what was the straw that broke your camels back??

[isthiscp]

I have a very dear friend who is an alcoholic(albeit a functioning one). She is a mother, friend, confidante everything. But in her mind not an alcoholic. I'm just wondering, to all of the people on here who have gone(or are going)through recovery, was there a specific thing ie had an accident, illness etc that gave you teh "lightbulb" moment. Do you need that to stop? Many thanks for your time

[Jacker]

Fatty Liver is reversible, but it can become a big deal if you continue to drink with it.  Fat cells form when the liver cannot metabolize all of the alcohol that you're pumping through your body.  It's because you don't allow yourself to recover.....you keep drinking each day and and your liver reaches a point where it has trouble processing all of these toxins.

If you continue to drink with fatty liver, the fat cells can turn to scar tissue, which means that you have cirrhosis.  Cirrhosis is irreversible and will change you for the rest of your life.  There is no timetable on how quickly this can happen.....it varies widely by individual.

Fatty liver does not necessarily have any symptoms.  My other symptoms where simply caused by drinking too much for too long.

A little fear is a good thing.....I'm sorry if it scared you but it's no laughing matter.  She can reverse the damage with some sober time though.  

[ibizan]

u describe ur friend as alcoholic...and wonder all of this from a few beers?google alcoholic fatty liver read and come to ur own conclusions!if a doctor is indeed making light of this as u say...or nothing at all.....he isn't a very competent doctor!

[isthiscp]

OMG is it that serious??? She showed me the test results and it said there was a fatty liver thing on it(I cant really remember the terminology!). She really doesnt think it is serious, in fairness to her the dr didnt make anything of it(so much so she had just one app just to get the results so she's not even due to go back and see him again) I started this post being somewhat concerned now I'm worried sick!! All of that from a few beers???  Jacker: As far as I can tell(and I see her regularly) she doest seem to have any of these symptoms(believe me I'd know, if she has a cold she moans!!!) Arrgghh!! Now what???  

[Jacker]

I continued until there were consequences. My body started to rebel against the daily alcohol abuse.  Elevated blood pressure, pounding heart beat, dizziness even when sober, forgetfulness, and an increased number of blackouts when drinking.  This culminated with a liver problem that was thankfully reversible.  

During this stage, I think you have a choice to either stop or begin drinking in the morning to keep the heart from racing.  Thankfully, my body would no longer accept alcohol so I didn't get to this stage.  The fact is, I was playing with fire for too many years, and it's only by God's grace that I didn't sustain more damage than this.  Alcohol seemed to be a friend for so long, but in the end it turns to bite you!

[ibizan]

most ppl don't have a fatty liver dear!that comes from LOTS of alcohol consumption and comes with latter stage alcoholism!moderate liver damage came from middle stage alcoholism which is where i was at at age 28 after 14 years of a LOT of drinking....and the majority of it vodka rum and gin with a smattering of wine occasionally!!!

[isthiscp]

Thanks so much for your reply! I dont want to sound like I'm defending her but I believe that he said that. She is the most straightforward person I know. If he had of said to her"your liver is a rotten as last weeks garbage" she would have relayed that just as matter of fact-ly!!!!! Sometimes she's honest to a fault!!! What is moderate liver damage? Is it fatty liver?

[ibizan]

don't believe that her doctor said that!!!lots of ppl with advanced alcohol problems have fatty livers!there is a joke...know how to tell when an active alcoholic is bs'ing u?when their lips move!!!!!:)i was told in 1983 at age 28 by inpatient doctor that i had moderate liver damage!!!i was stunned...but doctor i'm so young!i ONLY drank on the weekends(big lie there)yadayadayada.....i was told it would repair itself in time if i stayed sober.....and today it is ok!

[isthiscp]

No wonder so many people come to this forum, the support is fantastic!!! I was wondering the liver thing. Her dr said she had a fatty liver but(in her words) he said "no big deal lots of people have that. It's not a significant finding". I'm curious, is it a ig deal? Has anyone else had anything like this? Any liver stories(I know there is a liver forum but not as helpful as here!!)? Maybe if he had said to her "your liver is hanging in your abdomen by a thread!!" Maybe that would have done the trick!!!

