i know im not good looking, but why cant i be accepted?

[detpiston7788]

im so depressed all the time because i just don't feel attractive. Im on zoloft (btw, i think the med is a joke) and im in thearapy.... My thearapist says this stuff of confidence, etc... But, i just dont buy what he says.. I have so much trouble meeting women... I tried facebook, messaging girls i used to go to school with, i get ignored there, and on plentyoffish.com, no luck there... I know im not attractive enough for a pretty lady, a pretty lady is too good for me.. But.. people keep asking why i dont date much etc.. and no one understands it.. I had women tell me im not ugly, but i just know its false. I hate this so much... What must i do about this? I used to drink every day for the past 7 years, but now im just down to one day a week... I still feel so worthless...I wish i was attractive, i wish women wouldnt hate me so much because of how i look  

[dominosarah]

Well i just looked at your pic and you are in no way unattractive.  You are a very nice looking man.  It sounds like you have some real insecurities about yourself and i am glad you are seeing a therapist.  Something is holding you back from believing in yourself as i see you said you think the zoloft is a joke and you dont buy what your therapist said.  Alcohol is a depressant and it will help if you quit doing this all together.  You dont need to hide behind a drink.  When you are talking to these women do you say you are not attractive?  When we dont feel good about ourselves that is how we come across to others.  Please keep talking to us here........You are important and hopefully you will be able to feel that at some point.          sara

[rod44]

The first thing that comes to mind when I read your post is insecurity and lack of confidence. A person looking for a life partner looks for so much more than good looks. As Sara said you need to believe in your self. Attraction is not just about looks it is about personality, honesty and friendliness.
We are what we think, if you think you are boring etc then this is what you will come across as.
Would you sit and listen to some one who is depressed or would you prefer to be around some one who is up beat and funny. Try to be bright and funny when commenting on these social networks, it is so much easer when you are not face to face, work on your confidence.
Drink will not help you to meet people, I tried that for twenty years and got nowhere, since I stopped drinking and found other ways of socialising I have made many female friends and I got engaged last year. don’t give up on yourself.

Ray.    

[ibizan]

i hate to see ppl talk about themselves like this....I also think trying to hook up with ppl over the internet is artificial and so many project false images about themselves....a few folks have made good connections but not many in my opinion!Life happens when one has other plans...and i'm a believer in what is meant to be will be....when u feel good about urself u will chance upon another who does.i am also a true believer that ppl should be very good friends b4 coming an item...many move too fast and there is that saying watch what u pray for u just might get it and ask to have it taken back!:)been there and done that and have learned so much!i've been told by many women and men that i'm weird march to the beat of a different drum blahblahblah......i'll never get anyone such rubbish!i'm not really looking anymore....I could write a book and just might.......am 54 and if the day comes when i chance upon someone who will be my friend and we have common interests...good and if not thats ok too.....I am one who does not wither if not having a partner.I thought i had found one after 10 years of being alone and long story short my trust was shattered to shards and stomped upon!What started out to be the most fun loving caring time ended up being so ugly.These things happen in life!It was painful but after i got over it i learned....again.....oh how i learned!u do not appear to be an ugly person so STOP that...ugly to me is an internal thing more than an external thing!Alcohol creates a false illusion...a bar is a meat market full of gameplayers....u will never meet a quality person in them!been there and done that years ago as well!:)

[dominosarah]

Dont put such an emphasis on "pretty".  That in itself comes with another set of issues.  It is alot of work to "look" pretty.  Take away the makeup and the fancy clothes and they sometimes look completely different.  Feeling good about yourself is what is important.  having to put on a show for others is way to much work.  When you start feeling better about yourself the doors will open and when you least expect it someone will walk into your life and knock your socks off!!!

[PinPinPatrick]

I think it's not how a person looks that attracts a woman to a man... it's what a man does that attracts a woman to a man, you don't need to worry about your looks, you just need to learn to do things differently, impress a woman... with your doubts and low self image of yourself, it's not helping at all, you need to get over that.

[broknbck]

well it is what i have been telling my kids for years. first you have to like yourself.
if you don't like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to. girls are not like guys either. it is not so much a physical attraction. sometimes all it takes is a great smile.
dude you have nothing to worry about. trade you looks anyday. hah you should see what i look like.