sober sex

[poppieandpe]

my girlfriend was an drinker for 15 yrs. she has been sober for 1 and a half months. she loves me very much but hasno desire to make love right now and she pushes me away a lot. I miss that special part of us. I know she might be going through the change of life rightnow too. do we need to go to the dr or is this gona change on her own ?i'm very sad I don't know what to do to help.i miss that part of us I need that part of her back. please help

[dominosarah]

Right now she has alot of changes going on both physically and mentally.  She needs to be congratulated for being sober and you do too as you are a part of this also.  Having you as a support system is huge in her recovery.  So many times this isnt the case so thank you for being there.  As for your sex life....it may be awhile before things heat up again.  Try not to put that pressure on her right now.  Maybe just wrapping your arms around her, taking her out for supper, doing a load of clothes etc is what she needs now.  I understand the frustration but getting sober really is a life changing event.  There are many emotions that come to the surface.  You said you know she loves you so please dont take the lack of sex right now personal.  It has nothing to do with you.  When it does come back you are going to be one tired man!!!!

[OpenMind24hours]

You can find the change of life answer on a different forum on this site. Look under forums at the top of the page. Also, hopefully a woman in alcohol recovery might see this thread and help out on that front.

I'd like to share, that based on my own experience at stopping alcohol after many years of heavy use, a heavy drinker after all those years and finally stopping will go through lots and lots of change; mentally, spiritually and physically. It's my hope that she's going to meetings and counseling because it's very important she does.

As and alcoholic, my drinking and drugging was just a small symptom of a much larger disease of addiction that continues to need to be addressed. Staying clean and sober is a daily struggle that will take a lot out of us at first. But it always gets better as time goes on as long as we maintain our sobriety and keep working on our recovery daily. Recovery must come first in our lives. Without it, us alcoholics have no life.