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stop drinking and diarrhea
I posted this in another forum on here, but then seen this forum and felt it was more on tack of my question and whats going on with my body.This is gross and I am sorry I am just trying to find out that is going on.
I am a 29 year old female and have drank heavily since I was 12. I stopped drinking cold turkey a little over a week ago, but now I have massive diarrhea, like 20 plus times a day. Its a bright yellow "bubbly" diarrhea, kinda like when you drink a ton of beer and go to restroom the next day. So I was just wondering if this is a normal reaction to alcohol withdraw or if it is some more serious.  
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I want to hold her hand &kiss her& tell her I love her. But she will not speak with me. I just talked to my father.And he said basically what you did. stop running, talk to your kids now. It is happening.her body is not using the fluids they were pumping in her, which I assume( and please forgive me I am very naive at times) but I assume everything is shutting down.  Dad thinks she wants nothing to do with me especially because she told him that I am the one that will be hardest to leave.Which f*cks me up even more, because she is the one I am trying to hold on to so much. And I guess it is time I stop. Maybe I should be the one giving up, on trying to be there and taking everything so personal. But good news dad says she looks so peaceful. Which makes me feel so much better.
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495284 tn?1333897642
Yes her internal organs are shutting down.  As hard as this is it is a blessing.

Is your mom communicating with anyone else right now?  There does come a point when sometimes they just cant talk.  My dad was like that.  Go and sit with your mom, tell her how you feel and tell her you will be okay.  Bring a magazine or book or something to do and just sit there with her.  Dont take it personal.....the meds also will mess with them.  Dont give up either.....yes our selfishness comes into play here as we dont want to lose them but it is time now for you to stand up on your own 2 feet and carry on the values and traditions your mom taught you.  They live thru us now.....Once the pain finds it place the laughter and good times will come thru.  This is all a process my friend....They also have greiving support groups and they can be very beneficial.  I am sending you a big gentle hug.........sara
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Thank you Sara & hugs back to you.The only person she is talking to or wants to see is my father. And when I say talking to its more just moans & groans. I want to be at the hospital with her, but I do not want to stress her even more. So I am following her wishes. I think there will be a time very soon that she tell dad to allow us there. I just hope it is before she goes. I am coming to terms, in a way I am kinda happy for her, no more meds, no more pain, no more worrying about everyone. She was always so worried about everyone else, never herself.I know that my mother knows I love her, I would just like to say it to her one more time. Last time I  went to the hospital to see her, she told me like 10 times how much she loves me & I told her too. I think before I even left the hospital that night, that she knew she was no longer going to let people come see her, or call her, besides my father. I am starting to be more at ease and I am not so pissed at her. I know she is just sheltering me as she always had. She does not want me to see her in pain. And I have to respect that.
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495284 tn?1333897642
If those are her wishes then yes you do need to respect that.  She is still protecting her babies....I have always said that i think it is easier to lose someone to cancer meaning you have that time to say your goodbyes unlike a car accident or something like that.  You also feel a sense of relief when they do go as they are not suffering anymore.  I in no way mean that coldhearted....Now while you wait for the closing hours take some time for you.  That is important.  I wish you peaceful moments and comfort right now.......sara
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u go to the hospital....be there....if she doesn't want to see u in her final time then u can be with her when she is gone and tell her how much u love and will miss her.My dad died at 5amish..i awoke that morn at 3:30 am and KNEW he was gone..i drove an hour to say goodbye to him..his spirit was there but shell of a  body ravaged by the cancer.so u go...be careful driving.....no drink..no valium...u go and do as sara says....u need to be with ur family now...specially ur dad!my heart and prayers go out to u!big cyberhug!
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Yes I feel the same & no that was not cold hearted in no means. I too think it is easier with this than to get a phone call that a healthy loved on is gone from a accident.  I have had almost 3 years to "prepare" myself. I told my father today that I will be going up there, even if I am just sitting in the waiting room.My mother & I do not always see things eye to eye & this is one of them.She always told me how I am her back bone. If she wanted to say something to someone, but couldnt, I would. She knows me, no one tells me what to do, I have a very strong opinion. And I am going to follow it, its the way I always have been. She knows that.
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495284 tn?1333897642
Yes she does know that and i bet she is smiling inside...........
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495284 tn?1333897642
I have to go for awhile now....Please keep us posted on how your mom is and how you are doing.  I will be on later.  You are very important to us here.  Just wanted to let you know that........hugs     sara
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495284 tn?1333897642
How are things tonight?   Since you arent on tonight hopefully this means you are getting some much needed rest...........sara
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Oh Sara I went to bed so early & when I woke I only had not even 10 minutes to get my kids ready to get on the bus.My father called me last night around 8:30 to tell me that they got my mom moved to the hospice house, and she was sleeping very well.They took her off of her oxygen. But it was just a relief that she was sleeping so peaceful, that right after him & I got off the phone I went to sleep. I feel great this morning. Well physically not to good mentally. But we know it will be happening, so it will not be a shock. Still Sober!   Heatherose
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so glad she has peace.....many prayers for her,u and ur entire family!
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495284 tn?1333897642
It is very comforting to know you got some much needed sleep and your mom did too.  I too am sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your family........sara
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495284 tn?1333897642
How are things going today?
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495284 tn?1333897642
Just wanted you to know i am thinking about you........sara
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1060948 tn?1258112064
i am so sorry about your mother, words cannot express, but your attitude is one to be commended, i am so proud of you for still being sober, i don't know if i would be as strong, but i will say this, you made me realize today how much i take for granted, and how strong you are....i have 51 days today, and you taught me something today that will stay with me forever, something you wrote really hit home....i just wanted to say thank you, and please hang in there, i am here for you....
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495284 tn?1333897642
I hope you are doing okay sickbelly.......Please when you can let us know how you are.     sara
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495284 tn?1333897642
Has anyone heard from sickbelly??  I hope she is okay.........sara
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1060948 tn?1258112064
no, i was wondering the same....if anyone hears from her please let us know
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I am going to assume she is with her mother and family during these final stages or if her mom has gone on2 a painfree place she is greiving and will let us know how she is doing in time.i am praying for her and her family.
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462570 tn?1273636577
OR she went back to the booze cause the pain was too much to handle.  That is the reality of this disease.  I hope ibizan is right, though.
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Nope have not been drinking, thanks though. Actually I have been at hospice house with my mom, til Saturday that is. Sorry I have not wrote in awhile just been very busy. We were at hospice for a week & 1/2. I had to write her obituary & man that was hard. These whole past 2 years have just been ********.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/kansascity/obituary.aspx?n=terry-rose-boyle-mcbee&pid=135054213


