Wife has taken new step into drinking

Ok, I thought I would post this here as most of the posts are old and just needed somewhere to talk.  My wife and I have been married for 15 years and she has drank alot during the whole time we have been married, but never to the length of what it has become recently.

She only drinks wine and beer, but will never stop at just one drink, if the wine bottle opens the first glass will be a normal 8oz then the next is double, and the next the whole glass ( and this is not a small wine glass) until the bottle is gone.  Beer is the same way, open one drink it, then the next time its 2 beers in one big glass, until its 7 - 8 in one sitting.
lately she has been buying 2 32oz beers on friday and drinking between the time she gets home 3pm and the time I get home 5- 5:30 then drinking 2 or 3 more.  The reason I know what she has been doing is we have 12 year old son and 9 year old daughter who go with her everywhere, they tell me what she buys.

Over the last 2 weeks she has slowed down on the beer and wine, and she started carrying around a big jug called a "bubba keg"  which hold almost 40 oz of liquid, she said she is trying to start drink more water and less soda, and she has clear liquid with ice in it.

Well I should have known that it was not just water, last night night I was looking for some cables in my wifes and my closet and found hidden, two vokda bottle, one empty and the other half empty.  So this is her drinking more "water" it really scares me as this is a new step into drinking as she never touched hard liquor before.  I don't know what to do.  
Thanks for listen

[more0then0a0virus]

    It sounds as addiction. Inability to stop after first drink... and lying, hiding so she could keep her drinking habits...
    Google sings of alcoholism. There are three fazes: 1)drinking at parties 2)psychological addiction 3)physical damage.

    Have you ever talked to her? How did she react? If she gets mad when you ask her, it is also one of the sings. Firstly, she needs to except the problem and admit it ti herself.
    I suggest you to talk to her calmly. Explain your concerns. I guess her first reaction will be denying.
     This is my idea: Then manipulate her somehow to search sings of alcoholism without telling her you already searched it. Try to tell her: "OK. Maybe I am overreacting but it would mean so much to me if you googled symptoms. Just to be sure". If she does that, it might prompt her to think and stay in her sub-conscience... That worked for me...
     She needs to accept here situation and then go further.

     Even though this is substance abuse community, some family experiences w/addiction are present. It might help you to see bigger picture...
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Need-help/show/1525069?personal_page_id=2139402

Hope everything`s gonna be OK...

[more0then0a0virus]

I sent you a message w/ist of alcoholism sings  (it is in your medhelp inbox, link is near "Logout" on the top of the page in right corner)

[more0then0a0virus]

I didn`t want to send me a last post, but to you - nitramroneedshelp. Sorry, i`m kind of impulsive...

[nitramroneedshelp]

Just an update came home tonight and a 1/4 bottle of Vodka gone.  Anyone have a suggestion

[more0then0a0virus]

    She probably doesn`t see what she does to herself. She is not aware of the problem. And she needs to be. it`s a first step.
    So, decide what`s best for you:
1. You can talk to her with a risk she will get mad and reject you and you will be fighting often, And it will be a misery for some time. But if you promt her to  accept her problem, it will be worth of it. Or she will lie to you she quits and nothing will change, except she will not like you because you fuss about
"everything".
2. you can not to talk to her, let her ruin herself, but have a nice relationship with her on the surface-because alcohol can make her neglect you and kids. And let her be a bad example and tragical memory to your kids. After all, that`s her life and she makes decisions. That`s her right.

   You can hide alcohol, you can do thousand things, but if she wants to drink, there is no help. Quitting can be only her fight.
   That much of vodka is near 6 standard drinks... And that`s a lot. At least experts say so, even though for me that`s a normal quantity...
    
     I`m sorry, but it`s the way it is... It is rad for you, so think about what you are going to do.

[more0then0a0virus]

rad=hard

[ibizan]

It is very obvious that ur wife has a serious drinking problem!how old r ur children?if she is not going to go for help than u need to go......I suggest u find some good al-anon meetings to go to......plus find a good licensed substance abuse counselor and get started!You have young children!does she drive drunk w/them in the car?

