6 year old son lying and stealing and urinating on my futon bed
my 6 year old son has been really out of control since may 3 2010 .he came home from school yeah mom i dont want to live with you anymore.i went to school and told my special ed yeacher you dont buy me nothing as far candy anymore.i told him you have my house smelling like urine.he told me he was to busy watching tv to go the bathroom.so he told me i am going to tear your car up and your home.he runs wild through stores.he waits until i go to sleep and steal anything he can eat sweet.then he tell you a lie .i didnt do that.i never believe him ever.i have bags under my eyes have lost a lot of weight and have tried to get help like 150 mg of seroquel for him.he talks smart mouthed to me.roll his head and neck at me telling me off.ball his fist in my face.bit me through my forehead when i sleep because he said i didnt wake up.autism july2006 now pdd as of may 2009.i dont believe either diagnosis.told to go to counseling for me to cope with the hitting from my kid.every charms up him because he dont act the same way in front of others.i've tried to get my uncles to get through to him but dont work.he ate 5 candy bars and said uhm that was good.he has stole my money too.i told the case manager but redirection dont help.when he has done something he runs and laugh about it.my relatives say i look bad losing weight.but he looks healthy because he's eating up everything.he has threaten to tell his teachers on me if i dont buy him what he wants.he dont do his school work but they passed him to first grade.he crawls on his knees to steal or slide something and he looks me in the eye and say it wasn't me.then he sirks a grin on his face.when he eats up evetrything everybody tells me he's a growing boy.i have to eat to grow mentally and physically to raise him i tell everyone.he's a nice looking so many people but the boyfriend who's been around him for 5 1/2 years swears he dont do no wrong so we are feuding.what can be done.
It sounds as if something is happening to this child, I would start by getting some help for him , it could also be the meds he is taking so get that checked out, has he seen and heard this kind of behavior anywhere ,where does he spend his time when he's not with you, some of this could be learned behavior.Does he watch any TV not appropiate for his age , A red flag went up in my head when you describe his behavior, have you asked him why he is behaving like this , some pertinent questions and get some counselling going to get to the bottom of it .
I have tried to psychological help for him since he was 2 years old.started risperadal at 3 .100mg of seroquel twice a day in 2007.10 mg risperadal in may 2009,and now at almost 7 years old 150 mg of seroquel.he was off medication for 6 months with same behaviors in 2009.now this morning i wake with a huge pain my left kidney and side come to find out my 5 year old niece said he bit you in your left and was punching several times to whereas i'm still in my pain.my niece said i tried to stop him but he tried to choke me to death.i asked him why he did it."i don't know" and mom when i lied on chenille about her telling on me it was me i lied i did beat you up.he also said you have tried to help me i was wrong.so he hasnt learned this behavior from no one in my home no one lives here but me and him.so this behavior is all his own.he's not your typical 6 year .has a concept of what he 's doing because he will boldly tell you why once he decides to tell the truth.i'm trying to see if i need to go to the emergency room from being hit so much by him.i'm 5'7 and weigh 98 pounds.he's 4'3 and weighs about 60 pounds.
From what you have posted here it definatly seems like he needs some help and counselling so go back to your doctor tell him about the behavior and get some counselling going, for whatever reason he is out of control . I still believe meds do cause many problems speak to the prescribing Doctor ...
he spoke to his case manager and told her okay i lied i beat my mother while she was sleep.i am a deep sleeper.so i go to the doctor about my side where he hit me in my kidney area.the doctor tells me well when you tell him to go to sleep and dont then you are endangering your child.i be really exhausted from being up all day with him he never sleeps hardly but when he do it's hard to a chance and sleep because he's bound to get up while i'm still asleep.he dont have no emotion for what he's done and doesnt care.i now have people asking me are you afraid of your kid.and the doctor said if he bit you at 9 am on 6/22/2010 where's the teeth mark on 6/23/2010.but he said i punched you 4 times in your side and bit you.now everyone looks at me in fault
You have to get some help here ,he needs some help the situation is out of control, there is nothing else to do but ask the child services ,if you live here in the US thats what we have and if you cant cope with him you ask for help...someone will advise and help you, keep trying ...
the only child services do is take the children away.and give the parents trouble to get they're children back.child services break up families and ruin lives.it's sad if they are the only resouurce.i might be better praying to god for strength and going to church.child services is not the kid of god i want to serve here on earth they are some sort of god on earth because of the're power and the authority to control parents while children at any age do what they want.if children services could do it all for family.so many adults would not be dead by hands of gangs children 14 and 15 years old minors doing what they feel.if children services cant stop it many children would not in the juvenile system and parents will feel knowing they did the best they could.i am against child services they protect children in the wrong and in the right.
I didnt mean in any respect that anyone should take your children away unless they are being abused....I meant that they may be someone to help guide you, I dont even know what country you are living in ...read my post again .......
You have your hands full with quite a challenge. It sounds like he is a tyrant. As a parent, the battle lines are some times drawn when you realize that it is a battle of wills. Others have given good suggestions in getting the medical help and seeking the psychological. You mention the spiritual with praying. With that praying is asking for wisdom for the knowledge and strength to do what needs to be done.
