respected doctor but not the best husband to my mom who loved him a lot and put up with a lot.when i go to visit her she comes forth with some very unpleasant things that happened......i let her talk for she has held in so much for 62 years.......it can be upsetting a tad but i let it flow and go....that Serenity prayer again..... some things they know and some things not....some things r better left unsaid..that was a good song by Hall and Oates!bandida..put some good vanilla ice cream on that cobbler..or good peach ice cream on it!
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380309 tn?1246467740
What a coincedence!!!! I just made and popped into the oven a fresh peach cobbler YUM!!! Could this be ESP? LOLOL
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553995 tn?1332018840
Hi, Just got back from a huge farmers market by me. My honey and I loaded up on peaches and apples!  I love my diningroom table full of baskets lined with cloth napkins filled with fruit.

We bought a loaf of their fresh baked white bread and made BLT's with our own grown tomatoes.  

This is the life.  

Then I get on here and you girls are awesome, thanks for being here.  
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243614 tn?1266197537
I am reading your posts and learning as i go.  The nurse was trying to protect me, i think.  I really hate the thoughts of my Momma telling me off on the phone.  I just called and the nurse said they had just been brought lunch and she was having a good day.
So i will call back later and talk to her.  I know if she says mean things, it isn't really her.
Thanks for the wedding humor and more info about you Ibi.   Have a good one girls.
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
good for u what u sed to ur mom-she did deserve that...and glad she admitted her wrongdoings yes?and u have reached a middle of the road with her.i was taught in inpatient that our feelings r neither good or bad..they just r....u have every right to feel the way u do bout ur x....and good he is giving ur daughter the wedding she wants.do we ever rid ourselves of the negative feelings?i think they change shape and form.i've never been married thank god....never had the desire for that but had longed for a good companion..notice i say had longed.....long story short thought i had one after 10 years of flying solo and he chose to relapse with cocaine and go back to his **** friends and **** lifestyle...stupid thought i would put up with it/him.got a big suprise.My feelings have gone from so much anger and hurt for he said and did cruel things....blew me away....but now after 2 years i feel sadness for him and how he is yet another human being wasting time/space on this earth.Blew a recording contract with Columbia Records in the late 80's.A waste of a life and talent.if someone told me he died..i would smile.....feel more peace..and i don't feel bad for feeling that way..just the way it is!still think my purple velvet docs would make a fashion statement with ur stevie nicks dress!hahah!oh yes we r wild woman and may we get wilder as we age!
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553995 tn?1332018840
I hear ya.  I had the opposite. My Mom, admittedly, had the best intentions, but was a crappy Mom.  She had a lousy teacher, submissive Mom, abusive Dad.  My brother and I got the school of hard knocks raising.  
We've worked it out and we are close now.  The program and having Fibromyalgia has taught me not to be a doormat and stand up for myself.  I finally (to capsulize it) told my Mom that I learned a great thing from how she raised me.......How not to raise my children.  It was a wake-up call for her and opened dialogue.  I asked that she put down her guard and let me get to know the woman she is so we could be friends.  It's good now, after a few tongue lashing and hugs.

Boy, You and I should dress up and go paint the town.  They would see us coming !!!  You got a bit of wild woman in ya, huh!!  awesome.  

I feel like you do about weddings, so does my husband.  My daughter is ......well........having her dream wedding.......while we are standing back waiting for it to be done with!  

She is having a 9 piece band, cocktail hour, fancy smancy, top of the line formal occasion.  The best part is for all the **** her Dad put me through in her life and the fact he shirked child support..........she threw him the bill for it  :-p  I am so thrilled..  

I know, not very serene of me.  Is "Paybacks a B---ch" a program saying.   I don't think so.  It is odd that I can be friends with his wife, and feel I have forgiven and let go of all the **** for my sake.  I can see him and not feel anything but when my mind goes to what he did and walked away into a perfectly lovely life, I want to mascerate his face.

Can we ever really process and rid ourselves of deep negative feelings?  I think all the added stress I have had plus the illness I live with and the pain I have daily, weakens my constitution, which allows our defenses that we've built to weaken.  

That is why we work a program, why we have the steps.  Why we make a list of people we have to make amends to or at least forgive and know our place in the violation.