[nitramroneedshelp]

My children are 12 and 9,  the older is very aware of what is going on, and yes I know she has driven drunk in the car with them,  but does not seem to worry about it.  The biggest problem I have with trying to get the children out of there is, there is no real proof, no DWI/DUI nothing that has caused legal issues, and its her word against mine, if I start divorce proceedings they kids will end up with her anyway, which is no better than whats going on right now.  The way it is right now, I can at least protect them some.

I tried approce one from morethanvirus and it happened just like he said,  so will be approach two from now on, and try to keep the kids as protected as possible.

Thanks for all the input, it does help talking about this finally

[rpooo]

Wow, you sure have allot going on there. I have allot of concerns about your wife’s heath. 15 years of drinking is a long time. Does she go for annual physicals? My biggest concerns of coarse are your children. They are growing up in an environment where there mom is drinking every minute they see her. I’m sure she loves them very much and you as well but she needs to realize how her drinking effects the entire family. Yourself included. I myself spent the last 20 years of my life drinking. I am 39. Last year I was diagnosed with end stage cirrhosis. How much longer are you going to wait to do something about this? The rest of the family is fully functional and her drinking is effecting it in so many different ways. She knows deep down inside that what she's doing is wrong, yet day after day you have stood by and allowed it to continue. Alcoholism is a very powerful disease. Think about it man, talk to her. She needs your help. If down the road she ends up in my shoes how are you going to feel having allowed this to continue. How difficult will it be for the kids? Show her Medhelp. Get her to a doctor for blood work. Get her to AA to get the extra help she needs. If you honestly didn't know these things then do as Ibizan suggested. I really really wish you and your family the best. God bless you

Randy

[ibizan]

U can tell ur kids that do not have to get in the car w/mom when she's been drinking.....these kids r smart and they know whats going on!u r so right to protect them as a #1 priority until she removes the blinders 2 her alcoholism!gotta keep them safe!

[dominosarah]

Family members put so much time and energy into the alcoholic that you end up not taking care of you.  It is time to let your wife continue to self destruct on her own and get yourself healthy.  I know that sounds cruel but there is nothing you can do for her right now.  She has to be the one to take the first step.  I would highly recommend Alanon or some type of counseling for you and the children.  This is affecting their lives more than you know.  You have all learned coping skills and not all are healthy ones.  Family members take the brunt of our addiction.

Is there someplace the kids can go when you arent home?  If she is driving with them in the car drunk that is SO dangerous.  If that was my wife or husband i would call the cops but that is just me.  I wouldnt protect her anymore.  I hope and pray she will end this insanity and get some help.  Until that happens please look into some sort of help for the rest of you.  You dont deserve this, what you do deserve is some peace in your life~~~sara

[more0then0a0virus]

       I agree with Ibizan, You should leave. But before that try to find some evidences, like bills which proves she buys alcohol often.
        You are in tough situation, and it`s like you have to choose between your wife ad kids. You can help her, but only if she wants to get help. And if she doesn`t, it can leave permanent damage on your kids.
        If you are willing to take a HUGE risk and stay with her,for now try not to push her to much with alcoholism theme because she could start drinking even more to run away from the fact she has a problem.
        Wait few days, and then try to approach her supportive. She needs to know you are here for her and that you don`t judge her and stuff. You are just afraid of what might happen to her and your kids if she continues to drink.
        Maybe you should ask her to stop drinking on one-three months and as an excuse, you can use you don`t want her to damage her liver and die, so it`s best for her to stop on one period of time. Just so that her liver can regenerate because you want to grow old with her. She probably won`t succeed. And that`s another prove.

[dominosarah]

ibizan was talking about going to some sort of aftercare, not leaving her at this point.  When she is ready to stop drinking she WILL succeed.  

