end stage of alcohoism?

[Katesimone]

my husband is 64 and has been a heavy drinker, vodka 1.75l every day and 1/2.most of his adult life.   he has had severe bleeds and was hospitalized a few times in the last 6 yrs. Told to STOP drinking. He did for a few months. He is now bed ridden, he is very dizzy, had a mild seizure yesterday, refused treatment by the EMTs, he is still drinking not eating except for some broth today. He is urinating in a bed pan and his urine is  dark reddish brown. I don't know what to do. He will not seek help. If I keep the vodka away he will die if I give it to him he will die. . Any suggestions? Im very upset. Its like Im watching this very educated man be so stupid. He is dying I know it and he thinks hes OK.

[kyle82]

Hi,

I think you are seriously under the gun because your husband is someone who you can never see you dying just because of something that he could quit.

I am sorry to hear what you told, but I think you should keep trying to persuade him with other things like outing, frank gossiping, and of course, suggestions regarding the ills of his habit but with caution. He is an educated guy as you said. So, be careful when talking about the issues. Please try to be positive towards him and be his constant company. I think you do this though. Best of luck!

[CML2014]

Hi Kate,

I really feel he needs a doctor. Dark urine is Blood in the urine, and Dark urine is a combo of kidney and liver dysfunction. I am not a doctor but this much I know.

You are experiencing what everyone, who lives and loves an alcoholic that refused to get sober, has gone through. Most are stubborn and do not want to see a doctor or go to the hospital. So he must decide where does he want to die .... at home?  If you are ok with this fine, but if you need him to be in a hospital for your peace of mind than you have to let him know it is no longer his choice. Alcoholism has taken his reasoning away from him.

You may need to wait until he passes out from alcohol then call EMT and have them transport him to the hospital I know it sounds sneaky, but you need to think of yourself and your family. You are not capable of taking care of his medical needs at home. He needs more than you can give.

....and like Tink says, he has not rebounded ...wishful thinking only.

I wish you and your husband all the best. Very sorry that you must go through this....it is the price we pay for loving and staying in a relationship with an alcoholic who made the choice to stay an alcoholic.

God Bless.
CML

[kelsie66]

my sister is an Alcoholic too  ! Your husband needs inpatient Detox immediately,where he can be given Librium and other meds . This can't be done at home , given how much he's been drinking ! Good Luck and Bless

[Katesimone]

Thank you for your wise words. You are righ, I know that he has NOT bounced back, he only has some renewed energy and he will fall again. He cant walk far without getting winded. He is still drinking. He believes hes OK because he can eat. Im making him comfortable and living my life. I am prepared for the worse. Thank you.again

[TTinKKerBBell]

(ibizan, I have utmost respect for YOU - 1000thanx for Your complimentary words)

Katesimone
I SO understand Your words "You're  angry that He is being careless with "OUR" life".  I SO get that!!  I do, I do (as in, been there, done that).

Personally, I've had much heartache and heartbreak in my own life - and I have secretly held that SAME thought (feeling) in my anguish.  "How dare You take MY life and turn it upside down and inside out, against my will and without my permission!!  This is MY life TOO.  How can You feel justified in doing this to me??!!"

After MANY years of anguish I came to realize:  He's not doing this to You.  He's doing this to HimSelf.  He has choices and SO DO YOU.  He is choosing to continue drinking and You are "choosing" to stay.  

I am not suggesting that You leave Him.  I am only suggesting that You realize You do have choices - and that You ARE making them.  You CAN leave OR You can stay.  You DO have choice.  No one is 'making' You stay but You.  I commend You either way because I know either choice is big.  Whatever You decide, You must try to realize which is the best decision for YOU.  Apparently, He will lose His life to His choices and Yours will go on - BUT You DO have choice NOW.  Please, believe that.  If You do maybe You won't feel so 'helpless'.  Maybe You will feel 'stronger' if You realize You ARE making choices.

P.S.
He hasn't "bounced" back.  He may have mustered some strength to rally HimSelf a bit - but He has not "recovered".  He WILL go down again.  Prepare YourSelf and do what You need to do for YOU.  I too suggest You go to al anon

[ibizan]

Tink gives the BEST advice:)ever been to Al-Anon?

[Katesimone]

he has bounced back.....for now. LOL He thinks hes superman. I am doing my daily rituals however it is really upsetting me. I know its not me, im angry he is being careless with OUR life. Thank you so much for your support. <3

[TTinKKerBBell]

The only thing You can "do" is seek support for YourSelf.

I understand You love Him, but this is not (and has never been) Yours to 'fix' - only He could ever have done that.

I would suggest You speak with a doctor on whether You should withhold the alcohol at this point.

I'm incredibly sorry You are on this journey.  My heart is heavy for You.

Regards,
Tink