when is it time for skilled nursing

[kahopes]

my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2007.  i tried caring for her at home but could not longer do it. we (my sisters brothers and I) moved her to an adult care facility 1 24 12.  we were recently advised because her incontinence is un-managed we will need to soon place her in skilled nursing.  she is totally ambulatory, she is confused but still communicates (speaks).  we toured skilled nursing facilities and know it will kill her at least emotionally to be placed in a snf at this point in time.  we live in new york is it true that no longer understanding the process of relieving ones self but having the ability to get to the toilet is reason for skilled nursing placement?

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

So sad to hear that shes having a hard time, and even sadder that her family is having to see her go threw this, but if not for family where you they be.

sounds to me like shes getting into the other stages where she will soon forget alot, and is going to need alot more help.   my mom went threw thoses stages and yes its so hard to get them more help because they still feel like they are doing good.

I know how hard it is to become the parent and no longer the child, but as they get futher along in this we have to take over and do whats best for them, their saftey and to try and make their life a little better even thought they think we are doing them wrong.

my mom has cused me out so many times told me she hoped i died but i know this is not my mom talking and that somewhere in there my mom is the sweet lady shes always been, so plz try and remember that.

i say if the home shes in now is telling ya this, than i think its time to take other steps for her, they have delt with this am sure for years and know what she needs and what they can and cannot do for her.

i would check them all out and try to put her where you think would be best for her, clean and maybe she could have a room not so close to where they are really bad and she wont have to see the worse of the people.

they do have wings in most homes where some floors are where the worse ones are and they just sit around in hall ways and it would up-set me to. so maybe she can be on a floor where most are not in later stages and she will feel ok with that.

no matter how you go, your mom will know in her heart that you love her and your doing the best for her. prayers are with you as you make this choice.

i have my mom in my home and its not easy , it has changed my life alot so i can understand her being where shes took care of and ya can visit .
my dad is here with us to , he does not want to put her in home, but i must say if it was up to me i would put her there , so she can have a better life with ones who know more of what she needs and so we could have our life back to. i love my mom with all my heart but there just comes a time where you have to have help.

always here to talk if you need to, plz keep me up with your mom and how shes doing .

also plz take care of yourself thats so inportant,

[kahopes]

Thank you for your response heartflutter....We moved her to facility she was evaluated for the Adult Care Dementia Unit, which is where she is now.  They say she has toileting issues.  She doesn't understand how to go to the bathroom now.  She needs prompts for everything from sitting on the toilet, cleaning herself after and pulling up her pants.  They tell me she urinated on the floor of another resident, and that they have found waste in her bathroom in inappropriate  places (wastebasket, hamper, in towels, in the sink).  They put her on a two hour toileting schedule but still have concerns for the long term.  They also mention she is pouring her beverage into her food, and seems to be getting confused with how to feed herself.  We visited the skilled nursing facility at this facility and others in the community as well, most people seem so much more advanced than her, I fear she will give up if we move her. Even now at the Adult Care level she asks us to take her home whenever we visit.  She doesn't remember her home of 47 years just knows where she is isn't it.  Again, thank you, I don't wish this on anyone. It's a nightmare.

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

hum its hard to say.
first is she in depends where she can change herself and does not go all over the house
second can she still feed/bathe and get her meals
can she still get around good, does she still know who ya are and what things are.

its very hard to put someone in a nursing home, and if they are still with us its even harder to do.

what is her dr saying.  i see if ya do not want to put her there than she needs to go home with her family and ya hire someone full time to be with her would that work for ya.