[more0then0a0virus]

     She said: "if she is not going to go for help than u need to go...". Never mind, i probably misunderstood.
     But i do think he can leave.
     It`s her life. She has a right do what she wants, and if nitramroneedshelp can`t accept her (i `m not saying that`s a good or bad thing), which is his right, and can`t enjoy his life because of her drinking, he should just go. Why should he waste his time on being worried all the time? I see it like that.
      Marriage is a relationship of two. And both of them have to make some scarifies. And she doesn`t want to. Why should he? He doesn`t have to, but obviously he wants to do that because he loves her... It makes him loyal. He have a choice to stay or leave. It`s all i`m saying.

    And yeah, she can stop, but who knows when she will be ready, but i hope it will happen soon... Because of kids and nitramroneedshelp...

[ibizan]

What i said was for him to seek help via counseling al-anon and to do his best 2 keep his kids safe!We all know he's not going to desert her or leave ASAP....15 years married folks just don't up and do that even if they have grounds to...they stay and give it 150% effort...and if other 1/2 still doesn't budge....then there are many choices 2 b made!

[more0then0a0virus]

To:ibizan
Yeah, I know he is not going to do that. But I want him to be aware of all options, because if you remember the situation w/Babygames... She was so bitter because of his alcoholic ex-husband...

To: nitramroneedshelp
Do you have some plan? What are you going to do?

[rpooo]

Well said Ibizan and when he speaks with her about this she will respond with first anger but eventually understanding. It takes a good person to stay in a marriage for 15 years raising two children and a job. Thats alot of stress day after day and year after year. Hang in there my new friend it's like I mentioned, she knows deep down she's not right. Just be ready to answer her questions such as "what does it hurt?" or "why is it now a problem?" The best time to approach her with your issue will be when she is not drinking. Be thoughtful and sensitive to her feelings but also be firm about the drinking.

[more0then0a0virus]

        rpooo made some good points...

         I suggest you to keep talking to us... some of us(I don`t have so much experience, so I should say "them") have some ideas how to handle the situation...
        And when your wife become aware of her problem, suggest her to post on MedHelp. It maybe doesn`t seem that way for her, but talking is really useful... She could get some good suggestions how to stay sober... And then tell her that`s not humiliating, because she will just share her experience with others who survived that...
          Feel free to tell us what`s going on... We (I guess, or just I) would like to know how it`s going...
           And I will PM you now...

[nitramroneedshelp]

Well last night was a strange night, there was no drinking and things in the house were actually calm.

My plan right now is just to take care of my kids, I am going to let her work it out on her own.  Me complaining about it and making comments about it has made it worst for the kids, I understand that now.  So protecting the kids is my main priority in this now.

But I have also decided also not to clean up after her anymore,  there will be no help if she gets drunk and falls down, or goes over to one of her friends house and gets too drunk and can't get home.  I will get the kids but will not take her home, let the people that gave her the stuff take care of her.  Its really the only thing I can do right now.

Thanks for all the support, I am a person who hates asking for help.  I feel I can handle everything myself, but realize this is beyond me now.

[more0then0a0virus]

My opinion is that these are are good choices... Hope you do well and best of luck... If you had any problems, feel free to post here again. Someone will answer you... Bye...

[rpooo]

It sounds like you have put together a good plan. I am really glad you asked for help rather than to allow this to continue as it was. Also I am happy to hear the her reaction to this was not drinking. Stopping drinking is very difficult for people. She might need your help and support as far as encouragement not to drink. Talking to her about AA. Life can be really hard at times and offering support to our loved ones is something we all do and need sometimes. Remember nobody is perfect not even you. Apparently you have allowed this to go on for your children’s entire lives. So if you don’t mind me asking, why now are you realizing change is needed? Did you really never think the drinking would get worse? I just want to make sure you understand parenting is 50/50 and so is marriage. So I’m not sure that just leaving her stranded around a bunch of people drunk is the way you should handle treating someone you love for 15 years. Lessons can be taught using more creative ways. For instance, tomorrow night is Friday, I would imagine she likes to tie one on for Friday nights. So attempt to make plans doing something for you and her before she has a chance to go off partying.

