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Should I give this up now?
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Should I give this up now?

I was running last year and holding my stool almost every day. I never had to use the bathroom until I was about an hour into my run. So I would find myself in the A.M. trying to force out my poop. And then later having to use the bathroom and holding myself until i got back to my house.
One day in april while trying to poop pressing very hard I felt a hemmorhiod pop out. It went away and within two weeks I started getting alot of pain after running while holding stools. I then saw a stripe of blood on the side of one stool. I went right in to the doctors and after getting a colonoscopy i was told I had an internal hemmorhoid that was moderate and an anal fissure where 90% of all Fissures accure. I started to panic ( i have had panic attacks all my life and hypochdria).
I ended up having to have surgery over a month and a half ago because my fissure started giving me muscle spasms and the muscle spasms made it so that I was in ALOT of pain. The surgery is very common and they say alot of people with fissures have to get them. Since the surgery I have improved ALOT, Almost no pain at all.

However after reading about hpv and anal cancer ( and having protected anal sex once years ago)  I have been very worried. Through all of this I have seen 5 doctors I have 2 digital exams by 2 differnt doctors who have felt the hemmorhoid, 1 colonoscopy, 1 anoscopy. A cbc blood test (normal)  Surgery with probes up my butt spreading my butt so far apart that the sergion could cut my muscle and exam the area very throually. He told me it was just a tear not cancer. I went in for a post op and was told I was healing. I also demanded after my digital exam to have an HPV swab to check for abnoramal cells (anal pap). And yesterday I got a call that the tests came back clean.

I still find myself looking over my bowls everyday. Checking every anything about my body. the stress has given me a back pain when swallowing around my left shoulder blade. When I went to see my message therpaist she said I had so many stress knots in my neck and back. I barely sleep at night. I took out a life insurance policy and I never hang out with friends anymore and stopped running. I guess what im asking is do you think all my bases are coverd and I should just forget about it now and go back to my life and start finding a new fear ( before this i was afraid i had ALS and before that It was inner ear cancer/ brain tumor).
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Avatar_m_tn
thanks god u r ok, try to calm down, i know what you feel, i suddenly got a little ball outside my anus last week and im so worry doctor said that can by hemorroid, no blood, no pain, no nothing he recommended my a cream xiloproct plus. is smaller now but im still worry
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