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Emotional Abuse?
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Emotional Abuse?

I have been with my boyfriend for two years now. We have a 6 month old son.
In the beginning of our relationship, it was a roller coaster ride. He would get mad at me, break up with me, talk to me about what happened, get back together, be fine for a few months, repeat. I've almost always known that he has anger issues. He gets so easily irritated, will go from hating someone to liking them again and back to hating them and so on. He makes constant excuses for these, and seems to be convincing himself of the reasons for his behavior. But, it didn't seem like too much of an issue at that time. We lived in Nebraska and decided to move to a different state where I could be closer to my family. I had to come first, because my family didn't have room for the both of us. So it was agreed that I would come here and get an apartment and then bring him here. I found out I was pregnant shortly after I arrived. I told him immediately of course, and this is where the real problems started. On one of our conversations on the phone, he got mad at me, told me he didn't love me, and told me to get a very good lawyer for custody of the baby (I was about 8 weeks along). He was just screaming at me over the phone. Later, he said he was sorry and that it was just because he was stressed with us being so far apart. That seemed understandable, so I let it go (although I think a part of me has hated him ever since). When he came here, things were dine for about a month and then I made him mad somehow and that turned into him saying he didn't love me, he hated me, and I was a c*** and so on. Then he started screaming at me about how I cheated on him (he broke up with me and I engaged in sexual activity with an ex, but my boyfriend says that he didn't really break up with me he just said he did to see if I would choose him or choose staying with my family during a visit 6 months prior to this). Then he left the room and threw a picture of me against the wall hard enough to put a small hole in the wall (he said he meant to break the picture of himself). Then he was fine again for months.
I was very sick during my pregnancy and he cooked, cleaned, worked, and took care of me by the way.
So months go by, we have some more arguments but nothing that stands out except for when I was 9 months pregnant we were joking around and I guess I accidentally knocked him off balance and he raised his fist at me (the only time he has done this) realized what he was doing and then stomped off and punched the wall. So then I have the baby and everything is fine again for about a month. The baby is crying and won't stop (poor baby had gas pains) and he's holding the baby and starts crying. I take the baby away and he tells me that he just wanted to smack the baby but knew that wouldn't do any good. He has never harmed our child, but he gets very aggravated with him easily. And then everything was fine for months. He still had anger issues with people at work, and he cut his hair wrong once and put a small hole in the wall with his fist, but nothing towards me so I was thinking everything was going to be okay. Then about 2 months ago, we had an argument over something stupid (can't remember what) and we break up. I just remember that being highly dramatic and then he goes back to normal. About 3 weeks ago, he I woke him up to see if he wanted to go to dinner (he has a new job and was working at 4 in the am) and he gets pissy with me because I had him watch the baby for a few hours that morning so I could nap. He tells me that he is thinking about leaving me and I'm fed up, so I tell him I will leave. Then he chases me down the stairs(I was terrified he was going to knock me down them since he was so close behind me) and tells me to leave the baby with him. No way was I doing that and I told him so. He basically has a standoff with me at the baby's swing. I was talking calmly because I didn't want to upset my baby. He tells me if I try to take him then he would possibly hurt me (later he tells me he would never hurt me it was just to get my attention) finally I back off and he switches to completely normal again. He talks to me about his feelings and then says if I feel the need to take the baby and leave then to do it and that he was going to take steps and that I could have the apartment back in a few days. So I leave and then later I see on Facebook that he's at waffle house with a friend and he took a picture saying it was depression food. He then sends me a long text telling me how much he loves me and wants to be with me and our son and so on. So I go back. Then last Saturday we we're at a friends house drinking and he gets mad at me because he keeps trying to help me and is trying to get me in the car and I don't want to. I guess I hurt his feelings then he starts screaming at me calling me names and informs me he's done with me and he is leaving me and taking our son with him. At that point I do start yelling because I'm tired of that threat and tell him he can't take him, he has no way to feed him, and has no patience for him. I spend all day with our son taking care of him (and I love it honestly). And he tells me he is taking him and that I can't hold a job and I don't do anything except take care of our son. Which is kind of true so I backed off. So then I'm texting a friend of mine and he flips out takes my phone, takes the Sims card out, and then tells me if I get in the car and go home then he will give it back to me. He did this all in front of my friends.
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Avatar_f_tn
I know this is really long, but I would appreciate any and all advice.
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1548028_tn?1324616046
I really think you already know the answer.  You have said repeatedly, I thought this was going to get better, it did get better and then...  It has not gotten better in months.  I am afraid he has some major anger control issues.  He is the type that knows what he is doing is wrong but does it out of anger and then is sorry for his actions.  Do you really want your child to learn to handle disappointments and situations this way?  I am so afraid that the wall could be you one of these days.  I would never leave the baby with him alone because he becomes so frusterated with him easily.  Let's face it, babies cry and when he gets a little older they can talk back.  I don't think this will go over well with his dad even though this would be normal toddler behavior.  You need to file a restraining order and temporary custody of your child.  Go to your family and live with them.  If he really wants you back then, he will get serious counseling.  It really is not safe for you or your child.  Any woman's shelter would help you obtain a restraining order.  One of these days, I am afraid, he is going to hurt someone and won't be able to turn back until it's too late.  I am not saying he is a bad person but I am saying he needs help and you and the baby need to be safe.  What kind of family did he grow up in?  Goodluck.  Keep us posted.
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2080404_tn?1342418839
It sounds like he has a lot of anger problems he needs to work through, and the way he swings back and forth isn't healthy for either of you, or the baby. You may want to try talking to him about getting into therapy or help, if either his or your parents are around, ask them for advice or support. This situation isn't a good one, and I hope you can find a way to make it better.
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Avatar_f_tn
I have to say that u need to get out NOW! I was with a guy just like this when I was pregnant with my daughter. He ended throwing a door at me when I was 6 mos pregnant luckly he didn't hurt her. I left him and 2 yrs later he went to jail for murdering his girlfriend who was 7 mos pregnant with his kid. Believe me I know its hard my ex wasn't the father of my kid ( thank god ) but this isn't about u anymore u have to think about ur son do u really want him growing up thinkin these out burts and these behavior is ok? Something horrible is gonna happen if not to u then ur son or both. To me it sounds like bi polar which is treatable but he needs lots of help to control himself and get on the right medication. Please do urself a favor and get out don't go back till u know he his underline control and on meds. Make him show I doctures notes. Do whatever u have to to protect that baby he is the most important thing in ur life and being his mother it is ur job to protect him even if that means protecting him from his father
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Avatar_f_tn
I have to say that u need to get out NOW! I was with a guy just like this when I was pregnant with my daughter. He ended throwing a door at me when I was 6 mos pregnant luckly he didn't hurt her. I left him and 2 yrs later he went to jail for murdering his girlfriend who was 7 mos pregnant with his kid. Believe me I know its hard my ex wasn't the father of my kid ( thank god ) but this isn't about u anymore u have to think about ur son do u really want him growing up thinkin these out burts and these behavior is ok? Something horrible is gonna happen if not to u then ur son or both. To me it sounds like bi polar which is treatable but he needs lots of help to control himself and get on the right medication. Please do urself a favor and get out don't go back till u know he his underline control and on meds. Make him show I doctures notes. Do whatever u have to to protect that baby he is the most important thing in ur life and being his mother it is ur job to protect him even if that means protecting him from his father
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