vomiting blood

[townie8394]

I'm a 46 yr. old alcoholic. This past month my drinking has gotten progressively worse. This past week, I threw up blood twice. On both occasions I hadn't eaten all day, just drank many beers. There was no stomach pain. I felt acidity in my esophagus, throat? I forced myself to eat afterward, even though I had pain swallowing. I felt fine the next day. I'm scared to death, but I'm still drinking. I know I need help but I'm scared to quit. I've already been in rehab once. Was sober for a few months and fell off the wagon again. In my 20's i was hospitalized for anorexia, bulimia. I've seen numerous therapists, psychiatrist, but I feel like I'm a lost cause. Once one addiction is tamed, the other one surfaces. All I've seen to get out of the help I've gotten is more debt. Do I have to hit bottom (god forbid what that may be) to stop. HELP!

[Cheril77]

Im praying for everyone here that is struggling with alcohol.  Townie, I pray for you to be delivered from alcohol. Turn to Jesus and let him take this addiction away from you.  Ask a pastor, or priest or someone you can get in touch with and believes to pray for you in person.  Dont be afraid, God loves you. He created you in His image.  He wants to restore you to health and give you life here and now.  

[march15oct5]

How are you?  Did you avoid drinking?  I'm new to this site.  After 13 years of sobriety, I relapsed.  Now I am on day 2.  You are right - this is really difficult.  I'm hoping you are doing well.

[CeeRB]

Alcohol is very powerful.  Its very hard to quit.  Im hung over and looking at a bottle right now..... while my husband is drinking away...  The only thing stopping me right now is actually eating ice.... I threw up this morning.  I saw a little blood towards the end.  I know its my esophagus.  I threw up again, no blood.  I wish God would help me now.  It ***** to feel this way.  But to be honest with you, he's far from my mind right now....

[17mthssober275]

Wondering how you are doing? Did you go into detox or recovery? I have quit using, alcoholic/addict almost 19 mths. It can be done. Using everyday to quitting. I was so scared, in the end my liver was damaged. I prayed and asked for help from my addiction, went to recovery, changed my friends, go to meetings, care for others and help them now. I believe God/jesus held me up along my way. I feel blessed to have a life now, and a clean/sober relationship. My fiance was on morphine and he prayed and quit also. I love what samaritan said, some don't believe it, but life has become so good now for us. I couldn't quit before until I gave it all to God.The AA book says the same thing. My fiance tells people still in addiction to ask God to take away your addiction, we Believe. PRAY!!!

[samaritan]

The solution is very simple and his name is Jesus ask him to give u strength to quit drinking, He will not only help you to quit drinking but he will help u to fix all your problems and sorrows you just have to accept him as your savior, please invite him to live in your heart and you'll see all the wonders he can make in your life he will give you peace, love, worthiness, joy, blessings, and much more. don't throw your life to waste if you continue like that you are going to die waking up in very bad place and you don't want that believe me. Jesus died for so you can have a good life here on earth plus when you die you will go to him to enjoy in heaven for ever. I will be praying for you but you need to do your part too. God bless you and I hope to hear that you had quit drinking soon.

[rpooo]

JDM dont hate yourself for what your dad is going through. It is not your fault at all. Alcoholism is a disease that some people have and is very difficult to live with for them and for you. Alateen is a great idea for you because it will help you understand why your father does what he does. There will even be other people your age that are going through the same thing so they would better understand how you feel. It is free for you to go and it's quite possible there are some right in your area close by. Do a goole search for "Alateen + your Zip Code" and it should bring up dates and times. Be sure to talk to your mom or dad about going so they wont worry about where your at. Your absolutely right it is very tramatizing and very hard to see happen but in no way is it your fault.

Take care,
Randy

[ibizan]

Dear JD....sad that u r witnessing ur dad destroy himself.........are there any Al-Ateen meetings nearby u?

[JDM211097]

Hi Guys im 14, This day that i am writing this is the third time my dad has vomited blood, In my opinion my father drinks way more than the people here do..... He drinks 4 liters of wine in one day and a bottle of whiskey or vodka or bourbon. As a child it's traumatizing, But for me i guess im super weird and for some reason i do not feel sad for my father instead i find hatred in my self. He know it's his final stage yet he drinks. He wants to stop cold turkey but his failed on multiple ocassions. I really dont know what will happen all i know is that he'll either live or die...  Oh he started drinking since he was 16 and now he is 54 years of age

[Sandiego1234]

You should look into Al Anon - it helps me tame my hatred tremendously

[working dog]

3 kids good sad story..thanks..and jacker hang in there.....keep this thing behind you...good luck...billy

[Jacker]

Thank you for the post.  There are times when I want to convince myself that my former lifestyle of drinking was "no big deal", and it wouldn't hurt me to try it again.  The truth is, the last few years have really flown by, and if I was to take up my habit again I could end up on the same boat as your father.  I don't want to go back there  again and I really don't want to die that way.  Your story is a powerful motivator.  

