My husband can go from zero to 60 in less than a second when it comes to getting angry. He is so intimidating at times, that I’ve actually seen grown men cower when he starts ranting. He wants to begin a family, but quite honestly I’m not sure it’s a good thing to bring children into a relationship that can be so unpredictable and explosive. I’ve tried to get him into counseling, but he refuses, saying that there is nothing wrong with him. Is there any advice you can offer regarding how to help my husband? Do you think he will change once children come along and he has to put their needs first?
Don't kid yourself. He won't change until he faces life consequences from his temper and it sounds like there are none. Don't bring a child into it. See a counselor and explore why you are still there.
I have been reading up on Magnesium . I learned that in this day and age, the kind of diet we all get does not provide enough Magnesium Its a mineral that gets used by the body at every stressful moments. So daily, it has to be replenished. Eating good food is not enough. Its a mineral that just needs to be supplemented. Amazing results. Its for just about every body as we all are under stress. Taking Magnesium 320 to 400 mg a day helps . There are several kinds of Magnesium, its also on google the right kind to take. I used Mg Glycinate 3 caps a day as it does not cause loose stools.. but I have switched to Mg L Threonate as this kind gets through the blood brain barrier and helps the brain for Memory..Read up on it, or even just google Magnesium. People who are like time bombs who looks like they are about to blow at any time is a clear sign of Low Magnesium. So people who are angry or stressed out all the time are mostly Mg deficient...And so much more. Its an amazing supplement that does not get advertised as not much money could be made from it..
I agree that Magnesium is an essential mineral that we mostly would benefit by. The thing here that screams trouble, is that your husband refuses to see he has an anger management problem. He chose to marry you because he can get away with treating you and your children poorly. I think he IS aware he has a problem and has sought you out because you accept him "as is". Otherwise, you would not have married him without him getting help for himself. There are reasons why he acts the way he does. Like an addict, only he can reach out and get the help he needs. He needs to talk to a therapist to get to the reasons why he acts the way he does. There's no cutting corners here and nothing that you can do stop him from acting the way he does.Children will make it worse. These types of people suck the life out of anyone they are near, like oxygen is needed for fire. If you choose to take this abuse, you should be looking into why with a therapist of your own. You're an adult and therefore it is your right to ruin your life, but if you are moral and decent, you won't allow kids to become fodder for this man child. He needs help to grow up, and I'm not saying this to be cruel. I'm saying it as an Adult Child of Dysfunction who was not raised to be a good person, or a good parent. I had to get back to the original problems that had me "acting out". Figure out from his childhood why he is acting this way, and get him help. You cannot give him the gift of a child for acting badly. Pity the poor child that is used for any such experiment. I was one, and it was hell on earth. You do deserve to be married to a find decent mentally stable man, but you may just have to admit that you jumped the gun marrying this guy, before finding out whether he has what it takes to help himself for the sake of a family. If you need a friend, please feel free to reach out to anyone on here, via private message. You need not be alone during this time. God Bless.
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