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Yesterday a buddy asked me to come over and hang out cause he thought that the police were coming and he wanted me there in case they took him I could be there for his kids and so I could call his wife even though his kids are 17 and 13 and my fincee got upset and I flipped out said I was goin any ways and took off my ring and threw it across the room and then threw the remote against the wall so iguess my question is did I have a goid reason to get upset? I know throwing the ring and remote wasnt but thats how I get when I get really upset I throw and punch things like put my fist into the wall or the side of the house or I throw things. I cant control it sometimes I am also bipolar and,have ptsd from an abusive childhood what should I do???????? PLEASE HELP DONT WANT TO LOSE MY KIDS OR MY FINCEE
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134578_tn?1404951303
Well, see a therapist and learn some ways to deal with anger.  It is not just "off" (not angry) or "on" (punching the wall and throwing things).  There are 100 other things to do in between.  If you value your engagement and value your kids, you will find a good counselor and make every appointment.
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4173517_tn?1350602301
I go see one once a month but it doesnt seem to be helpin I still get really upset even though I try really hard not to get upset or stressed but it still happens
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Avatar_m_tn
Part of "seeing a therapist" has a lot more to it than just going to the meeting.  There should be some kind of a plan in place, involving coping techniques and some anger management techniques.  

Doing the work and staying in line are the hard parts.  They are the parts that you are directly responsible for....  (I know this as good as anyone.)  You've got to make changes but more than that, you have to want to make changes and you have to want those changes to stick.  It is work, and it is constant.

If your therapist has not worked on techniques or mechanisms with you, perhaps its time to change therapists.  Medication?  Are you taking any medication?  Often, therapy and medication go hand in hand.  Look at what you've got to lose, reevaluate your situation and make adjustments as necessary.

Good luck.
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4173517_tn?1350602301
Thank you and yes I take meds for my bipolar and depression but I just had another fight this mornin with her about my mother. My mother has screwed me over in the past but she is tryin to change and make it up and and 2 of my children are her grandchildren but she claims all 3 of them which for my mother is a big deal and she wants to come and see them. She was supposed to come tomorrow but she forgot she had an appointment so she wants to come today and my fincee is getting upset about plus likes to be controling and act like she is my boss and I HATE that but she also has alot of great qualities but that really pushes me over the edge. So my question is am I wrong for getting upset about my mother?
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi Jim I don't that's something to flip out about not like that and I no from experience. My mother. Was a bad mother so it depends did Shel do stuff to ur wife or kids don't try and defend her just cause she gave birth to u it took me alot of thearpy to relize that she was never gonna be a mother u said she had no probably with her coming tomarrow so she don't want company today not a big deal it's. Ur wife don't seem like u respect her very much don't b like me and lose ur family I lost my first wife because of crap like that
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Avatar_f_tn
Also I no I used to makevpromises and just not keep them I would just do everything I said I would never do so is it controlling or is it that ur not keeping promises and breaking trust and I no she is looking out for u as well ur not in the right state of mind
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Avatar_m_tn
My question to you is, is it worth being upset over?  I get your point and there was a time where I'd let the same thing upset me.  The deal is, my wife and I would not let something with my mother come between us.  As it turns out, my wife is the more rational person between the both of us, and there have been times when I'd say "screw my mom... she isn't going to run my life anymore" or whatever.  Fact of the matter is, mom is still my mom and my wife is still my wife.  2 separate, completely different women... both important to me.... so I had to learn how to communicate my true feelings.  Part of that is hard because I am often very blunt.  I don't know how to sugar coat things.... that kind of ***** because it often hurts feelings unintentionally.

Your fiance should be flexible enough to understand this situation.  What is the big deal with your mother coming over today, anyhow?  Talk to her about that....  I used to be real rigid in regards to schedules.  If I said I was going to do something on a specific day at a specific time, it damn well happened on that day at that time.  I could not understand why people could not stick to their own schedules....  One day while complaining about someones schedule interfering with mine, my wife kindly pointed out that I had to change my schedule recently and that it is okay to be flexible.

It is okay to be flexible.... I suggest you talk to your fiance and find out what the big deal is about this.  (You have to keep your temper in check for this to work.)  Relax... all you're talking about is why this is such a big deal.  If she cannot be flexible with things that happen regarding your mother, your family, your job.... she should not be flexible with anything in her life... her job, her family, her mother.  

Adding a bit of flexibility to her life will enhance it.
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Avatar_f_tn
U told me in a post before she tryed to break u guys up Denied ur son and is two faced so I. Don't think fighting with ur wife is the right thing to do because she said she could stop by just not today that fact that she is keying her come around says she's trying now u gotta try to I'm so what's the real stories with ur mom because I think before people can cooment they need to no the whole story. I'm not trying to b an *** just give u a new perspective
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Try not to take all these things so serious. Try adding a little spirituality to your every day life. Try expressing your creative talents. You have high energy and this could be channeled to bring great things to your life.
Everyone is pulling you in different directions and your being a fixer upper. Is there some activity thats brings joy to your life?
Try writing poems and enter some contests.
Try creating a new product for the market of your expertise. Take this energy and make it be an asset to you instead of wasting it on all this trama. Your being manipulated by others. They see your high energy output and are using you to accomplish what they cannot.
Back off from helping eveyone and help yourself. We only get one shot at creating our lives and time is precious.

Your not angry but frustrated that you not accomplishing what you want out of life.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi Jimmy so how r things going and I no u said u had a recent addiction not that long ago how is that going cause I was just thinking that can interfear with bipolar treatment also
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Avatar_f_tn
Did u ho back to the doctors yet
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi Jim just checking in with u have u ever tryed they guidence center for free help
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Avatar_f_tn
Well mabye the fact that ur mother was abusive is stooping u from being able to. Fully commit yourself to ur wife u have to make sacrifices in ur relationship and make good choice that benifits you family the both of u answer to eachoter in a way I think every time she disentangle want u to do something application those bad memories come back u need to get help. For that And seems like she still by u threw u being unfaithful. Having a drug problem and the bipolarr that's a lot what about u. Can't do right. A daay or a weexk and then just stop its a life long commitment and if ur mother is that way why would u fight with ur wife over her u have three kids and a wife that is willing to stick by u no matter what not many will do that
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Avatar_f_tn
You are a romodle for your kids and a reflections of your family so u need to associate with people who are gonna help u in life not set u back when I was younger before I got better I hung around people who did drugs got in trouble people who were not family people themselfes and when u are married and have kids u have to make better choices u seem like a smart person please the people that matter not everyone else
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4173517_tn?1350602301
I just want to sau thank you for everything I look forward to reading your opions. They help me out and mean alot so thanks for everythin again
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi, ermm i was just wondering if you could give me any information or advice. Well for about a year now, i get so worked up about thing, anything get set me off for example i flip out, or starting screaming and shouting. The slightest thing can make me mad. Im 16 an im on the implant. Helpp??
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3147776_tn?1349200103
The best way to get feedback is by starting your own thread.  Click the "Back to Community" link at the top of this page, then choose the Ask a Question button to get started.
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jemma116
United Kingdom