Aa
Welcom "B" looking for some answers???
Hi bword,
Bword is looking for some answers, Her story is at the end of the last post dated Nov, 2009.
Hopefully we can share some of our advice and support !
Welcome Bword!
Bword is looking for some answers, Her story is at the end of the last post dated Nov, 2009.
Hopefully we can share some of our advice and support !
Welcome Bword!
I think "doing things that are stupid and cringe-worthy" should be listed under "Alcoholic" in the dictionary, LOL. God knows we all know how that goes, well at least I have my list---and still adding to it after 25 +years.
Problem is I just can't remember them all. They just pop into my memory randomly all these years later.
As long as these actions have not brought hurt or pain to others, we just have to chalk it up to being a "drunk". Don't beat yourself up the" remorse is just part of the journey back" to sanity, and it is a good thing to finally hold ourselves accountable----it will get better.
Problem is I just can't remember them all. They just pop into my memory randomly all these years later.
As long as these actions have not brought hurt or pain to others, we just have to chalk it up to being a "drunk". Don't beat yourself up the" remorse is just part of the journey back" to sanity, and it is a good thing to finally hold ourselves accountable----it will get better.
I'm sorry You're feeling not so proud of YourSelf - but know that is an early step for change. You've been in "denial" and You are emerging from that, hence the remorse You are feeling. Remorse is good.
We have to feel some sort of remorse for what we do/have done, else there would be no change, We have to WANT change to have change and that usually involves feelings of remorse. The "pride" will do an about face for You. There is not recovered/recovering alcoholic who isn't "proud" of the change(s) They've made in Their lives to be sober.
GoodLuck
We have to feel some sort of remorse for what we do/have done, else there would be no change, We have to WANT change to have change and that usually involves feelings of remorse. The "pride" will do an about face for You. There is not recovered/recovering alcoholic who isn't "proud" of the change(s) They've made in Their lives to be sober.
GoodLuck
just checking in....doing ok... but yikes!! I think I opened pandoras box...because now I'm looking at a lot of things..especially about myself...that I'm not so proud of
:/
:/
Yes B. we all know we have a problem before getting sober, but DENIAL is such a part of this disease that we will make excuses, ignore the warning signs, and get downright indignant with people who call us out on our drinking habits . In fact many people stop seeing their friends and family that have confronted them. They would rather be with people they hardly know who are usually other drunks or just don't give a damn.
When I think of some of the things I did as a drunk I am amazed I am still alive. More importantly I am amazed I never hurt anyone other than myself. That would be hard to live with.
You have to stop drinking, but take it (like they say) "One day at a time" Do not look any further than the here and now.
Funny story--well not funny at the time. I was seeing an addiction counselo
because I thought I MAY have a drinking problem, She told me , well one way to find out, go home and do not drink for the 9 days until our next apt. and then we will talk. Well I was so sure I could beat her at this game I stopped for the 9 days. When I went back to her , all proud that I could drink again since I gave it up for 9 days--she smacked me in the mouth with --So now do not drink until our next apt. Well by that time I had gone thru the worst part so I continued hour by hour, day by day month, by month--27 years later--WALA!
Point is, everyone has their own way of finding the strength to get sober and stay sober. No one said it will be easy, but it will be worth it.
Let us know what's up, K?
We are here for you to talk all you want, if it leads you to a sober life.
CML
When I think of some of the things I did as a drunk I am amazed I am still alive. More importantly I am amazed I never hurt anyone other than myself. That would be hard to live with.
You have to stop drinking, but take it (like they say) "One day at a time" Do not look any further than the here and now.
Funny story--well not funny at the time. I was seeing an addiction counselo
because I thought I MAY have a drinking problem, She told me , well one way to find out, go home and do not drink for the 9 days until our next apt. and then we will talk. Well I was so sure I could beat her at this game I stopped for the 9 days. When I went back to her , all proud that I could drink again since I gave it up for 9 days--she smacked me in the mouth with --So now do not drink until our next apt. Well by that time I had gone thru the worst part so I continued hour by hour, day by day month, by month--27 years later--WALA!
Point is, everyone has their own way of finding the strength to get sober and stay sober. No one said it will be easy, but it will be worth it.
Let us know what's up, K?
We are here for you to talk all you want, if it leads you to a sober life.
CML
EVERYONE drinks for the buzz - if it wasn't for the buzz, we'd drink water. Problem is - the buzz is kinda short lived and then.....because alcoholism is progressive, it comes to be that it takes more alcohol to achieve that buzz, tolerance goes up (as with any drug) and it takes more and more to achieve the 'buzz'. At some point, we don't even REALLY get that buzz anymore but by that time we are ADDICTED....and that's when the REAL trouble begins.
