so glad i made it!!

well, for those fo you who know me i am newly sober, and have been an addict/alcoholic for 25 years. i have 45 days sober. yesterday was one of the worst days i have had yet, cravings, stuggling, selfish thinking the whole nine yards. i went to an am AA meeting which brought me even more into myself...i love my meetings, but this one in particular my husband likes, so we all went along. there were so many people no one could talk, just say their name and that was all there was time for, so i left there not getting my usual "fix" of sober life as i needed it. And it is all about me...LOL...anyway, had my sponsor with me, she couldnt crack my stubborn head either, but she was there to gripe to and a shoulder to cry on...God Bless Her.  went on to my home meeting at 1:00, and should have spoke up immediately that i was in crisis, but i didnt. i was the last to talk, and i poured it all out. we all stayed late and i got so mych needed support, i was able to sob like a baby and have people who undersrood how bad these cravings can be, and let me say yesterday i was NOT just craving alcohol, i used to be an IV drug user years ago, well, i will leave it at thatm havent been down that ugly road for  3.5 years now.

anyway, i made it through to see yet another day sober, and i am truly grateful.   for those of you struggling, keep reaching out, it saved my life yesterday....and for those people, my fellowship, and God i am GRATEFUL to be on here today.

[sograteful828]

oops!!  forgot to mention what i have learned, very important, we have to always put our needs and OUR sobriety frist....that is where i know i failed myself yesterday.
sorry, its early and i need to remember what triggered me,, and how to avoid it next time, and for anyone in my position that i can help as well!!  

[rod44]

Hi sograteful,

Unfortunately we all have days like this, getting through them is what makes us stronger, yesterday is gone and today is a new day. It is at these times of crises that we need AA most and the meaning of one minute at a time really comes into play.
Get into the habit of sharing early on when the meeting is thrown open, this way when you are feeling bad you will find it that little bit easer to share. It is so easy to share when you are feeling ok, not so easy when you are having issues.
Also if there are private issues that you don’t wish to air in public try sharing on a one to one.

Keep life simple.  
Ray

[rod44]

Sorry I would also like to say a VERY WELL DONE TO YOU, be proud of yourself and give yourself a hug, you deserve it

[dominosarah]

On the substance abuse forum we do the "happy dance" for those who have achieved clean time.....So today i am doing one for you, Minnesota style!!!!  You are going into this with an open mind and being very honest with yourself.  That is so important.  Remember to take baby steps.  Keep reaching out and talking.  I have made a list of my triggers and that seems to help.  I also have kept a journal of my recovery.  As for the drugs, that addiction will talk to you also and play some head games.  You are stronger than the cravings.  You are in control now, not the devil.  One guy on the SA forum summed it up as such......The drink bone is connected to the drug bone.  I am really proud of you for being clean for 3 1/2 years.  That is huge!!!  Keep working your program and take care of you as you are no.1.  Now i am off to do the happy dance!!!!   sara

[sograteful828]

thanks everyone, boy, today is another struggle with the damn opiates, but i am working thorugh it, going in early to my meeting to so some cleaning and service work, i bought some CD's that i find inspirational to me.  am i am helping someone on this forum who is in need of help, which takes me back to that place i dont want to be.

baby steps is right, i am using my coping skills, and i am working my program..this too shall pass, i am convinced.

Rod-you are right, i am gonna bring this up first thing in my meeting today, i have nothing to hide, i need to be strong if i want to help myself.

off i go....thanks again everyone for your continued support. this is a tremendous help between meetings.

[dominosarah]

This is just your brain playing tricks with you.....very common when we are addicted to both alcohol and drugs.  The cravings will pass.  Usually they last about 15 minutes but can come around all day.  Get busy, turn on the music, call your sponsor, clean, go out for a walk just keep busy.  You are in control....not the addiction.  Stay strong in your fight......You can get thru this........sara

[Tink70]

Congrats and we will be here when the Pink Cloud is gone!  
Tink

[ibizan]

u keep going lady!u take me back to my early days of recovery work and u bring a smile to my face!plus keeping me optimistic and moving forward!