Feel angry 80% of the time

So, I feel angry more than half of the time I'm awake and I hate it. I don't know what to do anymore.


My family is freaked out because little things set me off. If I see something that I dislike, it makes me immensely upset and I start yelling at whoever I feel is the cause. I'm starting to push all of my friends away because they don't want to have to deal with my attitude. My girlfriend is on the edge of breaking up with me for good because when I get angry, I just act like I don't care and I say or do anything whether or not it hurts her feelings. A few weeks ago, we got into such a horrible fight, I destroyed her room. I broke her stereo, ripped all her posters off of her wall, turned her bed over. It was terrible. And just earlier this week, I got so mad that I broke her brand new iPhone. I make my girlfriend cry and I'm so mad that I don't even react. Sometimes, I laugh when she cries. I'm lost. I don't know how to control my anger. I feel like I've tried everything and nothing's working. I'm tired of acting like I don't care. And I'm beginning to hate myself for what I do to her. Help me!!! I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

[lonewolf07]

I'm just guessing but I would imagine you are a relatively young man and have all kinds of ideas about what might be causing your rage.

The XYY chromosome theory was somewhat discredited years ago - that was when males with an extra Y chromosome were thought to be more inclined to anger and criminal behavior but that isn't necessarily the case.  It might have been discredited completely but you might want to research it.

Another favorite of some therapists is the anger at "your" parents, usually the mother but the father plays a part too.

What I tend to think - just a guess - is that you're not happy with your situation.  Don't think you're psychotic or "crazy" just that there are things in your life that overwhelm you and that you can't control and you have no outlet (or so you feel) except anger.  You said everything sets you off.  That isn't attitude - that's behavior.  Maybe you can't control your anger because you can't control certain aspects of your life and that is NOT an insult.  It's a comment from one person who is full of rage to another.  How do you think I feel when I hurt someone I love?  The same as you I bet.

You probably won't like what I'd advise you to do - the same thing I'm doing.  Therapy.  Shop around for a therapist and when you find someone you trust and feel safe with, just let him/her know how you feel.  I had to tell mine right at the beginning about the rage so we could establish limits.  There are even certain types of therapy that allow the client to physically get out his/her rage.  I've done it and it works but you have to keep going back if your rage comes back.  Drugs will dull the anger but won't find the underlying reason for it.

Sorry this was so long.  Don't be angry  = )

Good thoughts from one angry person to another.  Why do you think I'm a lone wolf when wolves travel in packs?

[L3XiTR0N]

I feel like that pretty much sounds like me. (Except for the relatively young man part. I'm a young girl who just graduated from highschool this month, but it's okay. Lol. )

I really hate my life at home. It's not abusive or anything, but I do feel as though I have control over nothing that goes on in my house. It's something that irritates me. I know that I like to have control over whatever is going on in my life and I'm guessing that because I don't, I feel like the only way I can express how much I dislike that is through my anger. And I don't even have any control over that.

Physically getting out my rage sounds like a lot of fun. Because when I get to a certain point of anger, all I want to do is throw things and hit people. It gets harder and harder to control my anger sometimes and the source may very well be my family. My mom has started dating someone that I don't like, and my dad passed away when I was 6 or so. Also, my older brother left and joined the navy last year and I haven't seen him since March and I barely hear from him. These could possibly be reasons why I'm so angry all the time? I don't feel angry with my dad for leaving. And I don't feel angry with my brother, but I do in fact feel a bit angry with my mom. I don't like the person she's dating, and this person treats her like ****. This person has cheated on her before and my mom always takes them back! UGH. I KNOW that I feel angry with my mom about that. I really really really dislike the person she is with.

I'm trying not to be angry. I'm trying really hard. But I feel like I'm going to break if I have to stay here. I'm 17 years old, and I'm trying to find a job so that I can save up and move out. It'll take awhile though. There are definitely many things at home that could be the actual reason for my anger. I just need to filter through them all and figure out which one is the main one?


'Til then, I'm keeping my cool the best I can. :)

[jo929]

I do beleive that you need therapy, also did your parents give you whatever you wanted as a child,if so this could be part of it, wanting your own way, but you could hurt someone physically with your anger so get help. you can control it with help.luck  jo

[lonewolf07]

Sorry - I guess when I hear about rage, I just think "male" yet I'm female myself with a lot of rage.

If you shop around you might be able to find a therapist with an "office" that allows you to physically express your rage.  I know it helped me.  There were limits, of course but just having a safe place to rage and vent and have a tantrum were really helpful.  Better to get the rage out now, at age 17, than to wait till you're older.  It sounds like your family situation really troubles you.

Sorry I haven't responded sooner.  I've been too angry to be online  = (

Stay cool  = )