[3kidsandamommy]

I watched my Dad die from years of drinking... about 7 years ago.  He was a beer drinker too.  He died a month and 1 day after his 56th birthday...he never got to meet his grandchildren.

I still have really troubling images in my head from his last 3 months alive.  He started having seizures, he couldn't keep a job, he vomited blood.  His liver and kidneys were failing.  My sister and brother found him on the floor of his trailor almost dead.  He had soiled himself and we don't know how long he had been there since he lived by himself.  When they got to the hospital the doctors didn't think he would make it out of ICU.  As his children, we had to make the horrible decision as to whether or not he would be resuscitated.  He lived for 3 months, but they were difficult months.  He hallucinated terribly through detox.  They had to restrain him because he thought the tubes hooked to him were snakes and he constantly pulled them out.  He didn't recognize us at times.  He vomited buckets of blood in the hospital. His body swelled up with fluid (because of his failing organs) so much so that his skin would tear and it made him look as if he were pregnant.  And all those toxins in his body weren't being filtered by his liver and kidneys, so they made him very confused.

His last month alive was lived in a nursing home.  By then he was clear-headed and he hated being there.  He was the youngest person there, but he was dying and we couldn't take care of him.  My husband and I came into town to see him (at that time we didn't know it would be his last weekend) and my husband couldn't believe what he saw.  He said my dad looked like he had spent a year in a concentration camp.  He was skin and bones.  Less than a week later he would die.  My sister was there when he gasped for his last breath.  

I tell you this because I hope the reality of this will motivate you to do whatever it takes to recover and get help.  It's too late for my dad, but it's not too late for you.  You are not a lost cause!  You are a mother and your child (children) need you.  I wish I still had my dad.

You know, I don't believe anything happens by accident.  I found your posting because my son is sick (vomiting) and I was looking up info for him when I found you.

Don't just pray...plead with God...cry out to him multiple times a day!  He knows you...He knows your name, townie. He knows all the hurts you've experienced and when others have let you down.  His eye is on the sparrow and His eye is on you, townie.

Children, no matter what age, want and need, a sober parent.  If you are able to read this there is still time for you.  Alcohol and drugs only strain relationships...precious relationships.  When I visit my dad's grave site I can only imagine....what if?  I love you and I'll be praying for you!

[STENTON]

Hi Townie,
              I am brand new to this site, and I am delighted I have found it. Like yourself I have battled with alcohol for years, have seen Councillors, Therapists,been to A.A meetings, Councill addiction, I have been detoxed 5 times , have been on acomprasate. Finally collapsed a month ago, couldn,t eat couldn,t sleep, I was so dehydrated, My body was starting to shut down. I went into hospital, had horrible  withdrawel symptoms, in fact I had to have 8 intravenous drips to try to hydrate me. To be honest that was a month ago, and I feel so much better, Thank goodness I managed to get to hospital, or I may not have been here to tell the tail. My liver is now starting to damage and I have been told I must keep off the drink or I will Die..... So doc is cheking my liver again on Friday to see how it fairs and then I am going to start  taking DISULIFRAM.... ANTABUSE..  ...
      Will keep you posted.. You stick in there townie, keep trying.... Don,t give up...I know how hard it is.., but things will only get worse if you keep on drinking... I,m sure everyone on this site will back you all the way , including me

[MJIthewriter]

I wanted to say thinks for your kind note and update. I'm glad you're looking at the links I sent you, especially that one forum. There seem to be some very supportive people. It sounds encouraging that you're getting back into AA.

[ibizan]

My friend workingdog knows what he speaketh!he has went thru a rough stint....and doing well.....at first stopping is hell....but then we repair or we die eventually and the real work is staying stopped!So many giving u good comments specially Louise111!

[MJIthewriter]

I'm glad to hear that you got it before anything serious happened. I'm also glad that you've made a decision. It sounds like things are on their way to getting better, although, like working dog said, it would be good to get help and support from real life people around you.

[working dog]

you better be carefull...i stopped while living alone and had no help..nothing...no drugs to ease the anxiety ..not a thing...i would never tell anyone that has a bad drinking problem to try and stop on their own...you should have someone near you the first couple weeks...i don't know how much you were drinking but if you were drinking a lot for some time i would get to a doctor before the third day...get some help...sounds like you've had it with the drinking and thats great..thats where you have to be to stop...but next thing is get help...i had terrible withdrawals...at about 6 months a lot of my symptoms went away...still had some though..after 9 months i started feeling much better...after a year i felt normal most of the time...but from the third day till the end of the 1st month most nights i wasn't sure if i would make it...i hope you make it townie and never go back..life is so much better without drinking...good luck...billy

[townie8394]

Hello! Went to the doc's, had an endoscopic procedure. Everything is fine, no ulcer, nothing. Made a decision today to stop drinking. Have a plan in place and taking it one day at a time. Hope all is well with you.