[ibizan]

my spiritual awakening was getting tired of hangovers,blackouts,being sick,being broke,telling myself the next time it would be different,playing ping pong games of denial and rationalizing other drug use and i thought i would b in control....and each time i failed...i got very miserable....then thank God the LIGHT went off in my muddled head that this sad party was gonna hafta be over!ur friend is lucky to have ur concern!!!!

[isthiscp]

Thanks so much for your support it is very much appreciated

[narla]

You're not a busy body you are just worried about a good friend,but really you can't do anything,she has to want to do it for herself,it took me until I was 47,and it was just a random blood test that woke me up to what I was doing to myself.
All you can do is continue to be a good friend.

Denise

[isthiscp]

Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply! When writing my initial post I didnt want to come off as some sort of "busybody" who pokes their noses way to far into their friends lives!!! It's just that we have been friends for 19 years and I know I cant affect any change in her life. She has probably in the past year gone 4 nights without a drink and HAS to have it. When she told me about the U/S on her liver showing that it was fatty, I got worried. It doesnt deem to bother her husband that much(even though he drinks very little)and like Narla said, I am the only person who really knows about this habit. She's not aggressive or messy when she drinks(and in fairness isnt really blotto)but to be honest it really seems to be just a habit. I thought what Tab57 said was interesting. I reckon she isnt drinking ENOUGH to hit rock bottom, just enough to make her very ill. She is a wonderful person and I would never lecture her on this. I  just dont want anything to happen to her

[Punkinhead75]

Hi isthiscp,

There were plenty of things going in on my life but I blamed them on stuff other than my drinking.  Wife mad at me,  I was angry,  I wasn't working didn't care about most things. In my mind the drinking was justified and ok to do.  I new I was drinking a lot.  One of my "lightbulb moments" was actually at a bar.  I went in the intention of having three drinks.  After the third I put my coaster on top of the glass and told the bartender no more.  I finished my pinball game and turned around to see another drink.  I picked it up and realized that I was drinking a drink I didn't want and I didn't have the power to put it down.  I realized at that moment that I didn't drink because of my wife, the dog, not having a job etc.  It was then that I knew I was the one that was the problem and that I needed help.  Until then there wasn't anything anybody could say or do to get me to want to stop.

The best advice I can offer is to just be you.  4-5 beers a night doesn't sound like a lot to me but then again I am not your friend.(Wow, that sounds terrible.  please don't take that the wrong way.)  If her drinking is bothering you I would suggest trying al anon.  There you may learn ways to take care of yourself and also be of better help to your friend.  Keep in mind,  she may not be an alcoholic yet.  She may also never get to that point.  If she ever does get to that point just be there to help support her when she wants help and wants to change,  and keep the "I told ya so's" to yourself.  Good luck and God Bless!!!

[narla]

All my drinking was done at night,I was drinking spirits 6 to 10 a night,I did this on and off, mostly on for 34 years.You cannot get her to stop she has to want to for herself,Only one of my closest friends knew the extent of my drinking and she realised nothing she said would do any good.

[Tab57]

This "lightbulb" moment you refer to is equivalent to your friend hitting bottom. An alcoholic must hit bottom before they will admit they need help. Until they admit that they need help will you not be able to effectively help them. However when they do reach that point you can help them.

[isthiscp]

Thanks for your reply! She has a mildly fatty liver but was told by her dr this was no big deal. So I guess she feels if the doc says no problem, green light, continue. I have "gently" raised the subject but it was laughed off. I know she has about 4-5 beers in the evening(I know she never drinks during the day as she has a busy job). Am I over reacting? I know its not a huge amount of alcohol(or is it?)in the scheme of drinking. I hope I'm not over-stepping the mark Denise but did you drink heavier than this or for a long time? I know you cant make a horse drink even if you lead him to water but I also dont want to destroy a 20 year friendship either. Dont get me wrong, she isn't getting sloshed and running naked in the street. Just concerned. Thanks  

[narla]

I had a blood test and found out I was damaging my liver,in 2 years my liver enzymes tripled,I had just become a grandmother and wanted to see my grandson grow up,the light was suddenly turned on and I knew what I had to do.
I was also a fuctioning alcoholic,had no problems other than my health.

Denise