allergy and ear problems

My son suffers with allergies. He is alergic (allergic) to mold spores and pollen. He has also had ear problems since he was born. He is 13 now. He had tubes when he was 2. And we found out later that it left a perforation in his ear drums (a whole). So he has had to have both ears grafted. We took him to the doctor today and he said the ear drum is gone. We took him to this dr when he was 8 and he took one look at him and said he had allergies and in order to get his ears better we had to get the allergies under control. His alergist seems to think he his doing fine and when we see the ear dr he is disappointed in his progress. We have done all that we can to try to help with his allergies. He gets shots every 2 weeks and takes nasonex if needed. I am so aggrevated about this whole ear thing. His right ear is fine not perfect but doing good. So dr suggested one more surgery to correct it, but also acted like it was not life threatning and we didnt have to do anything if we did not want to. I am sorry to ramble on but my question is would it be life threatning to leave it alone now. There is another surgery that can be done but it is more complicated and could result in greater complications. Has anyone had this problem where there eardrum is completly gone. I just need some reasurrance to ease my mind. Doctors just dont explain things good. Sometimes it is nice to talk with someone who has the same problem. I am just getting worried now. Thanks for listening.

[Duchess47]

I had a perforated ear drum for years.  when it was getting larger because of chronic infections, I had the graft done.  Although I still suffer from chronic ear infcetions sometimes extremely bad, my graft is still o,k,  What is the surgery they are talking about exactly?  What happened to the eardrum?   No eardrum means hearing loss and infections as far as I koww.  I may be wrong as I only know of my own situation.