You both should be aware that stopping drinking without tapering down slowly be dangerous do to the with drawls from the alcohol. It can in some cases lead to death. I just up and stopped and I have heard of a few others  that have done that as well. You and her will need to monitor how she is feeling and for fever. Best wishes! Randy

[nitramroneedshelp]

I guess I was kind of denying it up to now,  at the beginning it was just drinking on the weekends, what I would call heavy (4 - 5 beers in one sitting, If I drink its only 1 or 2) but there was not getting staggering drunk, no getting sick from drinking.

It was not until about 4 years ago that the drinking had started to pick up.  Thats when I noticed that when we go somewhere for a xmas party or such, she would drink 2 - 3 glasses of wine or beer to everyones one.  She also started drinking to the point of being fall down drunk, and/or getting sick, this only happened on the weekends, not during the week.  Plus during this whole time I have been trying to get her to slow down or stop, but that just causes more arguments

About 2 years ago, the drinking stayed on the weekend, but she started hiding the bottles and started lying about what she was drinking,  thats when she started buying the 2 32oz bottles of beer, drink them before I would get home, and the drink one or two regular beers like she had only drank them. I started confronting her and it just caused more problems, more arguements, so I just let it go.  

Even with all this, she never touched hard liquor, in fact she said she hated it.  Thats what triggered this posting, I found empty vodka bottles in the closet and she was drinking all weekend and then into the week, she works at a school so they are now off for summer, and lying about not drinking anything.

I know I am not the perfect husband, I don't think anyone is.  But I do alot more than most of the husbands we know do, and I cook alot of the dinners, get the kids to their soccer games, never missed one unless I had to be at another game. Plus having to work everyday.  

So I guess after reading this again, I have just had enough and the vodka was a trigger point that was the straw that finally broke the camels back.  I don't want to put up with it anymore and don't think I have to.  
  

[rpooo]

Oh I was under the impression you still wanted to save your marriage. Is this not true? Are you wanting out of the marriage?

Randy

[more0then0a0virus]

     I got impression you are trying to put your kids in front of your wife. And that`s OK.

    What do you mean by your last sentence? You want to get out of marriage, like rpooo thinks, or you want to put some boundaries?

     i THINK you need to be some kind of support for her if you want to make this work. Like rpoo said: "Be thoughtful and sensitive to her feelings but also be firm about the drinking"
    Kids need their mother... And if there is any chance to have her, MAYBE you should try... But i don`t know. Although, you have a right to make you own decision...

      You are probably confused, but you have to know what you want. Take some(but not too much) time, because it`s hard decision and you could regret it. Do you want to  try to make your family functional, or you are just giving up on your wife? Again, MAYBE you should give her a chance. At least one. But, I don`t know...
       Think about it... Decide what are you going to do...

[Jaybay]

Your wife sounds a great deal like my husband.  Over the course of our 25 years together, he worked up to over a case of beer a day and stayed there for over two years.  That on top of opiate abuse.  No matter how bad the news is on his liver function tests, he can't give it up alcohol completely and now resorts to binge drinking on the weekends and gives himself a gold star for not drinking a few days in between. I think the increased consumption sneaks up on the alcoholic every bit as much as it sneaks up on the rest of the family.  In my opinion, I don't think it matters much just when you realized her drinking became a problem for you.  The point is that you know it NOW and you know it's causing trouble for your entire family.

You definitely need support from people who have been in your position.  Try out some Al-anon meetings.  You don't have to speak but you may learn some things to help you cope.  Same for your kids - AlaTeen would be helpful for them to learn how to say NO to their mother when she wants to drive them somewhere while she's drunk.  Living with an alcoholic is all about learning how to set personal boundaries so that the alcoholic can cause less harm to the non-drinkers.  It's also about knowing what you can control vs. what you can't.  You can't control your wife's drinking.  She's the only one who can do that. There are other things you and the kids can to to keep your lives from spinning down the drain along with her.  Maybe that means leaving her.  Maybe it doesn't.  

