This community is for questions and support for people with, or for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit. The forum covers topics ranging from
Health Issues, How to Quit, Reasons to Quit, Relapse Prevention, Friend and Family Support.
I have sent you a few notes. I am sitting here in my glass tower, (o.k....right next to the big window in my study....) thinking about my life in the throes of trying to self medicate my anxiety and jebus knows what else, (I've been diagnosed through the years with a myriad of mental health labels), with a long list of chemical cocktails....alcohol and pot being just the latest in my long list. I can FEEL your pain, man....really feel it. I have denied my problems for years, (I am currently 42)...thinking I was just a result of X number of years of abuse....I am not longer BEING abused...but now I AM THE ABUSER......
So...what the hell am I trying to say.....get some help...don't get help....it is ultimately YOU that has to make the decision and do the work...and this ain't easy at all.....hell...I still drink, but in my f*ed up mind, I pat myself on my aching back thinking I am getting somewhere because I went from 8 - 10 beers a day to 2 beers on Mondays and Fridays...(and about 5 joints a day to prevent me from going LOUDLY insane....). THIS AIN'T easy, darlin' (and I mean that in a Southern, not mocking, way...) I wish I could just use a fist or a nasty name calling....but......nope.....not that easy and I don't know about you...but I am good at the easy stuff...like drinking and drugging...it's the living I am sucking at.....
I know I used the words "me" and "I" more than "you"...but I am hoping to use MY struggle as another "you -ain't - alone" stories......
Peace!
DeAnna **(-_-)**
And listen to boogieman and a few of the others here...they know what they are talkin' about......
hah, was thinking i am totally mentally stable. no stress ever or problems with anything.
but this is the actions of a schizo? but i am getting my **** together and see my wake up call. hhmmmff, can't wait to see what next adventure i have in life. hah
so to me it sounds like you are getting somewhere. i could never just sit down and drink only a couple of beers. but you are not at the somewhere you want to be. so i think this is going to be just like the drugs. i have to list all the reasons i have a drink in the first place and take care of each of those reasons to make sure i do not fall back into it again.
My newest list is the one the sleep disorders clinic wants me to make....and the epilepsy specialist....do SOMETHING before you get to make MY kind of lists.........
I only stop because of brute force, (stop drinking at that set amount) I go to the store, (like I am fixin' to do now) and get my 2 beers...the 24 OZ Miller light...and one "special" 16 OZ...like right now I am into Fat Tire......I pour part of the fat Tire away....(I almost cry when I do so...but I do so before I even have my first drink of the fat Tire.....) and when I am finished....NO AMOUNT OF SCREAMING in my head will make me leave this house to go get more beer.....and sometimes I want to kick my OWN a$$ and go to the liquor store....but I don't...now....THAT'S when I smoke two joints in a row...NOT healthy...but I figure, (in my F*ed up alcoholic thinking) smoking is better than drinking until I get nasty, sloppy and pass out...but after 10 years of smoking, I get chronic coughs...so..I live in a damned if you do, and just DAMMIT world now......but for the now, I am alive.....I looked again at your profile....no age mentioned....I am in my early 40's....still young, so they say......but if you're younger....PLEASE, PLEASE do it now.....do what you gots to do...because death was starting to look really good to me when my brother died in July of last year and I couldn't do anything but drink my sorrow away....sad.
i am sorry that you have made the kill myself list. i did that one several years ago while on the drugs. and the shouldn'ts won. so i had to make some changes and get myself happy with myself. you see that was the problem. i was not happy with me. nor did i like me at all. and it is no one's responsibility to make me happy, except mine.
i got a divorce from a ****** marriage of 24 years. quit an awful job i hated everyday. moved all the way accross country. and quit the drugs. since then i have been very happy with me. i like me- until friday. so tomorrow is always another day and a new start. and i am already liking it.
ahhh, so all 'good' things must come to an end. and there is such a thing as having too much fun.
so i am not sure exactly what these alcohol interventions are. but i have told my friends that i'm pretty sure i'm addicted to alcohol now and they have ALL agreed that i am outta hand and yes. so who is suppose to do it and what are they going to tell me?
so i am wanting to know how long till you are out of danger and can start hitting the mountains again. that is my favorite thing to do- mountain hiking and i am missing it already. have been keeping busy rearranging my apt for a son who is moving in here in a couple of weeks. but that is almost done now.
ciao