Here is America, since materialism and consumerism has been a god to many, children are fully aware of who has what and who doesn't. I wanted to share with you something that affirmed a positive quality for me the other day at work when I saw a Father's Day card from my client's fully grown daughter who is a Music Teacher. She thanked him for giving her what she needed....not what she wanted. What she needed was time and love. What she wanted is immaterial at this point because in the end, it wasn't what mattered the most!!!!
As a parent, we need to have an eye/heart to the future as how equipped our children are to face life. If we give in to their demands, they will make terrible citizens to live with.
Protecting yourself if need be, and documenting behaviors, etc. to keep accurate records may be necessary. Also keeping a good line of communication with those working with him as to what works and doesn't. If he can hold on to impulses long enough to impress others but lose it with you, there is a reason.
As a parent who raised a special needs child, I saw and experienced the energy drain. She is 27, doesn't smoke, steal, deliberately lie to get things or drink. She has a caring heart but is not perfect. We went through alot over the years, but sometimes you have to resort to "tough love" and taking others up on offers to help.
I wish you the best in finding ways, being open to creativity and getting rest when you can so you can be in better shape to deal with this child of yours. He is not hopeless and you are not helpless although at times it may seem that way.
I have voted you as my best answer.Because your kind words and gestures to me.yes it has been a mental drain,you can even see in my face and my lost of weight.i weigh 98 lbs at 5'7 and the first thing people in society suspect is that i'm on drugs in which i've never but i am tons of stress . you can relate me because you have traveled down this road that i am now just starting out on.god bless you and i will continue to get myself together and my son. thank you again.
Thank you very much. I hope you can remember that others only see glimpses. You know what you go through day in/out & what you try do. You don't have to prove your self to them. You are surviving and looking for ways to cope with a difficult child and love him through the challenges. That says a lot about you :-)
There is a lot of information out there on handling children who are like this. Once he he sees his power loses steam, he may try other methods, but if each one is met the same way and he sees he gets "zero" miles out of it. The sad reality is that children can learn & want "bad" attention just as much as "good" attention.
Sounds like you need to take control in the only way you may have~ a full on change of diet...absolutely no candy for lit'l ones who can't control themselves! I hardly ever give my daughter candies or sweets because when I do, I will see a change in her almost immediately, and it is a state of defiance and robust activity that she was usually already engaged with...but it gets more crazy. She is allowed to sweeten cereals, and have ceratin sweet foods...but SUGAR is a real culprit. I would treat your son as if he has an allergy to this stuff. He possibly does...and just like any addiction, weaning him from the thing that is making him beserk is only good for him so, your the mom here.
Try to keep anything that isn't a natural sugar, like say sweet potatoes, or fruits away from your child for several months at least and see if he is more managable. Sounds like he is really hard to handle and i feel for you, but many of us will feed the dragon...if you know what im saying and then we cry WHY!!!???
Look into books that help you learn more about natural health, food as medicine and the like. i think a day alone at the library might be in order for you to discover what some common solutions to these things may be. I wish you the best. Two of three of my children pee'd the bed nights, they had enuresis...probably inherited from my mother and their dad. I lived with the frustration by using matress covers, waking them up in the night, and walking them to the bathroom all groggy, for many many years. They still wet beds on a nearly nightly basis until the teens...it is not the worst thing that can happen. look at it in a healthy light...it will probably stop by manhood...haha
My two sons finally stopped...sometimes I cried with all the constant pee laundering, but they could not control it so, I tried to let them know they had a sickness called enuresis and one day could look forward to outgrowing that. It helped us all to deal with the daily embarrassment and hassles. Please try not to be upset over things out of his control. It won't be good for your relationship.
He may have learned to use his diagnosis as a manipulation to try and get his needs met...(candy, etc0 but you must'nt let him run the show. I know that children who have problems may really like to have a very tidy, clean environment...it calms them. Also, a chore chart/ responsibility is good for any child regardless of ability. if you have on there put one sock in the laundry basket and he does it, then you can celebrate that until it works up to him doing his laundry...believe me. Kids don't like not having schedules, either...that I know of. Keeping a meandering schedule if you can for him...same bedtimes...same bath routines, and such...the repetition is calming to a child. And being told wehat is next. My daughter was horrible to raise for five well...six years...she is seven and using some of these techniques has worked wonders. there are certain things i discovered to stop tamtrums, that became lifesavers...like saying ten minutes more to play then we are leaving... ceratin children need the mental adjustment so they can be ready to go or closer to it when fun times are about to break off...rather than looking at your child as a series of problems...if you can, look at them as someone gravely in need of your care and assistance...That always helped me when i was upset.
If my girl wasn't more difficult to raise than three sons (one very defiant) i would not approach you, because i would not have experience with tantrums, outrage, and crazy behavior, from a child to the extent that i have.
Experience...is hopefully the best teacher...hope I have been of some use to you~
(Hope you'll let us know how things are progressing)...
Sometimes folks will tell us to "Just Give It To God", and yet sometimes God has just given it to us, to see what we would do with it.
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