You want to support her recovery but not her addiction.  That's a tough thing to do.  Of course she's going to resort to anger and arguments when confronted with her drinking!  That's been her manipulation technique for years to keep you off her back.  Oooh!  The scary drunk might get mad and throw a temper tantrum if you take away the car keys!  Big deal.  Better an argument than her being dead and maybe the kids along with her.  It's not always easy or even possible, but if you can, try to stick to your rules and above all stay calm when dealing with a drunk.  It's kind of like arguing with a 2-year-old.  If you engage in their form of logic, you'll lose every time.

Alcoholism and addiction don't come out of thin air.  Ask anyone with long-term sobriety and there's always a reason for it.  There's always something overwhelming in life that they tried to shut out with alcohol or drugs and they may not have even been aware of it at the time it all began.  Using drugs and/or alcohol works great in the short-term to stop those feelings and soothe anxiety but whatever the issue is, it always comes back with the hangover.  It's the psychological aspect that needs to be worked on even more than abstaining from the substance of abuse.  If your wife ever gets serious about sobriety she's going to need some therapy to be successful whether it's with a private therapist or with a group like AA - preferably both.  Ultimately, she has to be the one to do it.  

You and your children are going to need a lot of internal fortitude and outside support to get through this whether the marriage is salvageable or not.  Counseling can be tough.  We learn things about ourselves we don't always like to hear but if you stick with it your life will be a whole lot better and you won't feel so isolated.  I'm terrible about isolating myself and it's a huge struggle not to just sit here and watch my life drain away.  Please, for the love of God and your family, don't let that happen to you.

[more0then0a0virus]

Is everything OK? You haven`t been here for a while...

Share your thoughts. I think nobody judges you, we are just trying to do our best to help you somehow... So that you don`t regret your decision later. We are showing you your situation from different perspectives...

[dominosarah]

Have you stopped drinking?

[more0then0a0virus]

     I don`t know if I should be honest here... But, I will.
     Long story shorted, I`ve reduced it. Today is my third day without alcohol. And I guess this time I`ll succeed to stop completely...
     But who knows? I can`t trust myself... I`m phlegmatic about it.

[ibizan]

reduction of the alcohol is good...but have u stopped the pot use?i wonder why u keep posting to nitro giving him advice when u seem unable to face your own problems....its like focusing on anothers problem while u don't tackle yours head on....easier to give advice than 2 follow it urself!

[more0then0a0virus]

Because if someone has a chance/wants to quit, he should do that...
And I DON`T want to talk about it. After all, this is nitramro˙`s discussion...

[dominosarah]

Honesty is how we work around here.  If we are going to talk the talk we also have to walk the walk.  Denial is a big hurdle to get over.  Hopefully you will get there at some point.  An elderly man once told me to take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth~~

[more0then0a0virus]

          OK, maybe i don`t have a right to talk... And I don`t want to bother anyone and I don`t want to argue, and because you have a problem with the fact i post comments, i won`t do it anymore at communities connected to addiction, if you want to. i will even delete my account as soon as I end up few discussion unrelated to this subject... Would that be OK?  
         As much as I can remember, we discussed my situation, and i`m grateful for your help, but if your plan is to f*ck me in the brain, it`s better I`m not here... I know you are trying to help, but I`m not asking for help anymore... I am going to succeed in this, but I`ll rather do it my way,,, And if i won`t succeed, I don`t care in the moment.
       And please do not give me more advices. I know all and all is up to me. I need to do it by myself.
      And feel free to judge me because i`m miserable and stupid and have this way of seeing this, because i don`t care anymore. I`ve had enough.  

[dominosarah]

Doing it your way got you here in the first place.  I rest my case.

[ibizan]

if someone wants to quit he should have the chance to do that...nitramo is talking about his wife not himself!when someone confronts u with the obvious or truth u begin w/the self pity or self deprecating statements which will keep u right where ur at.....its simple...someone who is still drinking or using drugs can't give another sound advice about their wife's alcohol problem!

[more0then0a0virus]

To:dominosarah
       Thanks, I really appreciate that...

