step two

After admitting the powerlessness over our addictions and the unmanageability it has brought into our lives, now what do we do?  How do we get turned around and pointed in the right direction?  That brings us to step two.

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
      Taken from The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions pg 25

Before I got into a recovery program I never believed in God.  I was raised going to sunday school and got confirmed and all but that was basically going through the motions so I wouldn't get in trouble from my parents.  In general I wasn't one to give it the God I will never drink again speach when puking my guts out or dealing with the room spinning with the killer headache.  A Power greater than myself was just not something I turned to in times of trouble or need.  I could always see my way through it.  Well, my addiction had other plans.  My addiction brought me to my knees.  One night I had this hallucination that I thought was real and it scared me like I had never been scared before.  That was the night I cried out "God please help me"  and I really meant it. I had left my house and drove down to my parents.  It was real early in the morning when I got there.  Nobody was awake.  I had calmed down a bit and dozed off on the couch.  When I woke up my parents asked me what was going on.  I just started spilling my guts and filled them in on all the boozing and drugging that I was doing and that I scared myself pretty good the night before.  Later that day a friend of theirs who was in recovery stopped by and we talked.  He asked if I was willing to go to a mtg and I said yes.  We stopped and picked up another guy and the three of us went to my first mtg.  After a pretty good nudge in the ribs I raised my hand and said I was an alcoholic and that I was new.  They all welcomed me.  I was in a pretty thick fog and didn't understand a lot of what happened but what I saw really struck me.  There were people there that were just like me and they were clean, sober, happy and peaceful.  Something clicked in my head and I knew this was the help I had asked for.

This had been my first taste of asking for help from a Power greater than myself and receiving the help I so desperately needed.  This planted a seed of faith which when nurished has grown beyond my expectations.  One day I asked my sponsor about what a Power great than myself is.  He told me "the only thing you need to know about a Higher Power is that it's not you."  I laughed because he was right.  I'm still not a religious person, however I do believe there is a Power out there that grants me sobriety, peace and happiness one day at a time so long as I follow the suggestions He has laid out before me.   Thanks for letting me share.

[Tab57]

What a geat testimonial! Thanks so much for sharing this.

[ibizan]

i was raised hardcore roman catholic in the 60's so any survivor of that era can relate to my ambivalence about a God!AA/NA was the FIRST place i was allowed to believe in a power so to speak......or to not believe...an agnostic.....who believes in the power of the group..recovering alcoholics/addicts helping one another to remain sober/clean.I have been the recipient of that!When Joan Osbourne came out wiht What if God was One of Us?in 1995...and the right wingers had  a fit about this...it summed up exactly how I felt!I sure hope there is a God......i  look at this world and wonder...but know humans have free will and choice.My spirituality comes from recovering folks helping one another and being the animal lover i am....i think...hafta believe that heaven is The Rainbow Bridge...google this for a smile.....and i am trying my best to be a good human here...so that when i pass i can go to the Bridge...and if there isn't something after this..then i have known heaven on earth with the love and companionship of all the 4 legged creatures that have passed thru my life!!!!

[dominosarah]

I hear you loud and clear on this one......

[ibizan]

i called my first  apartment cat Cigi my sobriety kitty...she was an abused siamese...scared nervous......7 mos.old and i was 7 mos.sober/clean when she was given to me....i was scared and nervous too....we saw each other thru a lot!:)She was a divine appointment!!