Terry Rose Boyle McBee, 58, KCMO, passed away October 24, 2009 at K.C. Hospice House after a long battle with cancer. She was born February 1, 1951 to George and Marilyn Boyle of KCMO. She was preceded in death by her grandparents and her infant son, Johnathon. She is survived by her parents and her husband of 41 years, Bruce McBee; two sons, Anthony and Christopher McBee; daughter Heather McBee Peterman and her husband Pete; six grandchildren; one great granddaughter; three brothers, and one sister. In lieu of flowers contributions are suggested to K.C. Hospice House who made her passing so peaceful. She will be forever loved and missed. Memorial services will be held October 29, at 10 a.m., at Community of Christ Church, 12600 Byars Road, Grandview, (Arr.: Park Lawn Funeral Home, 816- 523-1234)
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999891 tn?1407279676
I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family

Ray.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Whatever we were to each other, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the same easy way you always have.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it always was.
There is absolute continuity.

Why should I be out of your mind Because I am out of your sight?
I am but waiting for you,
for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is past.
Nothing has been lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before..
Only better. Infinitely happier.
We will be one,
Together, Forever.

Author unknown


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Thank you, that was very nice. I really like it. Heatherose
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999891 tn?1407279676
Hi Heatherose
This is a tough time and I hope and pray you are looking after yourself. Eating properly and getting as much rest as you can.