No one EVER sets out to be an alcoholic BUT alcohol IS addictive and ANYONE who drinks often enough or long enough will eventually become addicted to the substance of alcohol. No one ever starts out addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, heroin, cocaine, meth, whatever - but we BECOME addicted with use. ALL of us at SOME point will become addicted if we expose or ingest an addictive substance over a period of time - be it alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine, meth, etc., etc.
all that being said - I admire You for coming here - the very first step to recovery of any kind is to realize something is amiss.
No one EVER sets out to be an alcoholic BUT alcohol IS addictive and ANYONE who drinks often enough or long enough will eventually become addicted to the substance of alcohol. No one ever starts out addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, heroin, cocaine, meth, whatever - but we BECOME addicted with use. ALL of us at SOME point will become addicted if we expose or ingest an addictive substance over a period of time - be it alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine, meth, etc., etc.
all that being said - I admire You for coming here - the very first step to recovery of any kind is to realize something is amiss.
no worries:) I appreciate the support.
Yeah I know I'm an alcoholic...it's just so hard to admit...I always thought of an alcoholic as someone falling down drunk.. a person who blacks out and drinks everyday...etc....I never did that so I have told myself that I am not like that so I maybe I'm not REALLY an alcoholic... I'm sorry to say that I was ashamed to admit that I was... .How stupid!! and silly...because I have helped others with their own demons...and never once judged them or thought less of them..and I would tell them how I admired their strength and courage...funny how I can't do that for myself..I can't be as good a friend to myself than I am to others:/
I've always known i had a problem...( I suspect we all do) right? I mean I'm not stupid..I know my friends family husband don't drink to get drunk ) but I do... I guess the hard part is admitting that I have a problem that I can't control to others.....at least it is for me:( although...maybe they already know..I'm sorry for going on and on..I talk a lot normally...and it's nice to get this all out...:)
to be honest I'm a little worried about a trip I am taking in a week or so...I will be by myself in a city known for it's wild party kind of ways...I have to go...I have no choice...I think that is going to be a tough one for me...I guess I won't dwell on something that hasn't even happened yet :)
Addiction does run in my family for sure...
Congratulations on 27 years...I think that's great!
Yeah I know I'm an alcoholic...it's just so hard to admit...I always thought of an alcoholic as someone falling down drunk.. a person who blacks out and drinks everyday...etc....I never did that so I have told myself that I am not like that so I maybe I'm not REALLY an alcoholic... I'm sorry to say that I was ashamed to admit that I was... .How stupid!! and silly...because I have helped others with their own demons...and never once judged them or thought less of them..and I would tell them how I admired their strength and courage...funny how I can't do that for myself..I can't be as good a friend to myself than I am to others:/
I've always known i had a problem...( I suspect we all do) right? I mean I'm not stupid..I know my friends family husband don't drink to get drunk ) but I do... I guess the hard part is admitting that I have a problem that I can't control to others.....at least it is for me:( although...maybe they already know..I'm sorry for going on and on..I talk a lot normally...and it's nice to get this all out...:)
to be honest I'm a little worried about a trip I am taking in a week or so...I will be by myself in a city known for it's wild party kind of ways...I have to go...I have no choice...I think that is going to be a tough one for me...I guess I won't dwell on something that hasn't even happened yet :)
Addiction does run in my family for sure...
Congratulations on 27 years...I think that's great!
Hi B,
Actually I should have waited for your permission to post this instead of barging right in and doing it for you. Thank you for not being angry.
Yep, talking out loud with like minded people is what it is all about. There is not much, collectively, we have not heard or experienced ourselves in some way.
So You Like the Buzz you get from the alcohol high....and find it hard to stop once you have started? Well, girlfriend, join the club. Every one here understands exactly where you are coming from.
Who knows why we are alcoholics....and I am afraid to say B, you are one also. Maybe it is inherent in our genes. Alcoholics are believed to have a genetic predisposition to this disease( maybe someone in your family ?)
I do not know the answer, all I know is we Can not drink like those who are not alcoholics. Frankly if they enjoyed it and craved it as much they would also be Alcoholics. That is the problem we just cannot let go of that "Place" it allows us to go to.
I also do know the only way to be free of alcohol's pull on us is to STOP drinking--EVER. No --"maybe weekends, maybe a party, maybe with girlfriends, maybe on Fridays"--God we could go on finding ways to continue to drink and hopefully convince ourselves we are not drunks.
Nope we are DRUNKS!
Thing is , recovering alcoholics , are very special people. Yes, we have been given a profound gift when we achieve a sober life. We have become higher beings in that we know ourselves better, we are more tolerant of others, and we have learned Humility. I believe this makes us so much better than we were before.
