hi guys here is the thing, every time i have a blackout i always start to think the famous what if... recently my what if is what if i had sex with a girl without a condom. Even if there was no girls or if there were and the girl said to me that nothing happend i always get in doubt. till time passed by i start to realize that it couldnt happend. But whay worries me the most is that las friday i had another black out and i reemember going out of a restaurant and going to a gas station i remember that i park in the pregnant space and there was a lot of people drinking out of the gas, i bought 2 beers and a pack of sigars, not reemember going to that bathroom, then i went out and there was 3 guys drinking beside my car, so a went for a little chat, then i reemember leave without any trouble to a friend house. so here is the thing, next morning i saw my celphone and i took pics of me in the bathroom of the gas (as far as i can see) it was only me, i do that most of the time (taking pics for see if im to drunk) then i the thought apears, what if someone raped me WTF!! i had no pain at all, no blood no nothing, well the only thing is that i have a hemorrhoid that i think i have it days before. My buddy told me that i call him right after i leave the gas and i told him that i was jocking with some dudes and i bought them a beer so i obviously nothing happend. but i have those obsessive thoughts please help
Sounds like you should quit drinking before something bad really does happen. Thing is you may never recall what happened when you are blacked out. It doesn't sound like you are thinking clearly at all right now. I suggest you go talk to the doctor about whats happening to your mind and with your addiction to alcohol. He can get you tested to see how healthy your liver is right now. He can give you advice on quitting drinking because your liver tests will definitely be a concern. Try gong to AA meetings, they sure have helped me, over 18 mths sober now. My liver tests were high but thank goodness, my liver is fine. Hopefully yours is also, but quit before it gets worse. It can be fatal.
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