Step Twelve

"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principals in all our affairs."
     Taken from The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions pg106


It has been said that our abuse is a symptom of our disease and that our disease is actually a spiritual malady.  So therefore a spiritual awakening is what we need to recover from a hopeless state.  What is a spiritual awakening?  It is a personality change which is sufficient enough to bring about recovery from our addictions.  How do we get a spiritual awakening?  Working the prior 11 steps.  By working the prior steps I have learned about honesty, willingness, humility and open mindedness.  I have learned how to honestly appraise myself and admit to any harms I may have caused.  I have learned how to face lifes challenges head on instead of hiding from them.  I have learned a new way to live.

One of the things I learned early on in regards to staying sober is that nothing insures me from picking up as much as working with another addict.  Experience has shown me this is true.  I came home from work one day and I wasn't in such a good head space.  My wife was also in a bad mood a jumped all over me as soon as I walked in the door.  Sure enough I couldn't hold back and blew up at her.  We had a pretty good fight and I ended up leaving.  I went for a ride to try and calm down but my head was still spinning.  I decided to go to a mtg.  I got there and opened up and made coffee.  This mtg usally has quite a few people and surprisingly only one other person showed up.  This person was relatively new and was pretty shook up.  We started talking and sharing back and forth.  Talking with him reminded me of myself and some of things I had gone through early on.  It brought back a lot of memories and was able to give him some hope and some peace.  The end result was that I had gotten out of my own crap and realized that my stuff was all bullspit and that I needed to go home and make amends with my wife.  I didn't have to drink or drug because I got angry.  I had been shown a new way to act.  A way that keeps me clean and sober.  I have had a spiritual awakening from working the steps.  Today I get to use that experience to help others.  In doing so, I myself stay sober.  The very thing I had asked God to help me with on the night I had hit my bottom.

Practice these principals in all our affairs.  This does not mean to practice these when we cheat on our spouses.  LOL!!!  It means to apply these in our daily lives.  I have found Higher powers or powers greater than myself all over the place.  Sometimes my wife, my boss or even customers.  There are things that I am powerless over like other peoples behavior.  I can look at these things with an open mind and relate the steps to different situations in my life.  By using the steps on a regular basis they have almost become second nature.  However, they do require practice.  Many of us fell when learning to walk or ride a bike.  Maybe we swallowed some water when learning to swim or ran off the road when learning to drive.  The point is we weren't good at doing many things when we first tried but by practicing we got better.  Sobreity is a journey.  Thank you for being a part of mine!!! God Bless!!!