Something Triggers My Anger, But I can't Pinpoint it?

Hi, I'm Rahul.
I've been battling my anger problem since I was a kid around 5 yrs old. It wasn't bad before, but as I reached Adolescence I noticed I had more things getting more off. Now I'm 21, and I find myself getting worse.
See the thing with me is, that this year (during winter vacation from school), I have noticed that in the regular speech with my parents or brother I use profanity numerous times. It may just be a habit but I say it in a way expresses anger..Even though when I'm talking most of the time I am not angry. Anyways...I've gotten a part time job this break, to get away from home and make my break useful and earn some cash. When I return home from work, something aggravates me to the point that I feel something in my skin twitching. Its not even like one of my family members said something to me or did something, I feel a rush of anger. And when I come home everytime, I can't seem to quietly and peacefully say "hello" or "how has your day been?" I always come out with an aggressive voice.
[ON A SIDE NOTE]::: I have a thing against my dad, and I believe I've felt like this since I was about 11. Whenever I see my dad or am around him, I sense myself wanting to curse him out for no reason!!
My father is a very respectable person, and I notice that and I know that says, does and sacrifices things so it makes my life easier and better. Even with that understanding, I just want to curse him out.

Anyways, today I was making plans for New Years Eve.
I calmly spoke with my father about taking the car out and picking up my friend. And the plan was to drop off the car at another friend's house (a girl's house) and carpool with them to Chicago. The reason I planned it that way was because I understand that even though I may have not been drunk, others on the road may be, And I don't want to get in an accident with my car. So going with another friend was the idea. And then from there we would drive to my friend's apartment, park and take a taxi from there to our party. (Since we all plan to drink yet be safe at the same time.)
Once the party is over, we plan to take a taxi back to the apartment and crash at my friend's apartment for the night and recover and head back to the suburbs that day. By then I'd be sober and the girls will too, so it would be safe to drive back.

While I waited for my father's response, he said, "look Rahul, I trust that you will be safe but I do not trust the streets. I will drive you to the the girl's house and then you can go from there." [this got me twitching again...because you see, to where I would be driving, I wouldn't even be on the highway and we were planning to leave around 3pm. So that means nobody will be drunk and roaming the roads...Me being 21 (an adult) and having my dad take me to the girl's house will be awkward as well as embarrasing for me. For soem reason, parents never understand that!! But anyways.That's what he offered, and I declined it. (there was more arguing and reasoning..but that's too much to write).

My friend called me later and told me to try it once more, but the thing is..Once most INDIAN parents say NO, the answer is NO. But I tried regardless, because I was the last hope for this thing to work out.
Again the answer was NO.

I felt anger take a hold of me right then and started threatening my parents and saying stuff I shouldn't have. Like "Let's fight, who ever wins will have control over the car.." and etc.

But the point is....I know my reasoning was well thought out and I believe it was safe. And I completely understand where my father is coming from with his reasoning. But I think our egos clash and cause my anger to engulf me if you know what I'm saying.

I just want to end the year with a bang, a night without parents, embarrasment and anger.
My resolution is to solve my anger/ego problems and get along with my dad. Because he and I have caused each other a lot of pain, and I know that the only way things will be good is if we cooperated.

I feel that trying to battle with my dad's ego is what troubles me because I can never seem to have fun when it is the right time to have fun, because there is always HIM to shoot me down.

I came to this forum to get help, because I know parents never change. But I will be the better person if I could adapt and change myself to make our father-son relationship work out.

Thanks,
Rahul

[brice1967]

Hey Rahul, something you said about wanting to curse your father out struck a chord with me.  I had a similar situation with my father.  He and I had an on again, off again relationship through my adolesence, and he wasnt really there when I needed him.  (I am not saying that is the deal between you and your dad.)

The thing is, it was totally rational thinking when he denied you using the vehicle but then offered to take you to your friends house.  You get where you're going safely and the car gets home safely... totally rational and seems to be a win win situation.

There is an underlying problem that would be best addressed by your health care provider or perhaps a psychiatrist or other therapist.  I knew I had problems for years, even decades, but didn't seek help until it was almost too late.  

You are a young man with your whole life in front of you.  Address this now.  There is no need to walk around with whatever it is bothering you.  You will get to the bottom eventually, and you will learn to deal with it more effectively.

[DOCTER_DUNITALL]

SOUNDS LIKE YOU JUST NEED TO SET YO LIL *** DOWN SOME WHERE