Anger Management Community
Need help not getting upset so easily
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Need help not getting upset so easily

As a child and growing up I would get upset and angry so easily within minutes. Now that I'm in my mid-twenties and in a serious relationship, my boyfriend pointed out that I tend to get upset easily about things that someone wouldn't get upset about. I really don't want to ruin this relationship, he means the world so I need to do whatever I can to fix this. Any suggestions?!

PS. I come from a family who has anger issues.
3 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
I'd suggest seeing your primary care physician first, and get some kind of plan of attack in place to address this.  The plan could consist of an anti depressant/anti anxiety prescription and a bit of therapy.

It is important to get to the reason for you being angry.  If you've been this way since childhood, there are probably some deep seated reasons for the anger, and its been repressed for decades.  

I learned this in some of my therapy.  Each situation is different and its own separate issue and must be treated that way.  Each issue deserves attention, but the attention from one issue cannot be transferred to the next issue.  Take each issue one at a time.  Take a deep breath and think before acting or responding.  Try to be rational and make that a priority.

Therapy can help, but you'll have to do your part too.  That starts with you going to the doctor and doing your homework.  The good news is, it is all doable.

Good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you...problem is im already on anti depressionist and anxiety meds. I have done the therapist thing. I have a lot of childhood resentment towards my parents and I know what it is and I have talked to them to try to get pass it but they just deny that stuff ever happened. However my grandparents agree with me but told me just to try to move on with my life.   I don't think I'll ever really be able to. :/
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Avatar_m_tn
That is similar to what happened with me, regarding your parents.  Here's the thing.... you can address this with them by saying "You did __________ and it really hurt me.  You can try to deny what you did and you can try to deny my pain in the aftermath.  What you cannot deny is, I am going to hold you accountable for what you did.  It hurt and I learned a few very important lessons because of this.  (How not to treat people, especially your kids.)  For that, I am thankful.  I am willing to move forward and I forgive you for what you've done.  I promise I won't forget and I promise that I won't let it ruin my life."

Hold them accountable!

The person I needed to hold accountable died before I could address all of my issues with them.  (My dad)  And that too is okay because I may have done something that I would have regretted.  But, stepping up and letting them know that "it hurt and they are responsible for that hurt and what they did" is perfectly reasonable.

Them being in denial is there problem and it will come back to them eventually.  I would be awesome if they could step up and apologize, and that may or may not happen.  But you can't wait for that in order to move on.  You've got a life to live and you deserve to live it whether they will "fess up" or not.

Good luck to you,.
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