Alzheimer's Disease Community
just a note from my heart to yours
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This forum is for questions and support regarding Alzheimer Disease basics, Daycare Centers, Caregivers, Confusion, Decision Making (Poor), Diagnosis, Family Issues, Home Care, Identification Methods, Judgment (Poor), Living with Alzheimer’s, Memory Loss, Nursing Home Care, Prevention, Treatment

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just a note from my heart to yours

GoodMorning to All:  wanted to let everyone we are here to talk if you need to, as i have been threw this with my mom it is not easy and takes a lot out of their love ones, so if your caring for a love one who is going threw this please take the time to take care of yourself, eat,get rest and have your time away so that when they need you most you can be there .

there was times i just could not go another min, but i did and i was so stressed at times, but than i look at my Moms sweet face and her smile and i knew why i was there and that i had to keep going on her Journey with her. I miss my mom so much and Blessed to have the last 7 years with her in my home. so when it gets hard and your ready to give up. try and remember that its not that persons fault thay are like they are its the Disease and if they could change it they would.

love them all you can . GOD BLESS each of you .Barbara
3 Comments Post a Comment
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212161_tn?1410016711
thank you for your kind words,  so sorry your seeing this in your friend and what a great friend you are to try and help her threw this time in her life, it will not be easy to watch, and your heart will break at times, but you will get the Blessing from being with her and doing for her.

i am always here to talk anytime and i will try to help you out as best as i can. i am not a dr but i have lived many years with loved ones who have been threw this and are now gone. ask me anything and i will see what i can do for you . GOD BLESS YOU
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Avatar_m_tn
Good afternoon,
You are a wonderful daughter, any parents would like very much to have you.  I have three children but I am going through with my husband on my own.  My daughter comes to visit from time to time, she has her own 2 little children which really she can not help us much but it does give us a wonderful time to see them.
Yes, there are times stressed out and just want to put him into a home, but i still can not do it and I fully know that he will go down hill.  He is overall healthy and still aware what I am going through with him and refusing to go home as he said it is not time for him just yet!
I lost my patient and cry seeing him get more cofused.  I regret that I can not keep my anger or my patience.  It is not right to do that to him.
I have been searching a good home for him to make sure he will be well looked after. I cry more often than before, and feel guilty doing it to him when he do some damage to the house or wet the floor and ignore your direction as he can not understand.
My two boys are not helping much, they come to see us twice a week for a a couple of hours just to have a chat and talk to their dad.  They have to go to work and the weeked they would want to enjoy with their own business and family.
Being a mother and a wife, I don't know how we manage to do every thing since we gave birth to them.  By nature, mother always have multi skills to look after her family and work full time as well.  On the contrary the children do not have that skills or compassion to do.  
You are a wonderful daughter I wish I had one like you but yet it will hurt me so to put burden on you.  It is hard work to look after an adult who turns into being a child once again.  I am eaten up with his Alzheimer.  I am trying to give myself time off from him, listen to my own language music, shopping and talking to another commutor on the train or bus even in public but I am still feeling sad from time to time why when we get older then we should have a happy life not going through this sort of unhappiness and long time goodbye.  We both are suffering and family as well.  This is only fact of life what is meant to be then we can not alter it at all.
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212161_tn?1410016711
First let me say GOD BLESS YOU, I know all the feelings your going threw, and please dont feel guilty at all, its very normal to have these feelings and more.
I can say its not a one person Job, it just cant happen that way, it takes a lot to get someone threw that journey and for the care takers to come out sane.
you are doing the Best you can by yourself, and your Heart is hurting along with trying to make sure hes ok.

It was me and my Dad, now my Dad is 78 years old but he steped up to the plate and took his part, i got to go up-stairs at night and rest, now there was dys i was with them even at night but i still got time away. yes i pulled my hair out at times, but never would i walk away from my parents, they were there for me so i was there for them.

please dont feel quilty about finding a good home for him, as it gets worse, you will need someone to help you bathe him, feed him, put him in chairs, make sure if hes walking hes got his walker and than you still have to walk with him, he will go threw bad spells of yelling and hating you and the world,   my mom was so sweet never would i dreamed she could get so mean at times, biting and yelling , hitting, cussing things my mom would never do, the meds and the diease makes them someone they are not. i told myself many times its not my mom its the Disease, my mom was somewhere in there and she could not get out.

unless you have been threw this , you dont know. lots will tell you what you should do, but i must say only you can decide whats best for not only him but you as well. i went threw it with a mom not a husband so i really dont know what to say other than what i did with my mom, and every case is different .

i can say love him and let him know your there for him, there will be days my mom was scared and needed to know i was there . she got scared of my dad but never me, i was her secure person, she needed to see me and know i was there for her.

please take the time for yourself as well, eat.sleep and get out , you need that time away, if you dont get it you will hate who he has become not who he was.

i say your doing the right thing by looking now for a good home, one thats close by that you can drop in at anytime, check to make sure hes being treated right. go at feeding times to make sure hes being feed, changed . theres more to keeping him than just waking up everyday doing the reg stuff, he will be falling and getting into stuff he never did, trying to get out of the house and wonder away. its not a one person job.


always here to talk, my prayers are with you . please keep in touch. Heart
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