Angry Teacher - Need help for the sake of my students/job
I've read a bunch of anger management stuff and things like 'relaxation techniques', meditating, and yoga does not work for me. Does anyone have any new ideas?
I get angry really quick before I can even attempt to stop myself. I take things too personally. I am extremely impatient. These are all qualities that I hate and I can't seem to change.
I started my first job as a teacher in a new country in 2012. The first 6 months were tough - in a new country, didn't know the language, didn't know anyone except my boyfriend, my boyfriend was in the army and I saw him once a month, etc. But I got through it.
2013~2014 was great. I blossomed as a teacher and became loved by almost all of the students and made great relationships with my coworkers.
2015 was the worse year of my life. The administration changed and I was forced to follow a highly stressful curriculum that I and all my students hated. 30% of my students dropped out of the special program I teach because they hated it so much and I had to work over time (8 hours every Saturday) to do lesson planning.
This caused me to become highly agitated and easily angered. Things my students did last year that wasn't a big deal to me became something I felt was extremely disrespectful towards me. I used to be a very bright and happy teacher but now I always appear tired and stressed in class.
This has caused me to blow up on my students more and more. I feel extremely apologetic towards them. Today, I became so frustrated with one boy who kept playing instead of getting his textbook that I just gave up and left the class. I took 40 minutes to collect myself by throwing all the trash out and recycling all the papers I've been keeping. Then I went back and apologized and explained that this year has been so stressful to me that every little thing seems to set me off.
I've decided to quit my job and will be leaving in February. My job has been the source of my anger but I don't think my anger management problems will go away because when I was younger, I had some problems relating to angry due to a non-supportive family environment.
My environment affects my mood too much and I want to be able to control myself better. I can't control my environment all the time so I have to learn to control myself.
Are you big on exercise? It can help a great deal to manage stress.
How is your vitamin and mineral intake? Magnesium is supposed to be the "chill pill" in the vitamins category. If you take it, get the 250 mg tablets and cut them in half, and begin with just a half pill a day. They can give you gas and intestinal cramps if you take too much without building up.
Finally, how is the feeling you have of control in other parts of your life? If you feel like it's all out of your hands, you'll be easier to anger than if you feel like it is mostly in your control and only a few things are out of your hands. I'm sure that if everything were going 100% and then one boy wouldn't get his textbook, you would have just ignored it or laughed it off.
It might be less optional than you think, if you want to get on top of your anger, to find some kind of active movement that you like, to give you the good endorphins of exercise. It doesn't need to be push-ups and jumping jacks, things people enjoy doing can also qualify as exercise, like dancing, or building things, or any task that requires muscle. My sister is on a dragon-boat team, for example. My cousin dances a half-hour a day at home. It might be important, if you are serious about saving yourself from your temper, to find some kind of movement that gives you the benefit of exercise.
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