I posted a question on Yahoo! Answers a few days ago, and someone told me it may be a bulging cerebral aneurysm. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything all day because now I'm even more terrified. A brain aneurysm scares me even more than a brain tumor. I'm too freaked out to type much, so I'll just paste the details of the question I asked yesterday:
"I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
When I was about 14 years old, I started having strange heath problems. Looking back, these things were obviously neurological issues. I lost my sense of taste (literally, I would bite into food, and it would taste like plastic), and I started having trouble pronouncing words. I hid it from my parents at first because I was terrified. I thought I had tongue cancer or something. Then when I was about 17, I started having dizzy spells. I went to a doctor who told me I was fine, so I tried to ignore it for the next couple of years. This led my dad to believe I was making it all up, too, but the thing is all the doctor really did was check my weight, ears, eyes, heart, etc. There was no way he could've known if there was something wrong with my brain from that,
Then the 24/7 headaches started. I convinced myself they were migraines and just learned to live with the pain, although there were often times when I would cry myself to sleep it hurt so bad. It was just headaches, though, so it was possible to ignore them.
Then started the balance problems. I always feel like I'm about to fall over. Then the episodes where I felt like I was going to faint and the episodes where it felt like I couldn't think straight. Then the memory problems...I used to have an awesome memory, and now I sometimes forget what I'm doing in the middle of things. Then I started having trouble coming up with the words I was looking for to say what I was trying to say. Then the motion problems, I guess you would call them...being in a car or around flashing lights makes me nauseous. There are about 15 other symptoms, but you guys get the idea.
Being alive is torture for me. I've tried explaining to people what's going on, and no one understands. My head hurts SO SO bad 24/7...there's never a second in my life that it doesn't feel like there's a knife inside of my skull. All of the other problems are really unpredictable. I'll be okay one second, and then BOOM I feel like I'm about to lose consciousness or like I can't think straight. Sometimes it literally feels as though half of my brain is turned off, hard to explain.
I can't do ANY of the things I used to enjoy doing. Even going to the grocery store is a horrifying experience because I never know when I'm going to start feeling spacey. I recently went to Universal Studios Island of Adventure with my family and sat out for 90% of the rides because I was afraid of how they'd make me feel. My sister asked why I wouldn't go on things; I told her because rides make me sick now, and she started mocking me. She thinks I'm making it all up. I went on the Harry Potter ride to shut my family up, and it felt like the whole park was spinning when I got off. I went on the log flume ride and threw up at the end of it. I used to go on rides over and over when I was younger, and now even little rides like log flumes make me ill.
I just...can't take this. Everyone thinks I'm crazy. I know I'm not making it up. I want the pain to go away; it hurts so bad. I want to be able to think straight again, and I want to be able to go walk to the store without fearing that I may pass out or have a seizure or something on the way. I want to walk without feeling like I'm gonna fall over. I want to get a job. I want to date. I want to do something that isn't laying in my bed all day. :(
It feels like my life is over. If I have a brain tumor or something, I've had it for close to a decade, so it's got to be beyond repair now. Any hope that I would ever have an enjoyable life left me a long time ago. I don't know what to do but cry I'm too frozen with fear to go to a doctor. I don't want anyone operating on my brain..any other body part, fine, cut me open, but my brain is a whole different story.
You say You are too frozen with fear to go to a doctor so in that case - I'm not sure anything I say can be of help but I would like You to know:
I had a brain aneurysm a few years ago. The only reason I survived is because I was at the hospital, lying on a pap-smear table at the time it burst. I was air lifted to their major hospital where they perform all their nuerosurgery. It saved my life!! Time was of the essence!!
Like You, I suffered headaches for years. Frequent, horrendous headaches that would last 10, 12, 15 days at a time. NOTHING would relieve my headaches and I suffered greatly with the pain. I would lose my sight with these headaches. By the time I had the aneurysm, the headaches had become the "norm" for me and I had years ago quit seeing doctors but I continued to suffer. When my headaches began I was a small child and it was years before CAT scans and MRI's. Had I gone to a doctor since the advent of those diagnotic "tools" my aneurysm might have been seen before it "burst". Had I not been where I was at the time it occured, I would not be here to tell You this story. I never in a Zillion, Trillion years would have "elected" to have my skull opened and my brain operated on but today I would "volunteer" for ANY surgery that saved my life. This was 15 years ago - I would not give up these last 15 years, or the ones yet ahead of me, cuz I'm afraid to find out if I need surgery. Having said all this - what happened to me may not be what is going on with You BUT You need to be seen by a doctor and evaluated.
I would be more afraid of having an aneurysm burst in my brain than I would be afraid to have it removed. Today it's possible to do aneurysm surgery and even tumor removal without invasive surgery - I think it's called "ray beam surgery"?? I'm not real knowledgeable about what/how they do these things today - but if I had a problem I would be my own advocate!! I would seek a diagnosis and I would do my research!! Do You know what a hero is? A hero is NOT someone who is unafraid - a hero may be very afraid but goes forward anyway.
Good Luck to You
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