[MJIthewriter]

Just wondering how things are going. I haven't heard from you. I hope things are getting better.

[townie8394]

Hello Louise! So nice to hear from you again. I don't know if you've ever had an alcohol problem or not but I really don't know if I have the strength to stop drinking. I am not myself, I am not who I want to be, I want to LIVE my life but I feel this disease as a demon that has a very strong hold on me. I feel ashamed I can't resist him...maybe helpless or just giving in to him. I don't know if I've told you that I have been to MANY therapists, psychiatrists...rehab....I am a single parent and feel so alone, no one to confide in so please feel blessed that you have a husband, a soulmate, a best friend to go through life with. So celebrate each day with your husband, enjoy every moment with him, don't dwell on the past or obsess about the future. Take each day slowly and simply and enjoy and relish everyday you have with your husband. Don't take anything for granted and feel blessed with what God has given you. Lots of love and prayers...Townie.

[Jacker]

I sent you a message back - have a great day.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  

[susieq87]

It could be a bleeding ulcer, very serious stuff.  You'll quit when you have decided enough is enough.  I don't feel you necessary have to go back into treatment.  Go to AA Get a Sponsor.

[Louise111]

I just re-read your first posting.....even though you vomitted blood.....that is a subtle sign.  My husband used vomitg a little blood,  had acidity in stomach for a long time; he used to take "Gaviscon" like it was candy....that was at least 10 years ago.....if he quit drinking back then (at age 52) he'd be in great health now.....if whatever damage he did to his liver back then was not more serious than a 'fatty' liver, then his quality of life would be normal now....fatty liver is probably a Stage 1 Liver Disease condition....then it gets worse....Fibrosis, Hepatitic, Cirrhosis......the Liver is the only organ in the body that can 're-juvenate' itself, provided it's not too far gone, like Cirrhosis.  So, if you are just starting to throw up a little blood.....then you can still stop drinking and get healthy.  You're still young, heck, I'm 56 and 46 seems like yesterday.   In 10 years, you'll be 56, and you'll say that you've been sober and healthy for 10 years.  It's not easy, probably the hardest thing you will ever do in your life, but the most important thing you will ever do.  You will treat your body like a temple, in homage to God, who gave you life.  He only gave us one body, one set of organs, one 'trip' on this earth....some of us stay longer thans others, don't know how God plans it that way, or why, but that's how it is.  We have to treasure each moment on this earth, for we will never "pass this way again".  We will never 'repeat' March 10, 2003, for example!!!  God Bless, stay strong.  Talk to you soon.
Fondly,
Louise111

[MJIthewriter]

You're welcome. I sent you a message  back.  Though I cannot fully relate to your experiance, I do try to reach out and help people in general. I'm a writer and through my research, I've come to read several stories both sad and inspiring. From what I've read, some people thought they were hopeless, but found faith in something and worked hard at it. Having faith in a higher power seems to really help those people who have shared their stories I've read.

[Louise111]

You have the strength to stop drinking...it's hard, but it can be done.....I hope my husband's sobriety is not "Too Little, Too Late".....but he's never smoked or drank coffee....always was an athlete, football, baseball, golf...always walked 4 to 5 miles a day, at a quick pace....maybe God will give him one more chance, or a least 2-3 more years.  We sold our lovely home in CT and built our dream home in FL.....for our retirement....we both had great careers in Law Enforcement...he did 31 years, I did 20.  We've been down here 3 years....I'd hate to lose my husband....a beautiful house, nice cars, don't mean a thing if you lose the one you love, and who loves you.  Sorry to hear about your daughter....my friend had Bell's Palsy a few years ago....he's fine now....when he's tired, one of his eyes "droops" sort of....we just laugh and say, "oh well, guess you're tired.   Be strong, Townie......this is a wonderful life, sober, more so than with a 'buzz'......my husband is naturally a quiet guy, a little shy, not a great public speaker....he thought drinking made him the "life of the party", a funny guy....very sociable and talkative....but you know, most everyone said that they like him better, quiet and reserved....more respectable, not that he was ever nasty....just to corny, especially at weddings....he'd want to dance with all the gals......they would to humor him.....but you can tell when someone thinks "too much is too much".... Anyway, I'll wish you the best of luck.  No one knows our fate on this earth....only our Almighty Father, so celebrate each day, enjoy the moment, do not dwell on the past, nor obsess about the future.  Take each day slowly and simply.  God bless.  Hope to hear from you.  This site gives me comfort to be able to speak with other folks with the same issues of concern.
Sincerely,
Louise111