Ray  
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1060948 tn?1258112064
I am so sorry for your loss, but reading Rods post really makes it slightly softer (?) i guess on this end.  i am happy you havent fallen, i am here for you in your time of need.  we just lost someone last night we founf out late, so i appologize if i make no sense, this is kinda hard fall all, but i wanted to lend my support, and take care of yourself, you have been down a rough road....please try to take care...i will say a prayer for your mother and for you
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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I knew where u were and what u were doing!Heartfelt condolences!My dad gone in 2006.I had a dream about him sunday morn....we were having a family gathering in the house i grew up in.He was gone but he walked into the house!We were so happy to see him but he said I am really not here!We said how can that be u r talking to us?He said you know i'm gone but i live in your hearts and minds and u need to keep moving forward!whew!I awoke and had to pinch self for awhile...that felt so real!And u must keep moving forward dear...it will be hard....but she would want that for u!:)
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495284 tn?1333897642
I am so sorry my friend.  Your mom is in a better place now free from pain.  You will find comfort in her memories at some point.  Let yourself feel the pain now.  We are here for you........sara
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Sorry I was not trying to be rude by not replying. I have just been so busy. My dad has been having me go to their house & going through everything. Its wouldnt be so bad, but my mama is a pack rat.It was so weird though, last night when I got home I was setting in chair in the corner of my front room & I had dinner cooking. But all I could smell was my mom. I do not know if I really believe in spirits and such but I have had some weird things happen since my mom has passed. And thank you ibizan, you sure did know where I was & what I was doing. :) Thank you for all the prayers everyone. You guys really are the best! :)
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my mom and dad held on2 everything for 62 years!it took us 3 years to go thru it.I have a pile of blankets afghans and pillows from my mom and dad...they still have their scent on them...i won't wash them..it is comforting to wrap up in my moms fav afghan and still smell her in it!i believe in many things we cannot see in this material world.....and have very interesting real life dreams!
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Wow thats alot of things to go through.My parents have 2 houses. One in the city, one in country. I have been busting my butt off trying to get the one in city clean & gone through, but have only got one room done. My father wants me to go to the house in the country this weekend. But I told him I have to get my own house clean first. and that I wanted to weeded one house at a time. I was so mad I have a 3 kids a husband and a step son. I was at the hospice house for a week and half. The day my mom died I finally came home, my house was trashed! No one did anything in it! The day after mom passed I started working in my dads house and I still have not had a chance to do anything in my own. Plus I have bringing things over from her house and have no where to put them! grrrr! oh and there for awhile I thought I was absolutely losing my mind. My mama loved angels, and the other night I had a very vivid dream with angels. Then last night I was setting by myself in my front room, I had dinner cooking. Then all of a sudden all I could do was smell my mom. My moms passing has really made me change the way I look at things.  
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495284 tn?1333897642
I sometimes get the smell of my dads aftershave.  It comes out of the blue or i have heard him call my name and when i answer the rest of my family looks at me like i am nuts!!!  Noone else hears it but me.....My dad was a pack rat and when we went to clean out their house and man the things we found.....They had saved their polio vaccination receipts from 1962!!!  I also found the breeding schedule of their cows from the 1950's!!!

Dont forget to take some time for you during all of this.  Glad to see you posting!!!     sara
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yeah I know what you mean, my family thinks I am starting to lose it...lol. thats funny that they held on to all that for so long. And its like my mom, she would even keep receipts from the grocery store because they had her signature & the last 4 digits of her credit card number on them. She was so paranoid over all that stolen identity ****. So of course I cant just look at them & through them away. My dad is having me put all of them in another to burn..lol I guess hes paranoid off all that too.  
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495284 tn?1333897642
My dad was in the military for 45 yrs and he saved EVERYTHING from that.  We had 5 shredders going and burnt up 3 of them!!!  What a nightmare that was!!!!
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don't forget HALT......don't let urself get too hungry angry lonely and tired.......and mega loads of poop upon ur family for not being more helpful to u during this time.......so crappy!u can't get 50 years of stuff accumulated gone thru in a short period of time.....go easy and do what u can!
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Yes I just took so much time off, my dad called me worried. I have not went back over there for 5 days, I will go back tomorrow.I had to take a breather. All my brothers were doing was telling me what to do & getting drunk. I could not stand the fighting anymore. But my dad completely understands. My mom has always been my rock, but now that she is gone, my dad is really trying to now. Which helps me alot. He used to think I was a ***** because I am very outspoken, but he says now he just realizes how much my mother & I are alike. And instead of thinking I am *****, he thinks my mother raised me very good.He kinda likes it now that she is not here to ***** at him...lol
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495284 tn?1333897642
Im glad to hear you took some time off.  You needed that.  Sounds like you and your dad are connecting now and that is great!!!  Stay in touch or we worry!!      sara
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999891 tn?1407279676
Like Sahra I to am glad you took some time out, that kinda pressure when doing what must be a very sad job is not good for you. I am also glad things are good with your dad, you and he need each other at this time....keeping you in my prayers.

Ray
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495284 tn?1333897642
I was worried about you too Rod!!  Nice to see you.......sara
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your brothers are such fools.....yeegads there r 2 many of them in the world!oh what an ordeal u r going thru and I know.....u and ur dad will grow closer.....go easy with that material stuff......it is just stuff and years of it to sort thru!practicing HALT is imperative now!
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999891 tn?1407279676
Hi Sara, Still here, not been to well but you cant keep a bad thing down for long lol!! back for now but could be missing for a few weeks in the future but dont worry I will give you all advance warning lol.....

Ray
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whatever it is that is ailing you i hope it is medical fixable......don't disappear here...we need u and value ur advice...u have been such a help to me and many of us here!take care of urself and keep us informed!:)
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999891 tn?1407279676
Hi Ibizan, thanks for your kind words, I have benefited very much from being part of this community and have no intension of going very far from here.
I was DX earlier this year with a cyst in the center of my spinal cord, I had an appointment with a neurosurgeon on Tuesday afternoon, well to cut a long story short they have decided they may need to operate to place a shunt to drain it. the doctors are meeting on Monday to discuss where to go from here but have indicated that my condition needs to be treated urgently and the only treatment is surgery. The surgery however is high risk as it involves the spinal cord so I am in a bit of a delima....

