Step Eight

"Made a list of persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
     Taken from the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

This step was tough for me because I knew what was coming next.  LOL!!  I was told that if I wanted to stay sober that this step as well as the next one needed to be done.  Begrudgingly I listened.  It was tough to think of people I had hurt at first but once I got started names seemed to flow pretty quickly.  Reflecting upon each person and the harm done brought back a lot of memories.  I am glad that I had a sponsor to help with this.  His support made it much easier.  A lot of tough emotions crept up but he assured me that that was the point and that I was doing the right thing.  He helped me understand my part in each situation.

Amends: to change for the better

In some cases this is more than just a simple apology.  I must become willing to do what is necessary to make  a relationship better.  When I harm someone I damage a relationship.  I cause resentment,anger and fear in others.  It is now up to me to be willing to own up to the results of my actions.  I spent much of my time running and hiding from people because of the things that I had done.  If I were to live a happy and sober life I would need to stop running and face problems.  This helps keep my house clean.  When my house is clean I find that I don't want to drink. When I'm not thinking about drinking and drugging my mind is free to think of helping others and being grateful for the way things are today.

[ibizan]

i agree...however there are some who will not accept an apology and that is understandable for this step helps us aknowledge/take responsibility for our behaviors under the influence.then it leads us in2 Step 9 which is where i found if i could not make the amend for it may cause more damage and grief to confess to another something they knew not of........the best i was told i could do was to not repeat that behavior....EVER!