Rage

Never thought I'd be joining this forum but recent events have made me think I should.  For a number of reasons (not excuses) I've had a lot of mood swings - one of the prominent underlying emotions is rage.  I'm in therapy but the anger and rage often just come out before I can prevent it.  Maybe others have found a way to control their anger and I would welcome any suggestions.  Don't know what will come of this but - you never know.

Maybe there are some answers here.  If you know me and dislike me or want to tell me that I'm here because no other forum wants me, please keep it to yourself.  I'm trying to change my behavior, not be trashed.

[Dazon50]

Welcome here.  

:-))))
Donna

[cell88]

funny you have trouble holding it in and I keep it in want to trade I need to blow some smoke (I well be fine as always) went to my dr he give me some chill pill and said to stay away from salt bp hight funny when I get mad I cant get enough salt) I well be fine hope the same for you

[MJIthewriter]

I'm kind of in an introspective mood. I wonder if each of us handles hurt feelings differently.  I believe it's common to get angry when something upsets us. That anger gets taken differently. Some people try to hide it, others may react outwardly.

I believe a lot of it comes from things we can't control.  At least I find that with myself. If I could make everything peaceful and not have my feelings hurt, or not end up in a stressful situation (waiting in line, or be forced a crowded store w/ screaming children, for instance), or another thing: I seriously wish I could have any item I want to find, just right in front of me...but if I have to "hunt" to find things then I'm angry...I'm stressed... For me when I get angry I start crying uncontrollably and at times can make strange animal like grunts. (usually crying is my way of dealing with anger that's triggered by emotional things and people. Animal like grunts and temper tantrum like fits seems to be how I react to the anger for things I can't find instant enough...) Sometimes I threw things and got physical.... Sometimes I broke things out of anger, including some of my art projects. For me a lot of the anger came from feeling inferior...I had an ideal perfectionism set in my head and if it couldn't be perfect then that was it...I got angry.

Now it seems procrastination is one of my weaknesses. I feel if I can't get it to look as I have it set in my head, then I put it off....It's probably another form of anger.  I get angry over lost opportunities, times I think I could have done x rather than y.... I could go on. A lot of it is a lack of patience.

[NeedAdvice777]

If you're going to therapy then that's important. You also may want to get a book called Self Directed Behavior off amazon.com   That book can help with helping to modify your habits and behavior

[Jade59]

Hi hon, all I can say today is...Ugh!  So angry and I know how you feel!  

Feelin' the Rage!

[teko]

I had to go on Paxil for the same reason LW.  It did help me tremendously tho. I have just recently weaned off and am ok now.  It could be a reaction you are having to meds, or it could be that all the stress is bubbling out from the inside! I know when I get hurt it comes out as anger and when I get angry I want to do bodily harm to everyone in my sights!  Really, I dont think this is something that you will control without help. Ask the doc about paxil, which is great for anxiety and in my case, anger.

Ah Ha! I found you! he he! :D

[teko]

I would also like to add that when my hubby was on statins and that other one um, oh the blood pressure meds, he was awful! Would blow up in my face, say nasty things and rant and rave.  He no longer takes them! So yeah google your meds too.

[lonewolf07]

I've been looking into the possible side effects of my meds.  However, I have felt rage for years - rage at being second-class because of being female, Native and other systemic things that are part of our society.  The best therapy I ever had allowed me to work with the body in a controlled setting.  We could smash things, hit things, have tantrums, yell and do anything that didn't hurt anybody.  The other group members validated our anger because we were all women who had been hurt and unable to fight back because the things that made us angry were so embedded in our society.  That doesn't mean that drugs or thyroid problems don't cause anger but sometimes the anger just builds up to the the point that I want to explode.

In a setting like MH, where we can only write and have to follow rules about swearing, etc., there is the potential for people to try to "push our buttons" and make us feel that we aren't worthy human beings.  I'm tired of hurting because I think I've said something wrong; I'm tired of being attacked for no reason and realize I AM ANGRY.  I still have to play by the rules here but there's nothing that says I have to associate with those who deliberately try to cause hurt, pain and lie to achieve this.

Anger can be used in a constructive way - like writing, painting, etc.  But IMHO, women are encouraged not to display anger but we have to.  It's like having an infected sore - the poison of the infection has to come out.  At the moment, that's how I see anger.  Get rid of the poison and heal.

Hope that made some sense.  Sometimes we have to be "Bad to the Bone"  lol

[Jade59]

Smash things?  Oooh...sounds good!  I would love to smash or break something right now.  

Been reading the posts on this forum so far and here's my question.  You've been through this class and you're still angry.  I've read books, realized that anger is draining and exhausting, know other people have it worse than I do, have forgiven my parents, try to "choose my battles," practice deep breathing and relaxation techniques, but still, a situation arises and there's the Anger.  So, now what?  When something happens to make us angry, how do we handle it like normal people instead of spinning out of control?  Is it just inate?  Is there hope?

Maybe we need Paxil, honey :)

[cell88]

smash or break something, lets do it

[Cherie762]

ask your doc first but look into a kick boxing class w her or his permission and kick some major booty..its great cardio and self impowering,

[Cherie762]

in the mean time odd term huh ( mean time LOL) beat the **** outta your bed pillow...thats what I used to have my boys do when they felt angry,,anger is a normal emotion, its how we handle it that needs to be monitered. btw big hugs to you my dear friend,,

[lonewolf07]

cell88 - I can think of a few things I'd like to smash.  They aren't worth anything anyway  lol

Cherie - that's a good idea, I ask the dr about it.  I have some stuffed toys that I throw around and kick.  The dogs think I'm playing.   Hugs to you all too.

[cell88]

you know its funny when my kids where young and they would get mad I would take them outside and let them hit each other with soft bats in the end they would end up rolling on the grass and having a good old time (maybe sometimes we need to just act like kids )*

[lonewolf07]

That's a good idea.

Here's my soft bat  =========O

Here's cell88               X

=================================O  oooops, I tripped and fell in the dirt

cell88 is safe; wolf needs a bath .... it might cool me off

[margypops]

I dont think you need my comment I can tell you are feeling better already glad you were able to vent it out, we all do at times dont we... did mine publically the other day ,definatly felt better later.

[lonewolf07]

Sometimes anger can be vented or helped by talking about it.  However, the past few days I have been just full of rage and can barely control it.  I'd post a journal or a thread about it but I have a sense I'd hear "attention seeker" or "drama queen".  That's part of what makes me so angry, not being able say/write how I feel without being labelled.  I'm in therapy, take meds but those are the standard comments that I've seen - not just aimed at me but at others too.  How can we heal if we're muzzled?  To MH - that was not directed at you.

Glad your venting helped.