Hi, I have a big problem. I live with my husband, we not married, but we have a 19 months old son. Also his mother is living with us. I am alone here; I don’t have my family or somebody else. I never liked to love with his mother, I wanted to be alone with him and baby, but we couldn’t let her to live alone. Now I realized that I can’t support anymore, I can’t see her anymore. When I am seeing her my body starts shaking, I just hate her. She is not bad, but I fell that she is in control of everything and my baby. When I told my husband that I don’t like certain thinks he is like, what you want she is good, she is really good not like other mother in law. I start hating her more, because he is protecting her, never protected me. I don’t want to live him; I want to keep the family because I want my baby to have a father. But he is not working out. Also he is screaming at me at everything: “You are to fast, you need to do think slowly, you are in hurry, you are bad with my mother, I don’t like this…” at everything. I was trying to explain to him to speak with me calm, I hate when he scream, he is like,
“ I am not screaming, I am just telling you!!!”
I ask him to move in 2 different apartments, close to each other, like next door, so his mother will be close to us, I just want to have my space, OMG, he got fire: “ Never, what you think, never!”
What do I do, I start getting crazy, I don’t feel any more love, protection and support, what do I do?
Hi, sweetheart, where are you from? A whole lot will depend on the culture you are in. Mothers-in-law are not expected to live with the nuclear family in the United States, for example. Here, it would be considered somewhat unreasonable for a husband to insist on this over his wife's objections. But in other places, for example India, I believe the wife comes to her husband's family and fits in as she can.
Here (in the U.S.), if a husband were to insist that the mom live with him and his wife and child, and the wife didn't like it, if they had the money it would not be considered unreasonable for the wife to suggest getting the apartment next door so everyone could have some privacy.
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