How to communicate with someone angry, who blames you for their problems
I have a Fiance who has had a very difficult childhood/life. Everything wrong with his life is being blamed on me!
I love him and constantly try to encourage and renforce his capabilities but it seems to always backfire. Our relationship use to be physicaaly abusive but has now is verbal abusive. It has gotten better but i dont know whats worse, physical or verbal. Please help!
Get out of that relationship and run while you do it. I married a man who was physically and emotionally abusive and it was always my fault according to him. I put up with it for three years and I heard all the excuses, I'm sorry I love you I won't do it again. You should'nt have made me mad. Its your fault that I hit you!. If you leave me I will kill you! If you leave I know where to find you. If you leave I will commit suicide.
reachingout12 its a proven fact that men who are abusive very rarely change, your life could be in danger. you have not married him so you have no reason to stay, even if you have children with this man he will not change and may take it out on your kids, do you want that?
I left my husband and he never did find me. I went to his funeral 6 months later... He commited suicide and his family tried to blame me. I said no it was his doings not mine that caused him to commit suicide, I tried to help him.. Some people you cannot help and they dont want to be helped....My family said it was going to be one of us that died, if I had stayed with him I have no doubt in my mind I wouldn't be here now..
by the way, a man that treats a woman like that really does not love her, otherwise he would cherish you and take care of you.. not take his anger and frustration and his insecurity out on you. I speak only the truth been there and done that. And you may say that its different with you and your fiance, but really its not.. please be careful, as you can tell I feel very strongly about this.. best of luck to you.
What screaming48 said is so very true. This type of man or person, will drag you down with them to a level that believe me you don't want to go! Get out while you can while the getting is good! Another thing, these men are masters at making you feel sorry for them and forgiving them over & over again. It's toxic for your kids too.
Verbal abuse is in alot of ways worse than physical and I will tell you why. It is made to methodically chip away at your self-esteem and it does work. If you stay you will be giving up a very important part yourself and no man is worth that. Your kids need to see by example that they don't put up with someone who doesn't treat them right. You have already made the first step by being here asking for help! The right way isn't always the easy way, but to save your soul and your childern, it worth it!! God Bless you & good luck. We will be here to support you.
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