leg swelling

[MelanieAda]

Hi.....I'm married to an alcoholic.  He has drank since he was 16. He is now 47.  He was drinking a 5th or more of Vodka daily....he mixed it with Gatorade or Juice and carried it around so no one would know.  Last week he once again decided that he wanted to quit ( we have tried this 4 other times in our 7 year marriage).  I took him to the doctor and she put him on Librium.  Now his legs are so swollen...like twice the size...it's horrible.  He works off 7 days and is home 7 days.  He was starting to swell pretty bad before he put down the alcohol.  I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what causes it.

[MelanieAda]

yes....i am figuring out my life...i have put him first for the extent of our marriage and have realized it has only brought me down to a point of no self esteem and complete alienation from my family and friends.  They ( family and friends don't understand why I stay) and I avoid gatherings because he embarrasses me by the spectacle he makes of himself.  I'm tired of feeling so alone and missing out on all the fun my family and friends have together....your advice is much appreciated.

[itsmylife1222]

sweetheart, i am a recovering alcoholic and addict. i am also professionally employed. however, my mother is a tough britisher with a firm sense of right and wrong so when i was doing my thing she warned me that she would not let me take my daughter down. i didn't believe her. guess what? i got served with papers. she won. my mother, at the time, was 70 years old. my daughter is now 11 and still with her and my over riding emotion toward that old lady is GRATITUDE.

please protect yourself. you might want to try alanon to learn how...

[walternowotny]

Don't feel bad....Good friend of mine is a very successful psychiatrist.Her first husband (computer programmer) was alcoholic her second(pilot) cocaine addict.
In both cases it took her a while to figure it out....
Walter

[MelanieAda]

no...we have only been married 7 years ( 2nd marriage).  Sad part is my kids really like him ( except when he's drunk and mean).  He has admitted to me he has been drinking since he was 16.....heavily since @ 21.  He also used heroin in his 20's and meth before I met him.  I'm finding out all kinds of stuff.  I'm flabbergasted....I'm an ER nurse...haha...and he fooled me.  I never even realized how much he drank.  He says that he's still trying....but it's like billy said...I'm so sick of babysitting him...and days being ruined because he gets drunk and mean and passes out...so i'm stuck sitting here alone all the time.  I do not think he can do it.  He is usually happy and jolly ( until the mean)...he's just been walking around like a zombie in a daze and says he has no energy and he just acts so miserable.  Mostly he sleeps....I am lost.

[working dog]

i have to say start looking into the future..for yourself...where do you want your life to go..the stress of baby sitting an alcoholic can be awfull...and sounds like you got what you got...marry an alcoholic and get an alcoholic..it's like if you marry someone thats cheating on someone else to be with you it in time the same thing will happen to you...keep a network of folks on youir side whether you stay with him or not...this stuff is sad but since i've been reading lots of stories about alcohol problems i'm getting to know some of the bs that goes on...of course people like ibizan that work with this stuff every day really have it down..good luck and keep us posted.....billy

[ibizan]

oh yes....u must think/take care of urself if he is intent on destroying himself......any kids? how old r they and what do they think if u have them?how long u been married and living with this?

[MelanieAda]

hi billy...how ironic...my husbands name is billy.  Thanks for your comment...but as you probably read above..he's back to drinking.  He will not get professional help.  I think he tries to do it to please me...but we both know that will never work.  I don't think I can take this anymore.  he has brought me so far down with him....i have to start thinking of myself.

[MelanieAda]

he refuses the bloodwork....i think I know why...I smelled alcohol on him last night.  So I guess once again he had me fooled that he really wanted to stop.  Thank you for your comment...I am at the end of my rope.

[working dog]

i know my balls swelled up for a couple weeks when i quit drinking...i was told what that was but frogot...that is so much drinking...he's going to need help for a few months to a year...but in the first few weeks he should be watched all the time...thats got to be tough for you..withdrawals can be real hard to get through...they were for me...good luck...billy

[Jacker]

Has he had bloodwork to test his liver?  I think leg swelling is one of the symptoms of reduced liver function.  A fifth of vodka per day is a lot of alcohol.  Find out where he stands on liver function, and it may tell you where to go from here.  The results may also give him more incentive to stay sober at this point.