I have been sober for 27 years, and I can tell you I was really the "B" word. Selfish and self-centered. No More, I ended on my knees begging for the strength to stop I have the Utmost respect and admiration for recovering alcoholics .They are truly enlightened beings.
Please keep posting, you have people here who understand!
CML
Actually I should have waited for your permission to post this instead of barging right in and doing it for you. Thank you for not being angry.
Yep, talking out loud with like minded people is what it is all about. There is not much, collectively, we have not heard or experienced ourselves in some way.
So You Like the Buzz you get from the alcohol high....and find it hard to stop once you have started? Well, girlfriend, join the club. Every one here understands exactly where you are coming from.
Who knows why we are alcoholics....and I am afraid to say B, you are one also. Maybe it is inherent in our genes. Alcoholics are believed to have a genetic predisposition to this disease( maybe someone in your family ?)
I do not know the answer, all I know is we Can not drink like those who are not alcoholics. Frankly if they enjoyed it and craved it as much they would also be Alcoholics. That is the problem we just cannot let go of that "Place" it allows us to go to.
I also do know the only way to be free of alcohol's pull on us is to STOP drinking--EVER. No --"maybe weekends, maybe a party, maybe with girlfriends, maybe on Fridays"--God we could go on finding ways to continue to drink and hopefully convince ourselves we are not drunks.
Nope we are DRUNKS!
Thing is , recovering alcoholics , are very special people. Yes, we have been given a profound gift when we achieve a sober life. We have become higher beings in that we know ourselves better, we are more tolerant of others, and we have learned Humility. I believe this makes us so much better than we were before.
I have been sober for 27 years, and I can tell you I was really the "B" word. Selfish and self-centered. No More, I ended on my knees begging for the strength to stop I have the Utmost respect and admiration for recovering alcoholics .They are truly enlightened beings.
Please keep posting, you have people here who understand!
CML
Thank you CML
Feeling pretty good today. I had a good nights sleep and the sun is shining. It's odd to me that when I am aware of the fact that I am trying not to drink it makes me want to more? If I'm not thinking about it I can just go about my day. I never have or do I want to drink during the day. When I'm thinking about how I shouldn't drink as often as I have been or maybe even never at all...it gets into my head..and I want to? I'll tell myself...you can have some beer this weekend...maybe go out for drinks and appetizers have some fun.....etc...( y husband has never been much of a drinker and will have one two at most ..only occasionally..or when I drag him out with me...Also I find myself giving myself excuses..like" it's the weekend..I should be able to go out and relax have a couple beers..etc..
I think I also convince myself that I can control it. Because I won't drink if I have something important or I need to be somewhere or out to dinner with family etc...it doesn't even cross my mind. But when I start thinking I can't or I shouldn't...that's when I really want one...It seems that I will...also I tell myself that I deserve to get out and have fun be around people etc...when I worked outside the home..I never drank during the week..I had to function..also I think since my children have gotten older...(both in middle school)I found that I want to drink more often...when they were young it was so busy and I had to function 100 percent..be on and focused...I volunteered at school...etc..maybe boredom has a factor..? not really boredom because I have plenty to do around here...IDK...I guess I'm fooling myself...because I want to drink when I'm in a good mood and happy etc..as well..so I guess it's not necessarily an escape...I guess it's way more complicated than I thought...Thx for letting me vent or think out loud so to speak.:)
Feeling pretty good today. I had a good nights sleep and the sun is shining. It's odd to me that when I am aware of the fact that I am trying not to drink it makes me want to more? If I'm not thinking about it I can just go about my day. I never have or do I want to drink during the day. When I'm thinking about how I shouldn't drink as often as I have been or maybe even never at all...it gets into my head..and I want to? I'll tell myself...you can have some beer this weekend...maybe go out for drinks and appetizers have some fun.....etc...( y husband has never been much of a drinker and will have one two at most ..only occasionally..or when I drag him out with me...Also I find myself giving myself excuses..like" it's the weekend..I should be able to go out and relax have a couple beers..etc..
I think I also convince myself that I can control it. Because I won't drink if I have something important or I need to be somewhere or out to dinner with family etc...it doesn't even cross my mind. But when I start thinking I can't or I shouldn't...that's when I really want one...It seems that I will...also I tell myself that I deserve to get out and have fun be around people etc...when I worked outside the home..I never drank during the week..I had to function..also I think since my children have gotten older...(both in middle school)I found that I want to drink more often...when they were young it was so busy and I had to function 100 percent..be on and focused...I volunteered at school...etc..maybe boredom has a factor..? not really boredom because I have plenty to do around here...IDK...I guess I'm fooling myself...because I want to drink when I'm in a good mood and happy etc..as well..so I guess it's not necessarily an escape...I guess it's way more complicated than I thought...Thx for letting me vent or think out loud so to speak.:)
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Alcoholism Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
