want to deal with drinking problem

[davidr714]

hi i want deal with my drinking problem i not drinking now drank last saturday at a wedding, havent drank since. any way i want to stay sober. drinking is no fun for me at all anymore. i used to go to aa last went in late jully early aug. i was sober for almost two years. i have been on this furom before.  i also am reading the easy out by allen car to quit drinking not sure if that is the right name. any way i will be sober for a while then go on a mini beder feel awful quit saying i ll never do it again. also i was going to do a fith step did the forth step but shame got in the way you see. i m very deppresed and also i a have erational fears ocd that makes want to drink to shut off the though ive got this horribel diease and so on. ive had ocd for my whole life never been treated. any way all these fears and then i drink and some thime i control it like 4 beers and somethimes i dont i really now if i am an alolich or drinking to ease deppreison or anxirty. any way life is misrable.

david r

[rod44]

Hi David
I wish to point out that I am not a doctor.
Have you tried cognitive behavioural therapy for the OCD. CBT is recognised as one of the best treatments available for people with your illness. I think the medical profession call the form of OCD you described as obsessive compulsive ruminations where you have repetitive horrible thought that forces you to do things that you think will stop you from acting on those thoughts and fears, that is how I understand or that is my take on what is going on with you. A very good friend of mine has suffered for many years with this and also developed a drink problem, she started CBT last year and it has changed her life, she had this repetitive thought that she was going to harm her family and friends even though they are the most important thing in her life.
Do not get bogged down with the steps right now concentrate on the first step, get a sponsor and get to the meetings. don’t worry about speaking just listen for now when you go to the meetings.  
When you go to AA you go by choice, you stay by choice, you go for yourself. Take charge of this aspect of your life and get back to the meetings,  soon with out drink you will feel better, stronger and more able to deal with the thoughts and fears you live with everyday.
If you never had OCD you would experience fear, depression and anxiety when you stop drinking so with OCD it most likely going to be much worse.
rod44

[dominosarah]

Hi David...this is sara.......Please get to the doctor and tell him what is going on.  There are medications they can give you to ease your depression and when that is better you will be able to put some things in perspective.  Your mind is going a million miles an hour and it is all jumbled right now.  Dont keep living like this......there are solutions.  sara

[ListentoLearn]

If the medications that have been prescribed aren't treating the depression and the psychologist doesn't seem to be providing the correct medications and support you need.  You need to find a Doctor that not only specializes in depression, but OCD and substance abuse.  I know that it may seem difficult to fine a qualified physician that can aid with all that addressing these issues, but the are out there and that is exactly what you need.  I can completely connect to how you want to just get wasted to avoid the turmoil and stress that everyday life inflicts, but at some point you will get fed up with medicating yourself just to mask the underlying issues. I too have been diagnosed with panic distress disorder and generalized anxiety disorder and the flip side of anxiety is depression, so I am currently on two medications to help with these issues, but at some point I want to be free of all medications and be able to handle anything this world throws at me.  So through therapy and the support I have found here I know that I can make it.  What medications are you currently on? What specific OCD symptoms do you have ( I know you indicated fear but explain to me what you fear and how intense it is and how long do these fears last?)I really feel that you are suffering the most from depression that may be caused by your undiagnosed OCD issues, but have you ever consider the source of this depression and alcohol is definitely not the substance that you should be turning to when you are depressed because its a depressant in itself and that only makes the whole ordeal even worse.  I want nothing more than to free you from the alcohol consumption.  It was so hard for me to even admit i had a problem and it took years for me to recognize it, and now that I am aware I am so dedicated to stay away from even a drip of it.  I have to admit that I have a dependency on alcohol, but at any point I feel sad, lost, pissed, etc my first thought process is "I want to get f*cked up" but I know that that isn't going to solve a da*m thing.  Take it one step at a time or you will become overwhelmed and submit to the temptation. I'm here for you... Just reach out and I will be there ok?

Kelly

[ibizan]

whoa david!u need to stay on the first step..Powerless over alcohol and it makes ME and my life unmanageable.......and kelly gave u great advice...i hope u follow it!

[davidr714]

thank kelly i have shought help with anxity and depprsion i see a phyctist and psycolgist sorry for spelling. any way i am on meds for anxiety and deppresion and i still have horrible anxiety. as far as ocd i havent had any treatment for that i talk about it at my psycoligst but he isnt acutal helping me with it. nearly every day i fear and i mean fear live in misery and the only time i feel okay is when i im wasted. but being wasted is no fun at this point. i know its a problem i ve been to treatment two times in last couple of years. but the thing is i been able just get drunk every once in a while and leav it at that. so i know that i have to deal with it and my other issues but dont know how. i mean i sleep like 14 hours a day its the only time i dont hurt. i am so depprsed . i guess i know i am an alchoich i mean i was already thinking about when i could have a drink , i plan on staying sober.
david r

[ListentoLearn]

Hey David,

Why haven't you seen a doctor about your OCD, depression and anxiety issues? I know it may be difficult at times to admit or seek outside help like a doctor or even a therapist, Ive been there myself, but when you start turning to substances to deal with these mental conditions, it should throw up a red flag that there is something going on psychologically that is to much for one man to handle.  I'm only 28 years old, but I already know I am an alcoholic.  I would love to say that I am be able to control how much or when I drink, but the truth is I will start out with a few a couple times a week and it will end up with me and a bottle of whiskey attached at the hip. It was one of the hardest things for me to admit that I had a drinking problem with it being a legal substance and all, but to be honest that sh*t will kill you, take you over, and change you into a completely different person.  We can't hide from our problems by escaping with drinking.  Its time to man up :) and face whatever is troubling you.  As painful as it may be, once you learn to cope with these issues without alcohol, you are going to feel more amazing then you ever have your whole life.  You can do it, if you didn't think so you wouldn't be here.  

Sending lots of support,

Kelly