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am i physically addicted

by broknbck, Jun 13, 2009 02:22PM
how do you know when you are physicaly addicted? i drink like every other day and spend the other one being hung over. i drink wayyyyy too much . i cannot sleep through the nite when i drink or the next day. i cannot stop moving my legs. and of course just sick. my heart rate is exbloding.
Member Comments (11)

by broknbck, Jun 13, 2009 08:30PM
is it really dangerous to just quit drinking at home? how do you know or measure how bad your addiction is to know. i am just not gonna drink period.

by boogieman, Jun 14, 2009 01:17AM
To: broknbck
hi. there are too many parameters involved and not enough info given to judge how safe it would be for you to attempt a self-detoxification. your best course of action would be to seek the advice of a competent physician, as they could evaluate you and possibly prescribe meds to help you through this process. in addition, staying sober is a whole different endeavor, and action must be taken for you to be successful. i highly recommend aa as a support system---it would make your chances of maintaining sobriety a lot better. best of luck,   gm

by ibizan, Jun 14, 2009 05:31AM
To: broknbck
i second boogiemans advice!

by cornczech, Jun 15, 2009 08:41AM
Dude-
I have sent you a few notes. I am sitting here in my glass tower, (o.k....right next to the big window in my study....) thinking about my life in the throes of trying to self medicate my anxiety and jebus knows what else, (I've been diagnosed through the years with a myriad of mental health labels), with a long list of chemical cocktails....alcohol and pot being just the latest in my long list. I can FEEL your pain, man....really feel it. I have denied my problems for years, (I am currently 42)...thinking I was just a result of X number of years of abuse....I am not longer BEING abused...but now I AM THE ABUSER......
So...what the hell am I trying to say.....get some help...don't get help....it is ultimately YOU that has to make the decision and do the work...and this ain't easy at all.....hell...I still drink, but in my f*ed up mind, I pat myself on my aching back thinking I am getting somewhere because I went from 8 - 10 beers a day to 2 beers on Mondays and Fridays...(and about 5 joints a day to prevent me from going LOUDLY insane....). THIS AIN'T easy, darlin' (and I mean that in a Southern, not mocking, way...) I wish I could just use a fist or a nasty name calling....but......nope.....not that easy and I don't know about you...but I am good at the easy stuff...like drinking and drugging...it's the living I am sucking at.....
I know I used the words "me" and "I" more than "you"...but I am hoping to use MY struggle as another "you -ain't - alone" stories......

Peace!  
DeAnna  **(-_-)**

by cornczech, Jun 15, 2009 08:45AM
oh...and when I said I am the abuser....(just in case this was not too clear) I meant that I was the abuser of myself.....(my 16 year old daughter said to me when she was 2 and I smacked her butt for something, "Don't you hit ME!!!!" I still laugh)
And listen to boogieman and a few of the others here...they know what they are talkin' about......

by broknbck, Jun 15, 2009 10:02AM
To: cornczech
yea it is just crazy here. i am this like organic freak. my diet is like all fresh veg, some fruit, organic meat, no processed foods. i roll my own organic tabbacco smokes. i take all kinds vitamins and herbs. i never take drugs, not even an aspirin for nothing and then i just beat the hell outta myself with alcohol.

hah, was thinking i am totally mentally stable. no stress ever or problems with anything.
but this is the actions of a schizo? but i am getting my **** together and see my wake up call. hhmmmff, can't wait to see what next adventure i have in life. hah

so to me it sounds like you are getting somewhere. i could never just sit down and drink only a couple of beers. but you are not at the somewhere you want to be. so i think this is going to be just like the drugs. i have to list all the reasons i have a drink in the first place and take care of each of those reasons to make sure i do not fall back into it again.

by cornczech, Jun 15, 2009 10:55AM
Good luck with THAT list.....I am a list maker too.....wait til you do the "Why I should/shouldn't kill myself" list......
My newest list is the one the sleep disorders clinic wants me to make....and the epilepsy specialist....do SOMETHING before you get to make MY kind of lists.........
I only stop because of brute force, (stop drinking at that set amount) I go to the store, (like I am fixin' to do now) and get my 2 beers...the 24 OZ Miller light...and one "special" 16 OZ...like right now I am into Fat Tire......I pour part of the fat Tire away....(I almost cry when I do so...but I do so before I even have my first drink of the fat Tire.....) and when I am finished....NO AMOUNT OF SCREAMING in my head will make me leave this house to go get more beer.....and sometimes I want to kick my OWN a$$ and go to the liquor store....but I don't...now....THAT'S when I smoke two joints in a row...NOT healthy...but I figure, (in my F*ed up alcoholic thinking) smoking is better than drinking until I get nasty, sloppy and pass out...but after 10 years of smoking, I get chronic coughs...so..I live in a damned if you do, and just DAMMIT world now......but for the now, I am alive.....I looked again at your profile....no age mentioned....I am in my early 40's....still young, so they say......but if you're younger....PLEASE, PLEASE do it now.....do what you gots to do...because death was starting to look really good to me when my brother died in July of last year and I couldn't do anything but drink my sorrow away....sad.

by broknbck, Jun 16, 2009 01:13PM
To: cornczech
so i am 46 here and not really in too bad of shape. i am feeling pretty good today and no drinking or thinking about it even. i don't think is going to be a really hard thing to do. the nightmare of being addicted to pills is still fresh and i do not want to go there again.

i am sorry that you have made the kill myself list. i did that one several years ago while on the drugs. and the shouldn'ts won. so i had to make some changes and get myself happy with myself. you see that was the problem. i was not happy with me. nor did i like me at all. and it is no one's responsibility to make me happy, except mine.

i got a divorce from a ****** marriage of 24 years. quit an awful job i hated everyday. moved all the way accross country. and quit the drugs. since then i have been very happy with me. i like me- until friday. so tomorrow is always another day and a new start. and i am already liking it.

by J_u_D_e, Jun 16, 2009 03:45PM
To: broknbck
From what have you posted, it seems that you are in the stage where you have been looking to drink everyday and it is a clear sign of alcohol addiction.  Alcoholism interventions will help a lot to keep you sober from drinking.  It may be good if you can start to attend alcohol abuse intervention so you can realize how destructive an alcoholic could be.

by broknbck, Jun 16, 2009 04:38PM
To: J_u_D_e
well to tell you the truth i have been drinking just for the fun of it. and yes it is way outta hand. this place i live at has a pool and it is nothing but a big party everyday. always meeting new people and since my job ended 2 weeks ago it has been alot of pool time. hah this place is like a resort and everyone is on vacation. there is music, grills cooking, drinks passed around and more sunshine and blue skies than you can imagine.

ahhh, so all 'good' things must come to an end. and there is such a thing as having too much fun.

so i am not sure exactly what these alcohol interventions are. but i have told my friends that i'm pretty sure i'm addicted to alcohol now and they have ALL agreed that i am outta hand and yes. so who is suppose to do it and what are they going to tell me?

so i am wanting to know how long till you are out of danger and can start hitting the mountains again. that is my favorite thing to do- mountain hiking and i am missing it already. have been keeping busy rearranging my apt for a son who is moving in here in a couple of weeks. but that is almost done now.

by cornczech, Jun 16, 2009 07:25PM
I spoke informally to my father about that list...seems my weird thinking could be a form of a seizure...I had one this am...small...then for 4 hours or so afterwards< I was almost crawling outside my skin with uncomfortable feelings and thoughts....my list is...well..I dunno...not just oh I am so depressed....I am tired of all the medical issues...the illness...the fighting...my entire life...a fight...so....my list is just that....a bit of paper


ciao
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