did i screw myself?

I drank...ALOT, last Saturday. (1/2 a bottle of vodka and 6 beers) which I used to handle just fine but wow was I drunk. I feel, well Idk how I feel really but I was debating on whether or not to tell you all this because I'm kinda ashamed. Did I just completely screw myself up again? I can't get that feeling of utter happiness and confidence I had out of my mind. I miss being happy. I don't want to go threw all the **** I did before, I just don't know if I completely just messed up my sobriety?!                *sighs* I'm so confused

[dominosarah]

Sobriety isnt just about not drinking.  It is about self discovery~~sara

[healthierme2020]

Babe as long as you have breathe in you and determination, there is always hope. No one is perfect, but beleive me the feelings of confidence and happiness you experienced drinking were at best an illusion. And it seems as though you feel pretty crappy about it now that you are back in the real world. The tradeoff is never ever worth it.
Sobriety is a day at a time thing, sure you know that. So you may have lost the ability to say I have X amount of days, mos, yrs clean, but it's not the quantity that counts, its where you go from here. Best of luck. Inbox me if I can be of any help.

[Punkinhead75]

Sara's right about sobriety.  It is a journey in self discovery.  What are we discovering about ourselves today?  Can I stop on my own?  Can I stay stopped on my own?  What am I willing to do to be sober?  How many roadblocks am I going to throw up before I get out of my own way?

You are not alone.  Most of us have been where you are at and have felt the shame you feel.  It is part of the disease.  The alcoholism elevator only goes down when we drink.  It is up to you to figure out where you want to get off.

[lifeishardattimes]

Hi, been there done that! It's a good thing you are feeling guilt over giving into your weakness and that you're reaching out for support. You messed up, yes, but you didn't completey screw yourself up. You still have time and you can still make better choices.. knowing, just as we all know, that it is very possible to fall back into the bottomless pit and it's possible to fall so far you can't get back out next time. Just do your best.. I'm striving to do better as well. You are definitely not alone.

[Cici_xo]

I, for some reason, just feel like giving in and doing what I do best. Drinking. I feel like since I've already drank then who cares just do it.

[lifeishardattimes]

Those feelings are understandable.. be strong and find something else to do to fill your time. Always keep in mind what is right for you and what is wrong for you.. no matter what you do.. I've read many stories on this forum of young people who've already developed cirrosis (cirrhosis) of the liver and such.. scary stuff.. none of us are invincible..

[Cici_xo]

Well I already know I'm not invincible. I already have had many injuries, including nerve damage in my spine which has left me in constant severe pain. But thank you previous drug abuse they won't give me painkillers.   :(

[Punkinhead75]

It isn't about doing what we feel like doing.  It is about doing what is right.


Giving in is Good.  Give in and be sober.  Surrender and learn to live a new way.  It gets easier.