      Surprisingly, I feel just fine doing it on my own. This few days were really amazing even without alcohol. That is why i didn`t want to talk to you. Too much thinking makes me depressed. And i don`t want to be depressed because then I won`t succeed in this.
___________________________________________________________________
To:ibizan
       i know he is talking about his wife, but he didn`t tell us what was happening in detail. And maybe she wants to get help.
        
         i "self pity" myself because i predict your reaction, and that`s my way of defending myself.
        
        Actually, I think i made some good points. And my personal experience can help someone to see what is like. Or my objective aspect...
        I`m not saying I`m right whole the time. But I believe viewing situation from different position can only help... And I have a right to express my opinion too.

      But I won`t. Because "arguing" with you is pointless, and it doesn`t help me at all. It fills me with negative energy. Your approach doesn`t suit me.  
      Anyways, I appreciate your honesty...
_________________________________________________________________
P.S. I sent request for deleting my account. When will that happen?  

[ibizan]

I'm glad to see you've taken some steps to address ur alcohol issue....u have made some good points.....and so have we.....the BIG thing about recovery is ur fellow comrades can confront u when needed and u take it as constructive feedback and do not run......not a one of us here have done it alone...and in time u will see that will not work for u.A moderator should get back 2 u soon about deleting ur account!

[more0then0a0virus]

To:ibizan
       OK, thanks...

        Maybe it won`t work, but for now, I`m feeling great. I haven`t enjoy in music so much and now I`m so passionate about it.
        I`m anxious only at night, my parents have asked me if i would like to have a beer, I said no, and everything is just perfect...  I`m not worried or scared at all... It`s like I`m on LSD the whole time...
         I know I`m running away... That`s the way I do it. I think I should enjoy as much as I can now and I don`t enjoy this kind of discussions, and i see it as the waste of time.
    
To: all
      After all, this is not my, then somebody else`s(nitro`s) discussion... So, I don`t want to waste his space anymore...
      Best wishes to all of you...

[ibizan]

for someone who doesn't enjoy THIS type of discussion u have posted a zillion times discussing it!U r a cyber posting contradiction!there was a good program on PBS 2 weeks ago.......about the 12 steps of AA...and they were interviewing sober alcoholics who each have a different interpretation of how they work the steps..Each of them said when they were active in their addiction they had what is known as The King Baby Syndrome!"oh wahhhhhh no one understands me,the world revolves around me......don't u dare confront me and make me take a look at myself...i chuckled cuz i used to be King Baby...and sometimes in my head can go there...but i look at all the pain and problems in this world and my internal wahhhhhhhing is  so stupid if i died tomorrow the world would go on minus me.....maybe someday u will see ur own and correct what needs to be corrected!

[more0then0a0virus]

I wanted to know then... But now i know. So... That`s the difference.

I am full of contradictions. That`s who I am. And if you have a problem with that, why are you talking with me at all? Ignore me.

     I don`t think no one understands me, but I think every person is individual and can`t relate to others completely.

    What the hell did I do to make you take a look at yourself?
    On the other hand, every person should be thinking about their attitude during the life. That`s how we spread our mind.
    And if i wanted to, i could make you question yourself because you do the same to me even if I said i want to be left alone... In my every little sentence you manage to find some flaw. I got impression you are trying to show me you are better then me and that I`m complete failure comparing to you. So, no offense, but f*ck off. I don`t like you anymore.

I am going to defend myself now. I`m in the mood. And I AM contradicting myself again... I would leave this subject to rest, but you obviously have something to say all the time. And I, obviously, always have an answer.

And can we put this discussion somewhere else if you have something else to say? I think this is not the place.

[dominosarah]

Here's a toast for you and i, "To our sobriety, thank God"~~~~

[ibizan]

it is physically impossible for me to have intercourse w/myself in the manner of which u mean!:)And u don't hafta like me....if i'm unintentionally irritating u then that means i've stimulated ur thoughts!I've been taught to take a searching and fearless moral inventory on a daily basis....several times a day if need be!then i can see if my attitude stinks...and if it does then my behavior does as well.One can be devoid of drinking or drug use,but if their behavior is the same...then its time to look in the mirror.