I will keep you all updated on how things progress.

Regards Ray
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that is indeed anxiety provoking!i take it u will have someone to help u at home after this?many many healing prayers for u!
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Yes I will pray for you Ray, so sorry to hear about that.Hopefully surgery will go nice & easy. That is one word that does freak me out, (surgery).
You all have been so awesome I wish if I would have came to this site along time ago.
I am about to give up on going to my parents house trying to help my dad. He has had alot of health problems. He has survived like 3 heart attacks. So I do not expect him to clean this house by himself. I have not been over in almost a week.I went today to clean & go through things. Ended up being a HUGE fight between me & brother. See I do not remember if I mentioned this before but I have 2 older brothers who live there, they are 40 & 36.Neither have a job, they have lived off of my parents for SEVERAL years know. I moved out of parents house when I was 16.So my brother gets completely **** faced, and wants me to keep all this garbage & take it home. Then he tells me I never loved my mom, and how its just him & me fixing these houses. Well I guess by him & me means him telling me what to do & me doing it. So I am the type who can only take so much. Lets just say today when I left he was crying. He is so overly emotional   and for him to drink makes him even emotional.So as you can not tell I just needed to vent. Sorry guess. Hope everyone is doing good!
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999891 tn?1407279676
Thanks Ibizan, It is interesting that you ask if i have support at home, since getting sick I have discovered all over again just how  lucky I am. The last time i was in hospital no one asked after me to see if I was OK, the so called Friends I had all suddenly disappeared when they discovered I was in for detox, my family were just unable to take any more. i spent three months and in that time the only visitor I had were people from AA who came to help and support me even when I was not very cooperative....

In the seven years that I have been sober I have become best friends with my sister, I have my AA family and I have my partner Anne,  they are all equally fantastic. My friends from AA along with Anne and my sister are working together to have an aftercare plan for me. Would I have this if I was drinking.....

Sickbelly your prayers are gratefully appreciated, you are here on the site now and using it to get help and by doing so helping others, I can identify with you, I was drinking at the time my Dad past away, I behaved much like your brother. I added to the grief and sadness that my family were going through.
You need to let go of the anger and the possible resentment building against your brothers, deal with your own grief and avoid this fighting, it will end badly for you. Remember what Ibizan said in an earlier post H.A.L.T.
you are doing the right thing by venting here, well done I know it cant be easy for you at this time.

Ray
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I am so sorry to hear that no one was really there for you. That is horrible. I was lucky with my mom, if I even went in for a physical, my mom would show up to make for sure I was ok.I was married to my first husband when I got my tubes tied. They had me on some massive pain pills, I could not walk or even get a drink of water by myself. My ex husband would not do a damn thing to help me. But my mom would stay with me as long as she could.I miss her so freakin much.
I am glad that you do have people working on a plan for you. I also know what you mean about "so called friends", since not drinking I have realized that I really do not have any friends, they were all just drinking friends., It's sad I am almost 30 & have pretty much no friends. Well life goes on, maybe I can met some & they will be "true" friends. I have decided that I am going to go back through this class that helps you stop smoking. I had done it awhile back, but my mom ended up in the hospital *& before I knew it I was smoking again. She smoked, but she was so proud of me when I had tried to stop.
As for my brother, I am done arguing with him. I will tolerate all of his ****, just for my fathers sake.I have realized that is in a way beneath me as an adult and that is fine. I just hope for his sake that one day he will grow up.
Heatherose
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999891 tn?1407279676

Hi Heatherose,

it was hard but as time went on and I got back my dignity and self-respect I again made friends.....today life is good.
It is hard loosing one of your family, your mom was a good person by the sounds of it, it is important to keep her memory alive especially the happy side of it.
stay positive and stay sober and you will have a life beyond your wildest dreams, that is what i was told in AA and it has proved to be the case....

Ray
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I some what know what you mean, I am starting to learn to love myself again. Slowly but surely. And yes I do try so hard to be positive. For not only myself, but my children, husband, dad & mostly my moms parents. She was a wonderful person. Well I know most children say that about their parents, but she was, I can not think of one person who did not love/like her.
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SB- so sorry ur having to go thru this **** with ur bro...u do NOT hafta take it!do ur damndest to tune him out!some ppl r like flies they pester others and eat poop!and rod-i'll be thinking/praying for u on tuesday!
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10335154 tn?1409387599
Hi,

Good to know that you have stopped that habit for now. Do not let yourself down thinking that your diarrhea is not essentially the outcome of your abstemiousness. I suggest you go to a doctor because excessive diarrhea will make you look leaner than you are.
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