I too accede with onthefence. You should visit to detox center to evaluate your meds.
I 150% agree with onthefence advice!If you do not change,the chances are high that your children will follow in your footsteps and/or hook up w/other alcoholics/addicts as they proceed in life!
i would encourage you to contact a detox center, that way they can moniter you and your meds while you detox off alcohol. and then aftercare will be really important, .
it sounds like you have the desire to begin the process. that is Wonderful!
now you must take action, gather courage , and make arrangements to go to the detox center, make it your number one priority, if nothing changes,, nothing changes......