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delving a little deeper
First, I want to say I have gotten a lot out of reading your posts.
Coincidently, I am reading a fiction novel about a woman who is an alcoholic and was a victim of childhood sexual abuse.  I am finding many parallels with myself and the fictional character.  Maybe I need counciling  about the past abuse.  I only remembered it when I was in my 30's.  I was four or younger.  I feel stupid because I am 54 yrs. old, why should this be part of my problem, I know it was not my fault, etc.. But I can see how it impacted my whole life, choices with men, my sexual life, maybe more.  Maybe something to do with my drinking.  I don't know.  
I guess I'm hoping if I found out why I drink, I could control it.  I'm sure everyone wants that, huh?
Oh well.
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Avatar_universal
women and men who try to deal with past sexual abuse and stopping drinking simultaneously do a double whammy on themselves.....the stopping drinking must come first.then to wait until u r emotionally stronger and at least 6 months into sobriety to address sexual abuse issues.....if and when u r really ready....not because u think u should...u know in your soul when u r ready and not because a therapist thinks u must!i like this adage...if it ain't that broke don't get in there and stir the pot and try to fix......time will tell!I've encountered many thru the years who have dealt with sexual abuse prematurely....it drove them back to the bottle or drugs.....sober first.......then the rest falls into place.........small piece by small piece!
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462570_tn?1273636577
I was sexually molested at age 5.  I am also a recovering alcoholic.  I can say from personal experience that the molestation didn't effect me in a negative way!  I was always concerned about it and would ask various counselors about it and had read that EVERYONE is effected by molestation and/or sexual abuse.  That is simply not true.  It didn't effect my choice in men, my sexual preferences or my performance OR my drinking.  I didn't drink cause I was molested.  I drank cause I was an alcoholic and didn't know how to live life.  (I am NOT suggesting that your situation DIDNT effect you - I'm only saying that it doesn't necessarily HAVE to!)
Take Care
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People will drink for many reasons, inability to cope with life in general, to things that happened to them as a child.  I was raped at the age of 5, and didn't remember until I was in my 30's and it was confirmed to me.  I don't feel like it affected me in any way, and I've never been a drinker.  But I did become depressed, and have taken medication for many years, with my psychiatrist saying that this was not the result of the rape.  I was losing loved ones left and right, and this was causing my depression.  Everyone is different, and you definitely need to find out why you feel this need to self medicate with alcohol.  You may think you've dealt with it okay, when in reality maybe you haven't, or it may have compounded by other problems in your life. Talk to someone who can help you through this, don't put any time lines on what you'll do when.  But get help and live a long happy life.
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455167_tn?1259261471
hi there. you have a lot more answers than it probably seems. the drinking is but a symptom of a much deeper condition of the mind, body and spirit for folks like you and me. these ladies have given you some very good advice and food for thought. once the drinking is arrested, we then become able to deal with some of our core issues. but as stated above, don't try to do it alone, and don't let time dictate your progress. this is not a race---thank god because i'm as slow and stubborn as they come. willingness, acceptance, and a thorough approach will do wonders. take care,   gm
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