Specific Management of "Bottled" Anger

Good morning or evening or day or night or afternoon ladies and gentlemen and whattup. My name is Hamed Khatiz and I am a 16 year old student, writer, drummer, shooter guard, advice giver, friend and many more from Sydney, NSW, Australia. My main question, however is about none of those whatsoever. My main message is about the specific management of anger and emotion that has been what many people would call "bottled". I would really appreciate any well developed answer. I am leaving the site in early December and I have asked a bajillion questions, but this one is one of the more serious ones.

OK, let me fill you in on a situation. I recently lost a whole group of friends, about 10 people and the emotions and anger I have felt since has been ongoing. I was kind of anrgy at the situation three months ago when the situation began but this week, I actually got the reason why I creep them out so much and I was absolutely furious. First day I got the reason, I was going off at everyone I saw. The justification was absolutely stupidly stupid.

Ever since, when my former friends cross my mind, I get a rush down the front of my torso. I get angry, monumentally and momentarily frustrated. Music won't help, even though it seems to help most of everything else and yelling at them or even talking to them about it would make the situation worse. Sounds stupid, but true.

Should I get a boxing bag, play hard rock on the drum kit, what? How do I fix this?

It is probably worth noting they still think the "reason" is a secret. They still refuse to tell me what I already know.

Please don't answer by asking another question, that's annoying, just hit me with your best answer...

[brice1967]

Hey Hamed!  

Couple of things popped into my mind when I read this.  First of all, if the "reason" is legitimate, it's too bad that it wasn't workable... but that would allow me to see the legitimacy of the friendships in the first place.  Most "friends" are there through it all with you and those that aren't... what's the use of calling them friends?  Their sucking energy, let em go.

Secondly, if the reason is fabricated or otherwise B.S., good riddance.  You don't need that, and you'll probably at the very least witness this somewhere else as you age.  Maybe you wont be directly involved, but having gone through this before, you'll be a valuable asset to the person who is going through it then.

Friendships are weird and sometimes one sided... unfortunately.  Friendships born out of convenience are useless man.  I've had some.  And once you are on to them, let them dissolve or functionally and tactfully end them yourself.  You don't need to be a jerk when ending them, just point out the facts and that you don't need friends that only need to be friends when it is convenient for them.

[brice1967]

Hey Hamed!  

Couple of things popped into my mind when I read this.  First of all, if the "reason" is legitimate, it's too bad that it wasn't workable... but that would allow me to see the legitimacy of the friendships in the first place.  Most "friends" are there through it all with you and those that aren't... what's the use of calling them friends?  Their sucking energy, let em go.

Secondly, if the reason is fabricated or otherwise B.S., good riddance.  You don't need that, and you'll probably at the very least witness this somewhere else as you age.  Maybe you wont be directly involved, but having gone through this before, you'll be a valuable asset to the person who is going through it then.

Friendships are weird and sometimes one sided... unfortunately.  Friendships born out of convenience are useless man.  I've had some.  And once you are on to them, let them dissolve or functionally and tactfully end them yourself.  You don't need to be a jerk when ending them, just point out the facts and that you don't need friends that only need to be friends when it is convenient for them.

[hava]

Alternative to punching something, follow this breathing technique to expel air from your lungs. It will lower your anger, but at the same time you will get rid of toxins from your body.Do it for up to 30 minutes, or until you are tired, and let the brain do whatever it wants.
Kapalbhati pranayam -(Do it before eating)
Build up your timing gradually.If you feel tired or dizzy, stop and resume after one minute.
Push air forcefully out through the nose about once per second. Stomach will itself go in(contract in). The breathing in(through the nose) will happen automatically. Establish a rhythm and do for 20 to 30 minutes twice a day. Children under 15 years – do 5 to 10 minutes twice a day.
Not for pregnant women. Seriously ill people do it gently.
November 14, 2011