I need to remember my place in the whole deformation of the marriage. Thats the answer.

Thanks for letting me spout, Thanks for reading and having me feel heard.
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
i LOVE doc martens..have a lot of em!u wanna borrow my purple crushed velvet hi-top stompers to go with ur dress?i have orange ones and tie dyed blue red green and orange ones 2 look stunning with that crepe!:)!My niece is getting married in Manhattan in the fall.i'm not going.....i refuse to fly our unfriendly skies with their crappy *** service and costs....and i'm not much of a wedding person.i get very bored with all the pomp/cicumstance..ok i've been nice heres my gift can we just eat and me go home now?i wish her the best!The cost of this wedding is just obscene...i don't even want to type it here....and i'm so glad i'm not going..told my sis i'm saving her $$$$ on the plate food costs!i am like u ph with what i would wear....i have been to family weddings  and had family pee moan and complain with what i had on......not formal enuf for them...i also don't do hose and high heels.....who give a good ratsbutt patoot?aren'cha all glad i;'m here?my heart goes out to ya dear!Well hon act like Stevie Nicks!she kicked her alcohol and klonipin habit!!!and yes our mothers lose their youth as do we.....but so sad to see the dementia like things.....but we care for them like they cared for us....my mom was such a good mom...her parents were horrible ppl and she was raised by her granma......but so good to all 6 of us..i was fortunate..i know others r not that haven't had good parenting.
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553995 tn?1332018840
You girls are something to look forward to every day.

Ibizan, Every time I read what you write, it moves me.  Your words are often so wise and calming

Bandida,
It is like me to go bare foot but gotta protect the toes from lousy dancer.....so my choice would be doc martins, hahaha, that would rock her boat!!!  

If I was going as myself..........dreaming............I would be wearing a natural light colored hemp two piece layered dress with my blonde hair all wild and free with flowers in my hair, just a little make-up to smooth the look of my weathered skin and blush to make it a bit more youthful. A bit of tinted lip gloss and off to have a relaxed happy day.

Instead I'm squeezing into a 590.00 crepe organza, corset strapless gown that they have to add staps to so my boobs won't lay on my belly. I am glad a jacket is part of the ensemble so I don't have to be too concerned about my upper body and its flaws.  I love the jacket.   It has a roll collar with long sleves a slit that flair, Stevie Nicks like.  I have nice legs so its nice that the dress has a slit also with soft ruffles.  

Tonya, I feel for you, but this is not the Mom you knew.  Iziban's words are words to hang onto.  

My mom is sharp still and says things to me that I hold onto and when I bring them up the next day, she forgets she has said them. My point is, what we take to heart is not always as dire to the other person.

What's with the nurse?  I don't get why she has anything to say.  She is hired help, isn't she?  If she is a professional, she should know this sort of thing occurs.

Any hooooo, Where's Bandida, we need a song !



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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
first and foremeost ur mom is angry at the aging process and the demise of her mind and body.it will come out on u until she stabilizes and comes to terms with her mortality and loss of functioning.about a year in2 her stay at the home...my mom was overheard to say to a lady who was ranting about her kids putting her in prison and the staff allegedly stealing her belongings"Francis the reason why our kids put us here is because we're not ourselves anymore and they want 2 keep us safe."What progress but it took a year for that to occur.All we have control over in life is our own behavior...our own choices....measly but true!
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243614 tn?1266197537
I like the barefoot one the best!  ha ha  Good to hear your voice and visit with you.
My Momma is now mad at me.  Nurse said she was gonna fly out to oregon and whip my arse.  I almost want to cry, but know it isn't her.  Sad though.
ah, we'll see what tomorrow brings.  My brother is calling now to see if she is mad at him.  she told my Uncle last night that I was mad at her.  Dang, hard to keep it all straight, isn't it? OH DEAR LORD be with us all.  He is in control, cause i sure am not.
All i can control is me and not drinking any booze.   Tonya
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380309 tn?1246467740
Ok I have a great Idea for your shoe dilemna GO BAREFOOT!!!! Or better yet wear FLIP-FLOPS!!!!! That'll get her!! YOU'LL B the RAGE!!!!!!
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