I want to treat myself!!!

Hi!!! I am Rajiv frm mauritius. My prob seems 2 b stupid but it really afecting me n kilin me days by days..ok!! let me introduce myself first. I am a medical student in SSRMC found locally n am in my 1st year. i hav a gr8 prob wiz me which is i hav an anger that i cnt control...i get angry very easily n do lots of things zat finally affect both in my education n in personal life. I am married with no children.my wife too is studyin same course.my wife has been tired controlin me n nw am all alone..am out 4 a solution for my anger...is ther any way??? coz really,its killin me inside...my actual prob is zat my anger is on the tips of my fingers.if i 4got sm notes n dnt understand smthin, i get angry zat is very dificult 2 control...it can even tak days to go away...so i want a precise solution for this!!! is ther any drug too which can calm me??? i took xanax bt hav stop it longago...so plz...is ther sm1 eho might tak me out of this hell...plz am begging u ppl!!!!

[margypops]

Hi Rajiv I dont think a med is what you need but that is your choice, I think some counselling/therapy would help you more as you can speakto some person your concerns,  you say you get angry when  you forget something,  we agree thats small stuff, so you dont handle stress very well, you need to get to the point thats when these everyday small occurances happen, you accept it, then correct the mistake. It is a good thing that you realise now there is a problem before there are children around as anger will brush of on them and cause anxiety.I do believe our thoughts can get us into trouble, maybe you are over thinking, so first I would say to you, next time that frustation at some small or large incident you have no control over, comes up, put it aside immediatly think of something else, ground /distract your self. Its Impossible to experience any negative feeling without first creating a corresponding negative thought. The truthis, our thinking will always create the reality we perceive.Its not a hell, it is the way you handle your thoughts and stress,Good Luck let us know how you are doing,

[R2SaM]

thnks 4 z reply.ya..u mention abt therapy..can u suggest wat type of therapy. in fact, u knw, zes days am passin thru a stressful life...each week i hav exams n all n hav loads 2 rev...so do u hav a simple solution 4 z time being...coz really i wanna control it...else i wil lose everything...even my wife told me she gona divorce if i gona continue like zis coz she scared of me these days...

[jo929]

First let me ask if you had this anger before you entered medical school, because it is a stressful occpation even if you finish there are days of internship, and you will be around lots of people, no sleep for long periods can you handle this, my brother had a job that just stressed him out but no anger he just could not sleep and was nervous but instead of turning to meds he changed jobs and lived a long and happy life, if you had this before i would suggest another occpation and go for anger management couseling  luck  jo

[R2SaM]

u knw!!! In fact i dnt wanted 2 join z medical school. i was forced by my parents...i wanted 2 b a pilot. today i cnt change z course sinc my father passed last year n nw i wil face sm financial prob if i chang z course...so my anger is all due to z course. if only i had sm financial support, i would change it longago, bt sinc i hav no1 4 help, i can see myself in hell n soon b a victim of.....anw thnks 2 all those who tried to help me here...

[margypops]

You do have help you came here. so listen up... I am not certain if therapy is available you can afford  where you live but probably some kind of counselling is ...start with your Doctor tell him about the problems and how it is affecting your marriage , ask if you can get someone who will listen , maybe you have some deep seated frustration needs addressing from childhood, they will lead you through it ,cognative therapy , that may help but I know here it is expensive.You can also be in control more of your emotions, when you feel anger, switch your mind to other areas ,positive ones, we all have good things happening to us, focus on those things. Its only your thoughts doing this to you. Many books out there ,to help you, google it you will find quite a lot and can send for them, check out the internet book sites like Amazon.

[kathy434]

You have been forced into a field that is not in your interest.  If you would rather be a pilot, then switch to this area that you love.  You can make a good pilot, and an awful doctor only because your interests are different than your father's goal for you.  If your wife likes her medical studies and the idea of being a future doctor, that is good for her.

My children have all gone to college.  They chose the fields of their own interests.  Some get very good incomes and some less than the others.  But they love the work they are doing and they are good at what they are doing because they love and chose what suits them best.

You may lose your money for medical school.  But it is better than losing yourself.  Give it some thought, ask yourself if being a doctor is what YOU want, and if not, then check into what is offered and required for flight school and see if you are still interested in that.  There are other jobs you can train for that you would like too.  Talk to a school counselor about it.

You are an adult.  You will have to make it on your own no matter where family money came from.  You can do it.  Also, listen to margypops.  She is right about the way you think.  If you think unhappy or stressed thoughts, your emotions to that will follow.  You have control over this.  Good luck and stay in touch.

[R2SaM]

I undestand u. but changing field nw is too late bcoz i already paid 1.2 M for medical school zat is nat refundable. i do get good marks bt love 2 it is stil low...hop soon i gona get it. frm my own experience, i can  say zat zis field is stressful...just imagine each monD n tuesD, i hav exams...no weekends n all...it really stressful...bt sinc my father passed last year..tensions r too much here...in order 2 get money i do hav to work in my farm n all...so i got angry in petty things coz am just irritated rite nw...so i want 2 finis wiz it...i tried loads..i do try 2 kip me calm buy drinkin loads of water wen i feel am getin angry...it do works bt nat always...i just wanna a final solution...hop 2 find it too ;(((

[kathy434]

There is no magic bullet that is going to make you feel good.
You must realize that Medical School is going to be stressful.  It is long hours, tough subjects, some things can even feel scarey to you in what you are studying.  All the medical students are going through this stress too.
If you have trouble understanding your studies, maybe you need to have a tuitor, a person who can work with you and explain how to learn to find your answers.  You are in a very tough subject.  Just take each day one day at a time. Remember, you are no Superman.  Nobody is.  There will always be students better than you, and there will always be student not as good as you.  Every morning, ask your Creator to bless you with a clear mind for this one day and you will do your very best.
Don't start popping pills.  That is a highway to disaster and failure in school and life.  It is no magic bullet.  Breathe deep when you get upset.  Get up and do something else.  Take a walk around the block.  Do an hour of farmwork.  Sometimes when you are doing something else, the answer to your problem just pops into your mind.  If you do Yoga, you can practice relaxation and deep breathing.  Just give yourself breaks in your studying and rest your mind.  Think of other things.  Let your brain catch up.  It too gets very tired, just like your muscles, tendons, joints.  Everything needs a time to rest.

[margypops]

Thats great input from kathy 434 follow what she tells you, its the way through .....Good Luck

[R2SaM]

thanks..am tryin wat u said ...its workin a bit..i hav been able 2 control my anger til nw...thnks loads...if poss to send me mor..coz i really find ur input gud....