[more0then0a0virus]

      Yes, maybe you stimulated my thoughts...or maybe I got impression you are trying to force me to do everything your way. But i couldn`t avoid the feeling you thought I`m complete failure with wrong point of views, and stuff like that. I don`t really know...
       If so, i agree partly. Maybe I`m failure because what I am/was doing to myself, but not considering others. I respect human rights and I`m trying not to be rude unless someone is rude to me or jeopardizing my rights...
      And if my behavior stay the same, I can and doesn`t have to change it. I don`t have to be long-term happy. It`s my own organism and I have a right to make my own decisions. It`s my opinion...
       I have tried to be polite to you the whole the time, and all of that, but I came to conclusion it`s pointless. I don`t want to offend anyone. But I`m doing so great and I won`t let anyone, even you, to ruin that.
       Maybe I`m unusual but I don`t mean I`m wrong. I`m an individual, like every person, and I have my own idea how to handle this situation. There is a tiny chance I know myself better then you and know how I am going to manipulate myself... You have explained me what i didn`t know and i`m grateful for that... In our discussion you made some really good points...
    I`ve read 12 steps few weeks ago. It`s a base for this whole process, but I`m modulating it a bit because I don`t agree with everything.

   And this is my post in which i`m trying to say goodbye politely. Every one of you seem like a good person, but I guess I can`t agree with you... And that`s all. Wish you all the best, and stay strong...

P.S. No one replied me on my request for deleting my account. But never mind, because I don`t feel a need to run away anymore. If you make me angry, I`ll just ignore you :)
      And, please, don`t try to change my opinion now. I would like to leave it on "you are OK, but I have different attitude", if it`s not a problem...

Best wishes....

[ibizan]

No one makes us angry...no one sits atop us and forces an emotion on us...we choose it in our head!Best of luck to u....and try again to contact a moderator in getting ur account deleted!I will contact Emily who is a moderator who has helped me a great deal and ask for her to contact u to have ur account deleted!

[more0then0a0virus]

OK, thanks a lot

I followed some link few days ago, and selected "delete account", but nothing happened. You don`t have to contact anyone... I realized mood and sleep tracker could help me, so.... But thanks for offering your help...

Best of luck, and thanks again 4 everything...

[ibizan]

i did send Emily a pm and asked her to help u delete ur account!she's very good about getting back 2 me!and should b contacting u!

[Snow_angel442]

I've been shaking my head reading this---I was & am in your wife's shoes----She knows she has a problem by now-if she is hiding it-- Have you ever sat down--without being judmental---Just listen---remember ---what,where ,when & why--I still can,t talk to my husband toroughly about how it started & why--to him it's all in my head--I'm the one that decided to go to detox for a week---The ppl there were great---No one judged me  also remember her body will crave it---If my hubby pisses me off -the craving is high---I do still go on binges (usually beer) about every 3-4 weeks (p.m.s) & only 6 beers ( no excuses) compared to a 24 daily.---Something happened in her life to make alcool a cheap way to kill the pain. & easy to get------I always need Clamato in the fridge when I don't drink---(a new addiction) kind of feels like a drink--another good one for me is *tropicana banana,strawberry & pineapple juice* makes it feel like a tropical drink  --You wife is most likely depressed-& if your like my hubby don't understand what got her there--Alcool is her best friend. Your kids will need their mom & she will understand that. By the way she knows she needs help & is TERRIFIED to ask for it--or seek it. I was too--I put myself in 3 times (average) but I was so scared, so afraid of ppl I know seeing me there.& the majority of the time I`m the one that feels that my only way to stop is if my hubby was not in my way----right now I dare you to show this to your wife & see if she agrees with me---ALL I CAN SAY IS *IF OTHERS CAN DO IT SO CAN ME & YOUR WIFE* that was my saying when I gave birth to 3 beautiful kids--I just need my hubby to listen COMPLETELY-Don`t give up---You or your wife can private message me